Forgetting the Splendor of Empty

          If one should wrap up the whole of the I Ching it would be “heaven fills what is empty and empties what is full”. Today I want to talk literally about nothing…about silence…about emptiness.

          Not so long ago I saw one of the most disturbing ads on television that I had seen in a long time. The scene was set on a sunny, fuzzy afternoon presumably on a weekend day where everyone was off work and at home. The home was largish and clean and everything America Perfecta. A mom was strolling through her home with a dreamy sort of smile and a figure that few real moms have. Soft, swooning, inspirational though all the while upbeat music played as she moved room to room. She looked in one room and Dad is with his friends jumping around over a sports game on the television. She then floats upstairs where she sees Son playing video games with some friends and then she espies Daughter working (or surfing) on the computer. All the while Mom has this sort of glazed over joy that normally I would attribute to pot or something you can pick up with a prescription these days. Then Mom strolls into her private sanctuary—a painting studio no less—and puts on the headphones of a compact CD player and begins painting. Then the voice over comes…with the marvel of electronic technology the whole family can be wired in just the way they like it (or something like that…). Luckily the second time I saw that ad I was with a dear friend who loudly gasped in horror by the morbidity of the ad—it made me feel more comfortable with my initial horror for it is awkward to feel sickened by something that portrays itself as completely and utterly heavenly as that ad did their little electronically wired Familius Pefectus Americus.

          Besides the obvious revelation that to have an electronically connected family very often means to have a human-level disconnected family, what also disturbed me was this present—almost panicked—need to be constantly doing something. From waiting on the bus, to strolling down the street, and even to enduring a slight lull at a party everyone seems to be grabbing at his or her phones, PDAs, or Blackberries.

         In every wisdom and religious tradition silence is the exclusive route to peace, wonder, and intelligence. So much of the world can be understood if only one would wait at a bus stop in silence. Perhaps they would even begin to see that “wait” has really nothing to do with the bus stop. Wait is a dangerous word for it implies that ones life has only a few selective moments of importance or splendor whereas the rest is simply a boring platform from which we are able to jump good time to good time. The big problem is that Wait can really begin to fill somebody’s life forcing them to seek more and more diversions (like watching music videos on their phone or checking their emails on their Blackberries), and what one then has is not really a life richly lived but an ornate disconnection from life…a sort of living death.

         Noise, Something, and Flurry are as addictive as any potent drug and they deliver similar results. However, Quiet, Nothing, and Stillness are so potent that even a gingerly attempt to bring them into ones life can bring dramatic results. And what are some of those results? Wisdom based insights; a rich sense of life, and even material success can only enter into empty vessels. If one is filling every moment of their life with some sort of activity or sound than I assure you heaven will not fill it but actually will seek to empty your life. However, when heaven empties it can be quite painful (though still ultimately healing). For many when heaven decides that it is time to empty the event takes the form of some sort of crisis. A time of crisis can actually be a pivotal moment when a person can absolutely transform their lives, however, if one panics and refills their life with diversions, once again, they will be waiting for wonder, intelligence, and peace and once again heaven will empty them out bringing yet another crisis.

         The key to escape this seesaw of diversion to crisis is to embrace emptiness and learn to live a balanced life of nothing and something. For as wisdom grows you will begin to see what should be full and what should be left empty. And in that balance as if by miracle the universe will fill what is empty with grace and success and empty what was full of pain and suffering. For many wisdom traditions this balance is called enlightenment. However, one must not be so daunted by such a fantastic—almost mythological—idea such as Enlightenment. In reality this balance is really about turning the stereo off for a while, walking around with a quiet mind, and getting out of the habit of “waiting”.

         Other great ways to learn how to put emptiness in ones life is learning how to meditate. There are many great forms of meditation—each catering to a different personality type (be careful though of any teacher who charges a great deal of money). There are a lot of great books on mediation—my suggestion is that you begin at your local library and check out as many as you can. Meditation, though connected to many religions, can be absolutely “God or religion free” so do not be turned off if you see many styles connected to a particular religion. Several books have been written by doctors regarding meditation techniques that they have found to help their patients.

         Whether you decide to learn mediation or perhaps take off the portable CD player when you walk I assure you that profound results will arise. I have personally realized this phenomenon of “heaven fills what is empty and empties what is full”, and I can honestly say that the more I embrace Nothing the more rich and magical life becomes.

To Fight or To Grow

         Some time ago I caught on television, way out in the hinterland of my cable subscription, a lecture that for some reason or another caught my mind and stuck with me. The film quality was a good medium for the lighting and sound were consistent enough for me to believe it was made with some intention and the audience was large. The scene was that of a large classroom or perhaps a small auditorium with two absolute hippie types a husband and a wife sitting up front on bar-type stools with microphone stands in front of each person. The couple appeared to be in their late fifties with subtle strands of gray coming down their longish brown hair. I believe they were both wearing outdoor type attire and the woman wore no makeup or noticeable jewelry. Now, generally speaking it was these very types of spectacles that usually cause me to laugh and merely watch—not as student—rather as anthropologist. However, what would absolutely surprise me was that not so long into their lecture I would find myself no longer a lofty spectator but a stilled listener and now I think a bit of a student. I never caught their names, but I did keep with me a very intriguing idea. And over the years I have experimented with their idea regarding life and change and dealing with life. What I have found so far is that they were on to something and that sometimes the universe can teach us things in ways we least expect…which in a way furthers those two amazing hippies’ point.

         They were discussing change or rather how we go about change. Change can really mean anything: I am bored so I would like that to change…there is great injustice in the world so I would like that to change…I do not like the senator so I would like that to change…I do not like my body so I would like that to change. Essentially, the want or mission for change can be very small—so small that we hardly notice it—or change can be quite large so large that we feel as though it just might be impossible. Change becomes even more complex in that so often we are ruled by so many wants or missions for change that we become unconscious to many of them. We feel a discomfort then seek to change. Change can swing the other way: we become so overwhelmed with a want for change that everything else in our lives becomes unconscious. In both cases, want for change or the mission for change can sever us from the real. Interestingly, it is not really the actual change that causes the problem—that takes us out of our life our center and makes us unreal. It is the want or the mission that causes the problems.

         Now I have put myself in a terrible or terrific spot (logically at least) for I am writing this essay and indeed I have written many essays regarding The Champagne Life and my searching for it. Searching for a life called The Champagne Life denotes that right now I am living some other life or at least The Not Champagne Life. The key though is to manage searching, wanting, and embarking without severing one from life. If I think all the time of wanting something different then I am not seeing the life going on right now. And if I am not really paying attention to my life right now then I am not really making very good decisions that just might lead to the change I want or need.

          Now if I recognize that I should avoid severing myself from life or being real as I seek change then more likely than not I will take on a couple of attitudes. Today I want to discuss one of the more popular attitudes people take on when embarking on change and that is Fight.

         Behind the two hippies (both I believe were wearing down vests and flannel shirts) was a white board. The husband stood up and drew a little circle in the middle of the board and said something—the something—that has now permanently made a home in my mind. He said in the world there are really two main ways we can do something: we can operate in this little circle and fight it out. We can make a war of our lives. Or we can operate outside of the circle where things effortlessly grow. Now normally situations like these trigger my “fruity alarm” and I find myself haughtier than anything. Somehow though at that moment I felt a rather different bell—a sort of ding a ling I get it bell.

         Let us first look at fight. All the time I hear that I’ve got to see it as a fight. I’ve got to fight for myself, fight for justice, etc…. Some of the fighting must be against myself: that I need to fight all those demons that seem to be teeming out of not only me but all the other poor saps who find that the have to fight some impulse or desire inside of themselves. Some fighting must be against other people: I must fight the people who disrespect me or who don’t know or care about me. And some fighting is for abstractions: I must fight for my marriage or for freedom or for justice. Fighting has some good points: it is exciting, it is something to do, and it can make me feel heroic even though the change I want has not yet happened. So I find that I am happy with the change of what I was to becoming a hero. So perhaps it was not really justice that I desired rather becoming a hero. There are problems too with fighting: fighting can be fatiguing, fighting can blur us from our goals (like instead of making a real change in the state of our lives we make only a change in the way we see ourselves: we see ourselves as hero). Fighting is also problematic because it needs a foe and foes swing back often with equal force—which can mean that one’s life becomes about fighting and really nothing else. If you try to lose weight by fighting yourself your foe will swing back with much force and you will find your eating becoming increasingly removed from why you began to eat as a human in the first place. Lastly, fighting is a really tight and small space. If you want to change something through fighting then you will have to do it in a ring. Fighting needs a laser like focus. You must lock onto your foe in order to swing at it, and if your foe is persistent then you will not be able to take your attention off your foe—not even for a minute—for the moment you do your foe will swing back. This means that you must live your life dedicated to your enemy, which means you will not have room or time to see, enjoy or experience much else.

         Now let’s leave the ring. Here is the world outside of the ring. This world achieves change in quite another way. It grows. An acorn becomes an oak tree not by fighting but by growing. Roses become not by fighting but by growing. The world has become not by fighting but by growing—expanding—evolving. Everything is used in growing. Everything is an opportunity in evolving. If you decide to take on the growing attitude you will not sever yourself from the real, from life, because growing needs everything around it to continue. Problems can become fertilizer—opportunities from which we can further or even speed up our growth. The growing attitude will not sever you from yourself because a tree cannot sever itself from its roots and grow because a person cannot sever itself from its roots and grow. Instead of fighting all of those parts of yourself make them long roots from which you can grow from.

         Really, I could probably devote a whole book to this idea of learning to grow instead of fight. However, it is my hope that just the idea is all one needs. For me personally I have found that whenever I calm a bit and change my attitude from fight to grow that seeming miracles happen in my life. So again, I will give you the image that has certainly given me much food for growth: think of a small circle in the middle of a vast white surface. Do you want to life your life in the little circle or do you want to life in the vast universe?

         Lastly, for all of my loyal readers—my beloved sailors and patrons joining me on my quest for The Champagne Life—my column will now be a weekly instead of a daily column. I have been blessed with a remarkable creative and professional opportunity and will need extra time so I can balance my magazine, column, and other writing duties. It is my hope, however, that the quality and depth of this forum will not diminish and will actually improve, as I will have more time to craft my essays. I thank you again for all of your support. Each new column will be out on Friday.

Change and the Environment Part III

         This will be my final installment regarding change and the environment. I suppose one of the more surprising things is that really I have not given any suggestions as to how one should actually change their environment. Actually, in my previous column, Part II, I suggested that one avoids making any kinds of external changes based on their dreaming exercise. However, I will today be better explaining why I do not think one should barrel in and begin to redecorate their lives during a time of change, and why I asked you not only to daydream the life you want to live as the person you want to be but secondly, I asked everyone to begin to deeply notice how both their emotional and bodily states feel and react when they visualize.

         I will first state again that it is my wholehearted belief that one’s exterior life is a reflection of one’s interior. The order is important here: for if you begin to convince yourself that it was or is the environment that is currently causing what your interior life is like (a.k.a. your mental, emotional, and bodily states) than sadly I believe you will continue to run into the same problems—just with a slightly different location. However, if one can really work on the interior of one’s life than I believe the exterior will quite naturally and effortlessly transform accordingly to your new inner self.

         By making a steady habit of visualizing what sort of person and what sort of life you want to live you are gradually changing your mind as to who you are. This is key. If you have decided that you are a fat person, or you are a smoker, or you are a workaholic, or you are someone who is afraid of intimacy, than no matter how hard you try to modify you will always be locked in a battle state which can be held but usually not for long and with much suffering. In truth all you really are is you and regardless of your various states it is important to learn how to not define yourself by your shortcomings or your seeming good attributes as well. By teasing away the labels you have pasted to yourself you can begin to really free yourself from the habits, fears, or life you have outgrown or no longer feel good about.

         The second key thing to visualizing your dream life it that it literally creates a new set of mental, emotional, and bodily states that you can lean on in trying times. I shall use losing weight as an example, but the technique can work for any endeavor. Say you are trying to lose weight and as you daydreamed your life as a fit and slim person you notice a certain posture to form in your back—perhaps a straightening of your spine. When you are faced with temptation a great way to go beyond it is to mimic the bodily sensations you noticed when you were visualizing. This really—really works. So, when you are dying to eat the leftovers in the fridge late in the evening adjust your body to the posture you noticed when you were dreaming yourself as a thin person. With practice you can even call up the emotional states that you felt in your dream exercise whenever you feel yourself wanting to backslide back into your old habits. In time you will find a gradual and almost miraculous transition. By practicing and using the various mental, emotional, and physical states you felt when you visualized your dream life you will find your everyday waking life feeling more and more like the one you dreamed.

         The key is that change does not have to be a mighty battle. Mighty battles are fun indeed and there is a great draw in the initial rush, however, they never last. True change is more like water—seemingly without color, mass, or strength—yet power enough to carve the Grand Canyon.

         So, I suppose for this seeker of the Champagne Life I have come to believe that change must ultimately begin in the mind. However, I have also realized that changing one’s mind is far more difficult than one’s wardrobe, town, or even lover. When it comes to change and the environment my beloved Patrons and Sailors it is my heartiest recommendation that the environment from which you should focus is the one beneath the skin.

Change and the Environment Part II

         In Part I of Change and the Environment I discussed a few key issues regarding change: change really begins in the mind, one’s outer life is an expression of one’s inner life and that to begin to work with one, one must begin to work with the other, and lastly that the first step in dealing with one’s environment one should begin with one’s imagination. The little exercise I suggested was to spend at least a half hour or so a day simply imagining your life as the person you want to be. If you want to change a habit or your body or your lifestyle or your career you must first imagine that change. I suggested that you should expand your dream as much as possible. What do you do for fun in your perfect life? How do you dress? What kinds of things are important to you in your dream life? How do you decorate your house in your new life? The main keys to this exercise are to be utterly uninhibited and to be as detailed as you possibly can. You may if it helps write the dream down, however, I believe learning the discipline of visualizing is a good life skill and would really implore you all to practice sitting and dreaming.

         But what does one do with all that dreaming? Believe it or not one of the most pivotal aspects of this exercise is the exercise. However, there are secondary fruits that can be had by dreaming one’s life.

         The first exercise is to pay attention to your emotional state as you dream. How do you feel when you notice how you are dressing in your dream life? How do you feel when you look around the home of your new life—your home after you returned to school and pursued your dream career or your home after you quit smoking or your home when you finally managed to lose weight? Even the slightest of changes in one’s self can bring significant changes in one’s life. Exercising everyday may bring new friends and favorite activities, which may lead to unexpected adventures. But for this exercise the key is to pay attention to how you feel when you are visualizing your dream life.

         The second exercise is to pay attention to your body as you visualize your dream life. What does it feel like in your chest, your legs, your breathing, and your face when you are creating scenarios of life after change? How do your hands feel as you roll over an imaginary workday with your new, transformed self? Genuinely focus your attention to your body. I assure you that your body will be quite vocal.

         With both exercises the key is to really pay attention—both to your body sensations and your emotional states as you visualize your dream you in your dream life. At first this may seem like a curious thing to do, and perhaps it may feel like you are not doing anything at all, however, I assure you that you are doing one of the more effective and profound things you can do if you want to bring successful change in your life.

         Believe it or not what I believe you should not do with your visualizations or daydreams is to try and immediately emulate the things you see in your visions. Do not run out and buy the clothes you dream or begin to save money for the car you see yourself in. The truth is that those things are still reflections of the you now and actually are of little importance. Secondly, you will find as you embark on this dream journey that the details will evolve and change. The absolute key is to begin to really memorize your emotional and body states as you dream your life.

         That is all I have room for today. Next I will be taking you to another step with this visualization exercise. Remember…remember…really take the time to notice and make a mental note of how your body feels and how your emotional states flow when you imagine the life you want to live.

Change and the Environment Part I

         Today I am going to continue my ongoing series regarding change. One of the reasons I have decided to focus my columns on change this issue is because I believe this to be the most perfect time of the year for change. The holidays now will be lighter hearted and the weather is still inclement enough to not want to be as out and about as normal. With the darker evenings one also has a better chance of settling down and working on the interior of one’s self rather that having a ball in the exterior. Soon enough the sun will come back and the evenings will be light and warm—perfect time to share with friends and the world in general and not a good time for taking stock and working hard on the complexities of change. With all that said today I want to begin discussing another key element surrounding change and whether or not one will be successful. That element is your environment.

         Your environment is indeed one of the key components in not only change but also really one’s life. Your environment is the outward expression of your inward self. With that said it seems only logical that the two—the outward environment and the inward self—have a direct effect on each other.

         I believe strongly that all change really begins in the mind. Changing your mind is what will bring success—whereas struggling to change without really changing your mind I believe will only bring immense struggle and eventual failure. However, changing your mind is tricky business and so there are a few things one can do to help the mind along. While one cannot always immediately shift one’s mind one can immediately shift some things in their home or wardrobe, and again, I believe that one’s environment interacts at a potent and intimate level with one’s inner being. The natural question is now “where do I begin?” when considering changing their environment in order to foster and support positive inner change.

         The answer actually lays in your imagination—yes your old daydreamer. Now is the time to pull out the fantasy machine, find a quiet space, set aside around thirty-to-sixty minutes and start visualizing. The first step should be sitting comfortably and really visualizing what you would look like, dress like, live like, and everything that surrounds you from your home to your car to your friends when your dream change was fully realized. If it was to go back to school in order to have a better career what was the result? How do you dress with your better career? What kinds of things do you do for fun with your better job? What does your living space look like and how is your home life? The key here is to become as detailed as you can. If your wished for change was to quit smoking or to lose weight or to become more spiritual, again, really fantasize life with your change fully realized. How is your house decorated when your are forty pounds thinner? What kinds of friends do you have when your are focusing more on your spiritual life? How do you dress now that you do not smoke? The key—key—key is to be as detailed as you can be.

          This visualization exercise is probably one of the most crucial and fun steps towards making a concrete and positive change. Too often before or just when one begins to embark on the journey towards positive change they barrel in with all kinds of environmental changes. However, the problem with that is that it is actually your old self, the self you actually want to change, that is calling the shots. Consequently, change will not be forthcoming because in truth the last time your old self called the shots you found yourself with negative patterns. This seemingly simple (though I assure you profound) exercise can help direct you towards a life that matches your highest potential and your highest joy.

         That is all I have room for today. In Part II of my newest change series “Change and the Environment” I will be taking you from this crucial step of fantasizing your dream life to beginning to do the work as it pertains to your environment.

Drawing a Line Part III

         For the past couple of columns I have been focusing on change. Never will you find a better time of year for it. The weather is lousy, we are all a little broke from the holidays, and the world (at least in our hemisphere) is still sleeping quite soundly. Once, spring rolls around and certainly by summer change is usually far from the mind instead friends, parties, and fun are usually (and quite appropriately I might add) the order of the day. So here we are at the first day of February…now really is the time to “seize the day”…and so I have been discussing “drawing a line in the sand”. Drawing a line in the sand is one of the most crucial aspects of making effective change. There really must be a point in which a person makes a revolution in their mind. While one can always ease into change at a physical level and remain successful I do not believe one can ever ease into change at a mental level. It may very well take some time getting your co-workers on the same page with you as far as wanting to put your family first—the material aspects of change always take time and a lot of trial and error. However, if you do not find your line—find the point where you absolutely decide “that’s it I need to put my family first!” than I assure you change will not be forthcoming. And so my “Drawing a Line” series is less about the material mechanics of change and more about the mental interior aspects of change that I absolutely believe must be present before change can be effective.

         On Monday I talked about how the simple act of marking your calendar can be one of the greatest things you can do to “draw a line”. The calendar should also be used to mark milestones and yes, an end point. On Tuesday I discussed the concept of writing a personal contract with your self and then signing it. Again, by making a contract and then signing it you are sending a serious message up to your heart and mind that you have now said, “that’s it!” And today I am going to discuss one last great thing everyone should do in order to really draw a line….

         Telling friends and family is probably one of the most difficult things a person can do when they draw a line in the sand. Marking a calendar and even signing a contract are things that at some level (though not in the mind) can be tossed out or hidden. However, telling friends and family about your plans takes you to a new level of drawing a line and that is accountability and commitment.

         Oddly though with this last step I do have a few conditions for I feel that more often than not the worst people to tell about your plans are your friends and family. Friends and family do—they do love you—but they also tend to be just as uncomfortable with you changing as you might be with your self changing and more often than not friends and family (because they do not feel the stress of your dead-end job or the pain of those extra twenty pounds) will be extremely reticent towards you changing. People are fundamentally pack animals and like all social animals everyone has a role in the group. The problem with someone wanting to improve themselves is that it usually changes their role—going back to school or taking up kick boxing can do a great deal to one’s self esteem—perhaps causing them to leave their doormat persona, well, at the door. Consequently, when someone changes enough to where their roll or at least their complacency with their current role shifts then the entire group must adjust and sadly in some cases (though they do love you) friends and family will prefer the “old you”.

         My other caution in telling friends and family is: be weary of extra pressure in the beginning. Honestly, one of the most stressful aspects of making a change is the pressure one puts upon their self to succeed. This pressure usually comes in the form of a perpetual inner dialogue that is either a nag, drill sergeant, or a worry wart. My point is that in the beginning a lot goes on in one’s mind and adding the dialogue of friends and family might prove to be too much. The other problem is the “nag factor”. Sometimes friends and family can prove to be too enthusiastic and can become oppressive through nagging, offering up too much advice or being too harsh when you slip—which will happen and is absolutely normal and healthy. In fact sometims a slip can prove positive as it can give you a brief reminder of the "old you" which can become hazy over time. Going to bed with an entire extra large pizza in your belly can get you running back to the gym whereas before you found yourself dragging yourself there.

         With those two cautions I will say that telling friends and family remains a potent way to draw a line. However, I believe that you should be very—very—very—selective and cautious with this activity. Truly pick people that you already have a healthy relationship with. I will write that again because I believe it is absolutely crucial: truly pick people that you already have a healthy relationship with. Secondly, perhaps you might want to pick only one or two people at first. Lastly, it is important to set boundaries for the people you tell before you tell them. To be honest we have merged “drawing a line in the sand” a little with “building a supportive environment for change” which is most definitely a whole other column. For now my main point is that when wanting to make a change really your mind should be the first focus. For one must change their mind above all else. I believe that changing one’s mind begins with drawing a line and it is my hope that some of these suggestions will help.

Drawing a Line Part II

          Today marks yet another column regarding change—or rather making positive changes in your life. I will say again that this time of year, I believe, is one of the best times to really buckle down and build a better you…whether it means to bring more laughter into your life, lose weight, get fit, or return to school in order to finally pursue your dream career. All of these types of changes, however, require great effort. Great effort though does not necessarily have to be fully arduous—for there are things one can do to make change easier, more fun, and most of all permanent because in reality, more often than not positive changes are short lived.

          In yesterday’s column I discussed the importance of “drawing a line in the sand” when it comes to making a change. I truly believe that drawing a line in the sand or making a firm stance regarding what you are about to do is imperative. Though there are most likely many ways one can draw their line and say “no more…today marks the new me” I have decided on the three that I think are really doable and wildly effective. On Monday I wrote about the first one and that is mark your calendar. I believe that the simple act of marking your calendar with a starting date is a great way to really draw a line between the old you and the new you.

         The second great thing one should do before they begin to change their life is to draw up a little contract. Yes, a contract. It does not have to be very complicated. All you have to do is write down what it is you want to achieve and then sign and date it.

         If you look around at every religion, every nation, every sport…they all have many rituals that go along with them. Tennis players shake hands after a match, racecar drivers receive a bath in champagne if they win, and Christians hide eggs and eat ham on Easter. All of these rituals help bind and strengthen the people to the underlying activity, group or philosophy. By taking the time to draw up a contract with yourself and then signing it you are making a ritual out of your commitment to change. And by making a ritual out of you deciding to change your life you will deepen the experience and strengthen your bond between you and what it is your hope to achieve.

         The other great reason to draw up a contract is that is gives you something to hold on to (sometimes for dear life) when the going gets tough. We all know quitting something, adding something, or changing something is extremely difficult. We are creatures of habit, comfort and predictability to be sure. However, this does not me that we are not also good at making great changes—for surely humans are wildly innovative. By having something like a signed contract it can help reconnect you to your wildly innovative side when your need for your old life comes on strong. I have in my life made such contracts, and I will tell you that even looking for the darned thing can be just enough to keep one from snacking—for while I turned my house upside down my thoughts of chips disappeared.

           Lastly, seeing your signed contract can be a moving experience through out all phases of your journey. In the beginning it helps you draw a line in the sand. In the middle it helps your stay committed. And in the end of your journey or at least when your new positive habit or change has become an old, comfortable habit reading your contract can be an amazingly moving experience. I will only say that the swell it brings will be richer and better than simple pride.

           That is all I have room for today. Tomorrow I will be sharing with you my third great way to draw a line.

Drawing A Line Part I

         On Friday I discussed the importance of using a journal as an aid in making any kind of positive new change whether it is quitting smoking, exercising more and losing weight, or finding a better job. There is a baseball season, football season, and for me this is the big season for change. So again, I would like to discuss a few more things that I believe should be present (like a journal) if one really wants their new life to take hold.

         Drawing a line in the sand…. There are three great things that everyone should have in place before they seriously embark on a changing journey. I say journey because in truth making a lifestyle change whether it means adopting a new habit or leaving one behind will take time and it will take you very—very—far away from the person you now are. This can become not only stressful but also a little frightening and you may very well have days where you barely recognize yourself. With all that being said “drawing a line in the sand” is a great way to commence—it will help put you in a good mindset that hopefully will support you during your leaner times of resolve. Essentially, there are three major aspects that I believe are integral when wants to draw a line in the sand.

         The first way is to have an absolute start date and if possible make milestone dates in which you give your self some type of reward. It is also helpful for many to actually have an end date (which can always be renewed at the end…I’ll explain). A calendar is actually one of your greatest positive change tools. When you commence any type of change I believe having an absolute set date is invaluable…and really I think it is good to give yourself a week or two before you begin…so you can see the date, think about the date and really get yourself excited. Also, quite frankly, it gives you a chance to acquire some real closure with your old self and lifestyle—because even though you seek to change—there will be a deeper sense of loss that perhaps you would imagine. Secondly, you should mark little milestones on your calendar with a little reward written underneath. This will help as time drags on…which leads to my last calendar marking and that is an end date—yes—an end date. It seems strange that one would want an end date when one hopes the lifestyle change will be permanent, however, I have found that giving yourself an endpoint can be easier to mentally handle—meaning you have succeeded if you manage to exercise and hour a day for twelve weeks versus trying to deal with the whole of your life. The truth is that if you did exercise for twelve weeks straight—I assure you it would have become a habit. A new twelve-week period can begin a week or so again after your old one, but in general I find it better to give yourself a “mental finish line”.

         Well that is all I have room for today, tomorrow I will be continuing my discussion of “drawing a line in the sand”.

A Good First Step

           It is hard to believe that the holidays have come and gone and now it is time to just live a little. However, what often makes this time of year more intense and perhaps even dramatic than one might suppose is the want for change. For many—myself included—this is the time of year in which we give it our all in fulfilling and New Year’s resolutions. As someone who not only is in full search mode for the Champagne Life but as taken on the challenge to bring people with me via my column I must say that this is my “big season” with spring being the explosive finale. All in all I suppose my point is that when it comes to change and self-improvement I am a true veteran…and a true believer.

         Now with all of that said I will state flat out that change can be extremely stressful—so much so that after a few weeks one can find themselves screaming back to their old lives. The problem is that when one is in the early phases of change a great deal of distortions can arise. One can quickly forget why they wanted to change or how burned-out they had become by an old habit or lifestyle. Another distortion is what I call piling up the negatives. A new habit like daily exercise might after awhile prove to be very stressful particularly when you really start feeling the time it uses up. However, there might be other great things your new daily exercise habit brings as well like more energy and better sleep (which might, by the way, end up giving you more time). What often happens though is that during a moment or even a period of extra stress or frustration one can begin to focus only on the negative and be unable to see or recall the positives and the balance between the two. There is a way, however, to avoid or at least lessen the problem of distortion and that is keeping a journal.

           Keeping a journal could be and should be an amazing life habit in and of itself and I cannot stress to you all enough the goodness that comes from keeping a daily journal. Today though I would like to impress upon you one of the great things a daily journal can do for you and that is keeping honest. Yes honest. Too often it is distortion that sabotages us any time when want to make a difficult or significant change in our life. Particularly when “the going gets rough” for it is at that point we fog our memory and began to think our old ways were not so bad as well as delude ourselves into only seeing complications and negativity surrounding our new lifestyle choices. Keeping a daily journal and then re-reading our entries as we go along is a way to keep in touch with the reality of the situation: for on Friday you may feel that eating a lighter dinner feels like a punishment…but you read your own words stating just the week before how you have not felt this young and filled with energy in the evening in years…bringing very—very good results at bedtime. By keeping a daily journal you can genuinely see change for what it really is and you can also remain connected to the reasons why you wanted to change in the first place.

          So for all my beloved sailors and patrons today it is my heartiest recommendation that you all go out and get yourself a journal. It really is important that you make an entry—no matter how brief—every day. I say every day because that really is your best chance at making it part of your daily rhythm like brushing your teeth. Personally, I like a little spiral notebook found everywhere, and I believe it is good to pick a journal that is small or convenient enough to take with you everywhere you go. It can then be used to inspire you at any time or to write at any where you may be, which can be unbelievably soothing during a stressful moment.

The Winter Issue Is Here!

           Finally…The Better Drink’s Winter Issue is done and boy am I tired…. It seems perfect that as I write my introductory column the weather is cold and snowy. A good snow though, with large flakes and little wind so the trees remain heavily covered with the white stuff. Winter is a strange time…. It can be restless, cozy, fatiguing (depending on how much snow you had to shovel or how bad your commute is), beautiful, and a great time for making changes for a butterfly-like unveiling in spring. It is my hope that this newest Winter Issue will be of help in all aspects of winter so during these days of early, chilly nights and roads unsafe to traverse I implore you to throw in a thick sweater, some great slippers, pop a cork of some good bubbly and enjoy the mag.

           Our sparkling wine section is a little different this time in that our Interview and Feature are not about sparkling wine—rather a great, historical American wine region in Ohio. John Euclid returns as our intrepid sparkling wine reviewer trying out “new wines from new places”. For the first time we had a co-author (alongside Dr. Timothy Smith) in our Arts & Sciences section. Dr. John Curtis is an esteemed entomologist. Together both scientists explain Phylloxera—the potent vineyard pest.

            Our First Person section is again, amazing and perfect winter reading. Rebecca Uhlhorn and J. Blake Gordon return to The Better Drink with fantastic “Hellos” and “Goodbyes”—both pieces are stunningly honest and entertaining. My very own co-founder Dr. Timothy Smith is the writer of this issue’s Passion Forum. He writes the story behind his long-time love for rivers. In our “Under the Goldlight—true tales of drinking champagne” we all get treated to an amazing tour of New Orleans during Mardi gras. Finally, David Sirois shares his memories of favorite presents over the years in our “Life Before Ten” column. These are all great essays and I implore you to check them all out!

            Our Art & Literature section for this issue is fantastic and I am proud to introduce two new writers to The Better Drink. LaVonne Schoneman is a prolific and award winning writer from the Northwest and is this issue’s featured poet. Becky Mate is also an award-winning author and is based in California. Becky is the writer of this issue’s fiction. Her story is not only entertaining but also interesting from a literary point of view. For this issue’s art show in our Marcia Reed Virtual Gallery I am honored and excited to have Gilles Mascarell back with some of his newest works. Again, the works are amazing, and I really implore you to take a little time away and “stroll” through the gallery. Gilles Mascarell’s work is also the cover art for this issue. For our Film in Review section I am excited and proud to announce that Anna Luciano has been hired to be our very first official movie reviewer and will be the magazine’s only reviewer of new theater releases. Anna has worked hard for us at The Better Drink since the magazine’s infancy, and I am completely excited to have such a gifted and energetic writer to be our reviewer. Don’t go to the movies without seeing what she has to say…for underneath that gorgeous exterior is a very alert and critical mind! As for those nights when we want to stay in Fritz Voigt returns with a new DVD release review and our very own wine reviewer John Euclid shares with us a great flick to rent when all the new releases are picked clean.

            I want to first say thank you to all of contributors of the Winter Issue. Last night before the magazine was sent out I went through and read the magazine “cover to cover” and found myself not only entertained but also touched by all of the writers’ honesty and integrity to their craft. I felt so honored to be publishing their work and to have built along with Dr. Timothy Smith a venue for writing and writers that has not been ultra processed and pasteurized for mass consumption. I also would like to thank all of our loyal readers. The Better Drink has grown and continues to grow due absolutely to such great reader support. We are a tiny operation and have little time or money to invest in promotion and yet our readership continues to expand—this I know is due to amazing contributors and very loyal readers—so I thank you.

            Lastly, I would like to thank Dr. Timothy Smith for not only all of his hard work and dedication but also all of the great emotional support he lent me as I struggled with a very ill loved one over the Holiday season. In truth, the Winter Issue would not had made it out if it were not for Tim’s gentle (and lighthearted) prodding and bribes of amazing wine—if only I would put on a little lipstick and get back to work. And was I ever glad he did—this is one of our best issues yet, and as I read through all of the essays and put together all of the art—I found myself upbeat and in the moment and farther from my loved one’s sickness than I had been in nearly a month. So, genuinely believe me when I say take this issue for a spin any time you need a little good soul food.

             For all my Daily Column fans I thank you for your patience and continued support, as I was unable to pen my usual amount of columns over the holidays. I plan on returning, full steam, to my column this season. The adventure begins Friday, January 27 th…so definitely (if you have not already) come and join me as I set sail prepared to face whatever comes my way in my search for the Champagne Life.

Happy winter everyone…enjoy the newest issue….

Jennifer Barnick, Editor