It Began with a Laugh from Behind (8/3/04 No. 27)

 

 

            Normally the books I write about I heartily encourage you to read, however, with this one I simply dare you.   In a fit of emptiness I pulled out a yet-to-be read book from my motley library.   It was The Fall by Albert Camus.   It was a charming copy…paperback from the fifties…with cover art not unlike my countless record albums from the fifties.   The pages were thick and yellowed and stiff, yet still amazingly pristine.   It was not a book read by many.

            My library is overwhelmed with unread books due partly to my optimism, partly to my fondness for used books, and partly to my fondness for gents who read.   And this never read book, a book that no doubt blinked at me for over ten years was not mine, but rather a lover's.   Funny thing about keeping a library is that over time it evolves beyond its curator, and my library is no exception.   Borrowed books of friends, books given as gifts, and yes, abandoned books of lovers line my shelves almost as convincingly as my own choice picks.

            Books from lovers are curious (and a little dangerous) because they deliver three stories all at once.   And now as I pen this rather drawn-out introduction I sense Camus' leaden truffle of a novel (short and heavy—I devoured it in two hours—yet most likely will not digest it until the Fall of next year).   I sense that my lover had been digesting more than our complicated relationship—for I asked and he answered that he, in fact, had read The Fall as a young man.   And I sense my lover as wholly apart—as just a young man and not my anything (for he had read it before he had met me).

            Then, I must admit, after those three stories drifts in one more.   I sense my own self as separate left to tread the whole above mentioned mess alone.   And this, my dearest patrons and sailors is what a really brilliant Frenchman can do to you!   (As for you gents, I assure you you are not so safe…Albert Camus spares neither the tender-footed nor the broad shouldered!)

            Judgment.   Judgment.   Judgment…as one glides merrily along being as good and proper as one can, eating all our vegetables and keeping from vice, thinking (maybe even knowing) we are surely well on our way to realizing The Champagne Life….   Then one night we overhear a small cluster of souls chatter and laugh all at the expense of the eves-dropper, and all in one moment we realize that others are not only not seeing our nearly-enlightened status they are mocking our (no doubt) earnest efforts.   In short, Camus suggests in The Fall that no one is really going to love us as we love ourselves, and this phenomenon causes the world much grief.   Camus posits that judgment is humanity's addiction, jailor, and leading cause of one's eventual downfall.   And mind you, Camus manages to water your mental garden with this idea with such grace, sincerity, and genuine engrossing entertainment that one finishes the book with a subtle knowing (and later, a not so subtle knowing) that one will most likely see dawn.

            Camus does leave us with a tiny crumb of hope or at least relief, and that crumb is regret.   Yes, really, regret.   Not a bitter regret caused by misfortune, however, but a sincere wish that one could have done differently.   And it is within this regret that one feels the grace of remorse…ahhh, grace…finally.   You see, Camus offers up a world driven so feverishly on judgment and self-preservation that after awhile one feels rather cold (frightened even), yet in the end, not even Camus can hang on to this rope wholly.   For our over-cooked hero (or anti-hero—it's a tough call) leaves us with an admonition of regret—of remorse.   I do not really understand or know how to explain this, but through the whole process (or novel, I should say) his simple mention of true remorse felt like a sweet drop of rain on the tongue.

            Can we stop judging others? (I do not know.)  Is remorse a way to withstand this human bane that judgment inflicts? (Yes, well at least at this time of the night.)   And how healthy is self-cherishing? (This is cause for consideration.)   And furthermore, is reading lover's books—dear and frighteningly heavy—a suggested summertime activity? (Yes, absolutely.)

 

Tomorrow we release the new Vacation Issue!

 

 

Champagne Thighs(Spring '05)

 

         Today I want to begin what will be an ongoing series in which I talk about health and fitness. For the most part, the primary emphasis of my research has dealt with the mind and the spirit (with some comical interludes in-between). However, part of living the Champagne Life is having a champagne body. Personally, I am an avid exerciser. I have been extremely active throughout my life beginning with ballet at five (dance would continue until I was nineteen) and several other competitive sports throughout. Nowadays I do not play any competitive sports nor am I studying dance, however, I do work very hard to retain the body that did for many years. Exercise for me is my Prozac and Valium and Ecstasy all in one. A good long run will do more for me than any drug or rant. Besides stress relief I have found that regular exercise fills me with energy and I believe makes my love life profoundly more enjoyable. In short, having a strong healthy life is really a great deal of fun, and I strongly feel that without a vibrant and hearty vessel one will have great difficulty crossing some of the rougher channels of life…which is surely an integral part of searching for the Champagne Life.

         With all that said one of the best ways to get into working out or to put some new steps into your current workout is through exercise videos. My favorite workout with weights is still based on a great weightlifting video I purchased over eight years ago. I personally have several workout videos and I love them because, quite frankly, I hate the gym. However, I do believe that a good workout should be designed by a professional trainer, hence, a good video can be invaluable. Today I will be reviewing Anna Kournikova’s (the sex-pot tennis star) “Basic Elements: My Complete Fitness Guide”.

         I want to first say that this video should only be rented (or purchased…but I usually like to rent a video before purchasing) by two types of people: beginners or people who have fallen off the fitness wagon and athletes or people who are very, very fit. This tape is absolutely not recommended for beginners, however, I found it to be very inspirational to see such an incredible physique (Anna K.) perform such incredible feats. For the athlete or someone who has worked out regularly for some time this tape offers a very high level of intensity. In fact, throughout the tape most of Anna’s references are geared towards the aspiring athlete and not for a person looking to tame their beer belly and thighs. To put it in perspective, I work out around two hours a day with a combination of cardio, endurance, and strength training and yet, some of her routines I found to be outrageously painful. However, I also found that the challenges in her exercises gave me a renewed sense of “personal best-hood” and I was inspired to take my fitness to an even higher level…so for those of you in workout doldrums this may just be the right tape for you. The body can hit workout “plateaus” just like all dieters know the body can with losing weight. This is a good video to check out when one’s fitness level appears to have leveled off. It is also important to note that this is not a video meant to be watched and followed along. She provides several routines to be learned then executed independently from the video (unlike several other workout videos or DVDs).

         Ms. Kournikova claims that her workout requires very little equipment and would be good for someone who travels a great deal. This is plainly not true. Almost all of her exercises require some type of equipment and I hardly doubt one would want to travel with weights, a giant balance ball, a medicine ball, a workout partner, a rope ladder, and a large block. Another downside to this tape is that she does not properly take you through the technique. This is particularly troublesome during her strengthening routine with weights. Weight lifting routines should never ever be used without proper instruction, as the risk for injury is very high. Also, I want to stress again that another downside to this video is that it really was designed for the athlete, and I strongly suggest that the beginner does not attempt to begin with her routine. Her warm-up exercises would be for most a complete aerobic workout…not a prelude for a workout.

         The positive side of her workout was her medicine ball routine (which really was outrageously intense and fun), her work with simple pylons, and her emphasis on taking strength and cardio to the next level: power. The medicine ball routine is one of the better ones I have seen on video and requires a partner, but I find workouts that require a partner to be very fun and a great way to revive an old fitness regime. Again, I stress do not attempt these exercises until you have done some regular strength and cardio training as I believe serious injury might result. However, this is one of the reasons I really liked this tape Anna takes you beyond strength and cardio training and presents exercises that develop power and agility, and I believe someone who has been working out for awhile would find this stage of fitness to be very rewarding.

         Above all I found the tape to be inspiring. To see an athlete’s physique in action is beautiful (particularly in Ms. Kournikova’s case), and I definitely found that after watching the tape I wanted to hopefully catch just a little of the magic for myself…and perhaps putting myself through an hour of “Anna’s Torture with Pylons” will put a little Kournikova pixie dust on my legs.

 

 

The Hierophant

 

         Today marks my sixth installment of my ongoing series covering the Tarot deck. (To link backwards through the entire series click here.) The card I am going to write about today is number 5 The Hierophant or (as it is also referred to as The Pope). This card is a somewhat controversial card in that few cards have so many interpretations. The conflict, however, for someone who has taken up a thorough study lies more in modern views of religion and misinformation than any actual controversy. In truth, The Hierophant has not seen its meaning change, however, many new, inexpensive Tarot books and how-to manuals seem to butcher the meaning of this card more than the others and the usual root of the definitional carnage is do to its obvious church reference which for most New Age, would be Tarot goers is viewed in a derogatory light. However, to maim the meaning of this card (or any of the cards—especially the major arcana) would ruin the profound and elegant logic of the deck for as I had written earlier the truth behind the deck is that it is a book of wisdom meant to guide and illustrate the phases of development through one’s life with the idea or ideal that the meaning of one’s life is to become fully enlightened. As one progresses through their lives they will find they will repeat the cycle many times over, however, each rotation or cycle becomes a little more profound and advanced. Consequently, every card has several layers of meaning—with all of the meanings depending on the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual level of the aspirant. As a divination tool the cards were meant as an aid and not a fortuneteller. The cards can help someone work out personal issues and dilemmas and should be interwoven with one’s own soul searching and should not be ever seen as an oracle that should be blindly followed for the cards are states of mind and being and are meant to help you become a master of your own states regardless of the physical world around you.

         The Hierophant or Pope rarely ever represents a person in a reading; it does very often, however, help to define the person whom the reading is about or the person the Querent (the person asking the cards a question) is asking about. The Pope can also signify marriage or a profound spiritual alliance. When describing a person it represents teaching and inspiration. Union and leadership would be two good words to remember when thinking of this card. Unfortunately, in many new Tarot books I am seeing that writers are simply responding to their current discomfort with the church and writing that The Pope represents “society’s rigid judgments and expectations”. However, nothing could be further from the truth. “Divine Presence as a Voice” (taken from the classic “The Tarot” by Dr. Paul Foster Case) is the state the card The Pope is representing or to put it in another way “Something seemed to say to me”. The Pope represents the state in which our intuition (and mind) is open to the universe and is able to receive wise instruction. This card also signifies not only an ability to receive wisdom from “above” or “without” is also signifies an ability to teach what one has personally discovered. Jesus, Samuel and Elijah are three biblical examples of humans that were living embodiments of this card. This is not to say that what they espoused is true for everyone, but it is to say that what they taught was based on profound insight and deeply felt. However, it also implies that The Pope is on a mission and spreading true wisdom is at the heart of this card.

         Marriage and spiritual union are connected to this card because of the idea written above: when one opens their heart and mind up to the universe (or god—however you are comfortable) then wisdom or divine intelligence can enter; allowing a person to teach and inspire others (which could be seen as the “fruit” of the exchange). Likewise, when a man or woman opens up to another an exchange of wisdom can be had—a spark of universal intelligence and wonder—and the “fruits” of this union can be children or in a platonic union the “fruits” could be a cure for cancer (as in the case with a creative collaboration).

         The Hierophant is a card for the intersection of intuition and wisdom. It is a call to develop and to finely discern one’s inner voice. We all have an inner voice and while there is some debate regarding the origin of this voice (meaning: does it come from within or without) the real essence is to develop intuitive wisdom. Life has many unknowns and is actually forged from change—from evolution. Consequently, we humans are very often in situations where reason alone will not be effective. Sometimes risks and the trusting of our instincts are the only tools available to us. The Pope informs us to open up our hearts and minds to the universe with a promise that in union we humans can receive great intelligence and if we develop wisdom we will then know how to utilize our intuition. It is this idea of developing one’s wisdom in order for us to utilize intuition that is behind the image of The Pope. For true intuitive wisdom comes to those who seek and cultivate it and while all of us experiences the spontaneous “spark” or flash of profound insight now and again the lesson of The Hierophant is not to wholly depend on occasional bouts of insight but to strive and seek wisdom throughout one’s life—to actually make intuitive wisdom the work of one’s life.

 

“You don’t understand…it won’t work…”

Part III

How Accurate Is Your Critical Parent?

 

 

         Today marks my final column as part of a three part series dealing with negative self-talk or one’s inner critical parent and how this harsh or negative inner dialogue can sabotage you being happy and living the Champagne Life. On Thursday and Friday I talked about how essentially our lives are the fruit of our decisions. Our decisions are fruits of our heart and mind; consequently whatever rules our heart and mind eventually will produce our reality. Everybody to some extent has an inner critical parent. This rolling negative commentary that questions our talents, willpower, and worth was given to us by many people throughout our lives. Negative criticism or harsh judgment is actually a product of another’s negative inner dialogue and not necessarily reality: meaning people’s negative “tapes” often run rampant when they are frightened or stressed this constant loop of negativity coupled with stress requires some type of outlet, consequently, people often then externalize or project their negative inner dialogue or negative tapes onto another person. This person could be their spouse, their child, their employee—anyone—but the main issue is that more often than not harsh criticism or judgment has nothing to do with constructive criticism or caring and everything to do with pushing one unhealthy phenomenon (a negative inner tape) onto another…and here a very destructive and vicious cycle commences…with often generations suffering from outdated, unneeded, completely inaccurate bitter inner parents that were unhappy hundreds of years ago. And yet their inner negative tapes live on….

         One of the most common responses I find when I challenge someone’s negative self-talk or inner critical parent is that somehow without this harsh internal parent they would in fact go completely wild: they would gain a thousand pounds, never show up for work on time, or ever save their money. There is this belief that a hardy negative inner dialogue will somehow produce a perfect little boy or girl. However, in reality all it produces is a neurotic and limited little boy or girl and in truth a person with a positive and compassionate worldview will absolutely be more capable of not only weathering the storms of life, but will most likely be able to forge a life not based on fear (which is the life one leads following their critical parent) but a life based on their most cherished dreams.

         One of the main problems with the inner critical parent is that it is never accurate—in fact it is always limiting and fostering of delusion. In a terrific book entitled “Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment…A Way To Be Fully Together Without Giving Up Yourself” by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D., and Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D, the husband and wife counseling team sighted a classic case of how one’s negative inner dialogue (which produces negative beliefs) can absolutely blind one to the reality of the situation. It was a husband and wife who were struggling and one of the complaints made by the husband was that his wife never complimented him on anything—that she never said anything really positive or nice about him—and this he felt was killing his ability to be with her for he felt like she didn’t see any worth or goodness in him. The wife argued constantly that she did in fact compliment him…all the time…and that she was tired of constantly having to battle his low self-esteem. The doctors decided to have one of their counseling sessions video taped and what the husband found was astonishing. Before viewing the tape the husband was asked what he thought would be revealed in the tape and with utter honesty he felt he once and for all would be vindicated: his wife could finally see just how cold and non-supportive she really was. What happened absolutely shocked the husband: for throughout the counseling session his wife was constantly complimenting him and trying to build him up, and yet because his negative inner dialogue was so strong and because this inner critical parent had forged strong negative belief patterns it literally affected his ability to perceive accurately his reality. Every time his wife would compliment him or say something nice his inner critical parent would block it out and he genuinely would not be able to hear or recognized her positive comments. This might seem like an uncommon or particularly extreme example, however, it is not. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on one’s inner self-talk our perceptions of the world around us and our beliefs are really nothing more than that: our perceptions based on what rules our heart and our mind.

         There is nothing accurate or wise to one’s inner critical parent. In fact this negative self-talk will blind and delude you into a negative belief system and a negative perception of the world. Putting yourself down will not make you wise or strong rather it will cause you to eventually project your harsh judgments and criticisms onto others fostering negative and tense personal relationships. All in all that negative self-talk is not just a little problem that affects just your ability to like what you see in the mirror—eventually these negative inner tapes forge belief systems that forge decisions that forge a life—all based on an inaccurate and blind understanding of reality.

         Negative self-talk can be, however, rooted out. The first step is to become aware of it. Genuinely begin to notice who often your little inner critical parent puts you down or questions your worth or tells you that you will not be able to achieve something. Next, say “stop”. Yes, simply say, “stop”. Whenever your little negative tape begins to play say “STOP”. Believe it or not with some effort and consistency this will slowly remove your negative parent. As time goes on after one says, “stop” then one should say or envision a positive statement or image. Say you are thinking about going back to school and getting your M.B.A…. However, you inner critical parent tells you cannot do it…not enough money…too difficult…you’re too old…all of the things inner critical parents like to say. After you say, “stop” to each of the negative points then envision you at graduation receiving your diploma. With consistency I assure you a very humiliated inner critical parent will be sitting on the sidelines watching you pick up your degree.

         It really is that simple, and your negative self-talk really is that destructive. The Champagne Life absolutely is about taking charge of one’s life, however, this cannot be achieved until one takes charge of one’s heart and mind…and kicks that inner critical parent out of their mind.

 

 

“You don’t understand…it won’t work…”

Part II

The Dream Unraveler

 

         In yesterday’s column I opened up my discussion regarding one’s negative inner dialogue and the problems it can cause. I also wrote about the origin of one’s negative inner tapes which psychologists also call “one’s inner critical parent”. This negative self-talk or critical parent is formed from years of people in our lives putting us down, telling us or making us feel that we have questionable, little, or no worth, and so forth. In truth, we humans are incredibly valuable and making mistakes is the primary route towards invention and evolution. When we trust our negative self-talk we are simply trusting other people’s negative self-talk: meaning when people put you down or are harshly judgmental they are in fact playing their negative tapes to you. Constructive criticism or advice is not harsh and does not put a person down rather it is solution centered and builds a person up. This brings us to the discussion I want to open up today, and that is the way our inner negative tapes can unravel even our dreams, and on Monday I will write about the accuracy of this critical inner parent.

         The other day I was with a friend and she was going through a difficult time. She felt like her life had not begun and yet she was exhausted from her life that had not yet begun. She first said something that gave me anguish…she told me that she did not even have a dream anymore. I suggested that perhaps she didn’t professionally, but she most likely had fantasies of who and what and how she wanted to live (including romantically). I then asked her to share with me some of her favorite daydreams. And what happened next is actually what inspired me to write this column series: every time she would give me a detail regarding her “Dream Life”…her vision of the Champagne Life…she would knock it down with some type of negative phrasing like “but that’s so stupid…”it’ll never happen” or “I know I’ll never make that kind of money and have a life too”. Essentially, for everything she envisioned that she wanted she had a pre-recorded tape she played in order to shoot her dream down.

         I will begin by saying that this issue is grave. Everything—everything in your life—in this universe—begins with a dream. Everything in your life began in your mind. Now you can say that there have been many events in your life that profoundly affected you and the course of your life in which you had nothing to do with, however, all our lives really are are our decisions. If you look all around your home, your personal and professional life you will see the fruit of all your decisions up to the present, and your life ten years from now will be the culmination of the decisions you make from now until then. Hence, whatever we build or occupy in our hearts and minds is what will ultimately dictate our decisions. So, when I beg, insist, and plea with you, my most beloved Sailors and Patrons, build a strong and hearty inner picture of your Dream Life I mean it in earnest: for it is your only real way of being a conscious creator. For I tell you that we all create our lives, however, only Champagne Lifers create lives consciously. That inner picture of your Dream Life will help dictate the decisions you make which will in time bare the fruit of material reality.

         So, when I heard my friend even allowing her critical parent to tear apart her daydream…even her romantically themed daydream (meaning her ideal mate, ideal home, and ideal lifestyle versus a daydream regarding her ideal job or occupation—which in truth it is important to note that both types of daydreams are potent and profound and even the type of clothes you wear in a romantic fantasy tells you and your psyche a great deal about the type of life you want to build). She would comment on the type of person she was with romantically but then would say that that person does not exist or that she was too “fat” to find a mate like that. She would comment that she could never find a job that both paid enough money to support her Dream Life and allowed her the time and freedom to have fun. In truth, anything and everything is possible. Dream mates always appear when we finally want to put one in our lives. However, if we constantly listen to our inner critical parent that says we could never have such a mate than we will live that negative dream—that reality—because our lives really obediently follow our minds. Again, if we allow inner negative tapes tell us constantly that one has to make a choice between material abundance OR a playful happy lifestyle than we will mimic that belief: we will feel that our jobs are drudgery and act as though it is too overwhelming to fit in fun and leisure with said job or we will pick jobs that are far too underpaid and we use the excuse that a more challenging job will “bring us down” or make “life all about work”. In truth, I have observed the opposite: when people are genuinely challenged and finely compensated they feel rejuvenated and energized—and having a sense of confidence and energy that only serves to improve the other aspects of their lives outside of their work.

         For the weekend it is my suggestion for all of my Sailors and Patrons (and your weary explorer too) to really monitor your inner critical parent. You will be amazed how much and how often you allow little jabs and snipes to affect your mood, dreams, and decisions. For the weekend, however, I really want you to focus on weeding out the inner negative dialogue from your daydreams. I cannot stress to you enough the importance of these fantasies. The dreams you build in your mind will help shape the life you lead. Allowing your critical parent to punch you down even in the dream process of creation can bring devastating results. A quick “no” or “stop” to any beginnings of negative self-talk can usually help diminish the dialogue and over time it can pluck out the inner critical parent all together—which is one of the goals of true enlightenment—for really all those negative tapes are the same negative tapes that have been passed on generation to generation and have no real basis in reality…and this leads us to our final discussion: the accuracy of the inner critical parent which I shall be writing about on Monday.

         Have a great weekend! See you on Monday.

 

“You don’t understand…it won’t work…”

Part I

The Negative Hand-off

         Today I want to talk about one of the most detrimental mental phenomenon we have: and that is negative self-talk. Inner berating is more often than not mistaken for encouragement. This inner “critical parent” is a product of all the people in our lives who have made a point to tell us how we screwed up, how we are somehow inadequate, or how we are fundamentally not good enough. Over time these outer critics form “tapes” in our minds and if these tapes are left unquestioned or checked then they will replay over and over—very often without the conscious awareness of the person. In fact, most people encourage and welcome these inner critical parents thinking that harsh criticism will get them motivated to change or improve. However, in truth all the inner tapes are are just that—old, crummy tapes of people who most likely put you down because they were operating under the duress of old crummy tapes. Also, while it is this writer’s conviction (as well as many others) that anything achieved must first be dreamt, it is astonishing how many (including myself) allow these inner tapes negative tapes to run rampant over even our day dreams—which in turn pre-plans or sets up our defeat. Our negative arguments have no more “accuracy” than positive ones, and I will be discussing these along with the other abovementioned issues regarding our negative inner dialogues.

         In truth all the inner tapes are just that—old, crummy tapes of people who most likely put you down because they were operating under the duress of old crummy tapes…. The harsh inner parent that tells you “you can’t”, “you’re lazy”, “you’re dumb”, “it won’t work”, “it’s foolish”, “you’re too fat”, or any other criticism was created by several people in your life. Over time all these criticisms form tapes in your brain and run automatically when doubtful or stressful situations arise, and sadly the more stressed one becomes the more rampant their harsh parents berating becomes. In truth, harsh put-downs or criticisms are formed when people become stressed and become victims of their own negative inner tapes. This causes a parent or other adult or even a peer to project their own fears and anxiety outwards and they in turn pass on their negative tapes to you. What this all says though, is that these tapes could not be further from reality—they are simply one fear-induced catastrophe-fantasy passed on to another—they are also pain passed on to another and not (as harsh criticism is so often mistaken) actual helpful advice. In truth, every person and situation is unique and often our struggles are our roads towards growth and enlightenment. Truly loving and helpful advice carries profoundly different qualities. First off, helpful advice does not come unless it is asked for. Secondly, helpful advice does not involve judgment or put the person down in anyway. And lastly helpful advice understands that hardships are profound opportunities and that while they can by their nature be trying or even painful they are in fact roads for greatness and immense personal satisfaction in our lives. If one understands this quality then one has the sense that people are inherently good and drawn towards enlightenment—versus the critical parent that claims bad things happen to bad people and that bad people should focus on the fact they are bad and somehow keeping one’s focus on “being bad” a solution to the problem will be had—in which nothing could be further from the truth. In truth, only focusing on a solution will bring about a solution and only focusing on being bad will bring a state of either being bad or believing one is bad. My point is that the tapes we re-play over and over are products of other people at the mercy of their inner tapes playing over and over and what we more often than not justify as “helping people (or oneself)” is really a transference of stress-induced negativity and has nothing to do with the reality of good and bad and self-growth. This also suggests the delusional quality of harsh criticism both externally as in the form of someone putting another person down and internally as in the form of inner negative dialogue—in both cases the truth is that an unconscious or reactionary activity is at the root and not as in the case with genuinely positive advice or assistance or productive inner dialogue when one is not running on old tapes but active, in the moment thinking. These old tapes are in most families and at a larger level in one’s culture based on events that no longer have any relevance or meaning and actually are really only signs of stress or insecurity. In fact, when a person is harshly criticizing or shaming you they are at that point so numbed out—so in a trance—and so delusional that they are no longer engaged with you are their surroundings. All they are engaged with are old tapes running through their brain that were recorded off of other people’s old tapes that were running through their brain and this bane runs and repeats through not only family generations but also whole nations and cultures, and if one really takes a step back all they are is the fruit of un-checked stress and an inability to stay focused in the present when things become uncomfortable—with sadly everybody mistaking them for real-live commentary and advice.

         That is all I have room for today. Tomorrow I want to talk about two other issues surrounding one’s inner critical parent and that is how we allow tapes to interfere with our dreams—leading to a “dreamt defeat”—which ultimately becomes our reality. And I want to discuss the “accuracy” of these negative inner tapes

 

 

Wednesday Cards

 

         Socrates was a big proponent of divination, and so, dear readers, am I. His reasoning was thus: A man can find and marry a beautiful woman with every fine quality imaginable—this is Reason. However, a man cannot know whether or not he will have a happy life and marriage with said woman—this is Fate (an only the gods know situation). Socrates strongly believed that man should employ both tactics—reason and divination—if one wants to live a successful and productive life. Conversely, however, as Socrates warned against the conceit of acting on pure reason, he had a similar warning regarding divination. Socrates had sharp words for those who use divination when reason should be employed. In other words, do not bother the gods with things you can handle on your own.

         Today, for my column I have decided to act as High Priestess and do a little divination for everyone. I am going to use the Tarot cards for my reading. And while I in no way claim the title of Adept, I will say that I have been reading cards for over nine years and within that time I believe I have at least gained some insight. The Tarot consists of 78 cards. Twenty-two of them are called the Major Arcana cards. The remaining 56 are the Minor Arcana cards. The Major Arcana cards are both numbered (0-21) and titled: the Fool, the Empress, the Lovers, Death, etc. These cards are essentially the major life lessons that one must undergo in order to attain complete enlightenment. In a reading they usually signify the deeper significance to any one event. The Minor Arcana are much like normal playing cards. Like playing cards they are divided into four suits: Wands (clubs), Cups (Hearts), Swords (Spades) and Pentacles (Diamonds). And like playing cards each suit has court cards: King, Queen, Knight, and with the Tarot there is an additional card: the Page, which is the card for children, unmarried women (usually under 30) and for communication (letters, telephones calls visits etc…).

         While the history of the Tarot is still quite obscure a few things are known about it. It originated thousands of years ago and is directly related to a system of theosophy known as the Quabbalah (yes, that Quabblalah—Madonna’s Quabbalah). The Quabbalah is the name of the Jewish oral tradition or esoteric doctrine. Many people also believe that the Tarot perhaps has shared roots with the I-Ching or Book of Changes, which is the ancient Chinese oracle. The first known decks that are in their current form emerged in Italy around the fourteenth century and were used in a game called Tarocci. In fact, today Italian playing cards still use the symbols of Wands, Cups, Swords, and Pentacles verses the clubs, hearts, spades, and diamonds of American playing cards. The French word for Tarocci is Tarot and there we get the Tarot cards.

         My question: “What lesson or advice do all who read my column on Wednesday, July 6, 2005 need?”

         The answer: The Three of Cups, Page of Pentacles, The Four of Swords, and The Sun.

         Right off I will say that today is a party day…or at the very least a day in which fun should be had. The Three of Cups is essentially the party card or the love card for groups. This card signifies a great time had by friends. It can also mean other group activities, such as ones at work, will also have a convivial and light atmosphere today. The Three of Cups sits right next to the Page of Pentacles which tells me that today is definitely a good day to ask your friends and co-workers what they think about things—sometimes it is good not to ask for advice—however, today it is a good day to ask for advice. The Page of Pentacles for grown-ups represents study or embarking on study. It has a tone of query to it, and seeing it right next to the Three of Cups and right before the Four of Swords it is my suggestion that not only will people today be in the mood to listen to you thoughtfully with a good-hearted compassion their advice will bring peace and calm to a previously worrisome affair.

         The Four of Swords is rest after strife. This tells me two things: that advice or help sought from the group whether at work, or with family, or with friends will be genuine and kind, but also will bring peace to your heart. In addition to peace or relief from strife this advice will be accurate and wise for the final card is the Sun. To have the Sun in the same reading as the Three of Cups is to say conversations will be fun, intense, and lively today amongst groups. The Sun is the only major arcana which signals itself to be the key or leading card. The Sun is the card for a great meeting of the minds and for great intellectual clarity. The clarity of The Sun is life giving, joyous, and intense in both its wisdom and accuracy. To have the Sun’s energy in your day’s cards is a great thing, however, “a great meeting of the minds” is one of the Sun’s meanings (it can also be an enlightenment moment for an individual), and seeing it follow the Three of Cups I will say that the clarity and wisdom will be discovered when one comes together with others.

         So, my advice for today is to reach out to friends, co-workers, and family and open up. People will be in the mood to help you with your problems and will not be in any way harsh or ill spirited. Also note that the advice you receive and the issues you work out with a team (instead of alone) will not only bring calm to what was a strife-filled situation it will also bring on a great sense of clarity and joyous freedom in that clarity.

 

 

Bon Voyage, Bienvenu (7/5/04 No. 6)

 

            On Friday night, the second of July to be exact, I attended a party that was happy on the outside, sad on the inside, and yet deeper still, immensely good at its core.   You see it was a going-away party, and the people going-away were taking going-away to the extreme.   On part I of their escape, they are to travel (and drift somewhat) to all points of the globe—from South America to Hawaii to France to Africa.   Then on part II they are hoping to land more or less permanently somewhere snuggly in France.   So, with these sorts of goodbyes one must take upon leaving the party one last good mental snap-shot of the person(s) in all their living, breathing, animation, knowing full-well it most likely will be the last time.   These are special internal snap-shots to be sure, and this morning I feel quite soft and strange as I place the snap-shot in my album amongst all the other final glances in my life.

            The words I feel compelled at this point to write are from a very old saying, and along with this well-ran question is this writer's answer:   “Is it better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all?”   I believe dearest sailors and patrons if one is searching for the Champagne Life than it is indeed better to have loved, because I feel courage is an attribute that will ultimately lead to a road paved with gold—sparkling gold that is...and in truth, for this humble explorer, love and courage are one in the same.

            In addition to goodbyes, there were also fine and rosy hellos at the party, and while one Frenchman was leaving (taking an American belle with him) another was committed to staying.   In a very animated discussion between me, a very nice surfer-gent from northern California (like myself), Dr. Timothy Smith (the founder of this electronic rag), and a Frenchman we talked about iconic American movies…and the extreme importance of knowing them (practically memorizing them) if one truly wants to understand and communicate with an American.   The Frenchman was very excited, due to his new emotional commitment to wanting to stay on this side of the Atlantic, and while I had chalked-up a good romp with Socrates for Monday, before leaving the party a strong hand took my arm and said,   “Jenn-eee-furr you must geee-ve me the mooveees on your column dis Mahn-day.”   And he spoke with such a good smile and such earnest humor that my favorite Athenian got bumped into Tuesday.

Movies That Every Foreigner Must See Upon Moving to America—Otherwise You Will Always Find Yourself Missing the Point Entirely

1.  Caddyshack   (to understand America's political system)

2.  Fast Times at Ridgemont High / American Pie   (to understand America's educational system)

3.  Pretty In Pink / Wall Street   (to understand America's class struggles)

4.  All the National Lampoon Vacation movies   (to understand the American family)

5.  All Woody Allen movies   (to understand that America likes smart people too)

6.  Every Christmas movie ever made   (to understand just how much Americans love Christmas)

7.  The Rocky Horror Picture Show / Female Troubles / Faster Pussycat Kill Kill   (to understand America's rear-view)

8.  Easy Rider / The Hustler / Valley Girl   (to understand the cool American alpha male)

9.  Bringing Up Baby / Breakfast at Tiffany's / All About Eve   (to understand the cool American alpha female)

10.  Smokey and the Bandit / Star Wars (1977) / Do the Right Thing   (to understand America's soul)

      This (I know!) (I know!) is but a very limited list, however, for the sake of all those poor foreigners please send me your top-ten list so that ladies and gents new to our shores no longer have to be left out of cubicle laugh-fests and ribald party repartee. Send your lists to letters2editor@thebetterdrink.com where they will be duly posted.

 

 

 

An American: Henry David Thoreau

 

 

          Henry David Thoreau was born on July 12, 1817, in Concord, MA. He was an outspoken writer and lecturer who championed simplicity, nature, moral character (over popularity), and the abolition of slaves. His gravesite is just around forty minutes away from me and often I travel there for solace. For he was the ultimate rebel: he absolutely did not care what others’ thought about him. And as someone who also insists on “marching to her own drum” I find Mr. Thoreau to be profoundly inspiring. Being that Fourth of July is just a few days away I thought it would be perfect to talk a little about this great American writer and thinker. To this day I am not the only one who visits his grave in earnest for almost always his grave is modestly heaped with letters, flowers, and other curious objects left by (no doubt) other rebels looking for some comfort in their upstream-swimming souls.

          In preparation for today’s column I decided to read his work “Life Without Principle”. It was published after his death in the Atlantic Monthly in 1863. “Life Without Principle” has in no way lost its teeth since its first publication almost a hundred and fifty years ago. In fact, I strongly believe that if the essay was published today without the author’s name it would indeed ignite strife. This brings up the most curious thing about Thoreau: his name has become so famous that many people stand up and give him his honor due, however, when you actually explain what he stood for rapid confusion almost always transpires. Surely, today being anti-slavery is something (hopefully) we all agree, however, that is but a gross (and obvious point). As in the case with the essay “Life Without Principle” I highly doubt many Americans would find a common cry alongside Henry’s points that working hard all day is a profane activity that does not honor God. Instead, one should just work enough in order to survive SIMPLY and then dedicate the rest to enjoying life, the outdoors, learning, and thinking. “A grain of gold will guild a great surface, but not so much as a grain of wisdom.” (Thoreau) Besides becoming empty slaves to commerce, which Thoreau points out that even though America has gained her freedom at a political level at a personal level her people are becoming wholly enslaved do to the social political encouragement of building America up as a trade-based society.

          The second major indictment Thoreau has for his America and her citizens is the way in which people are choosing to occupy their minds. He stresses the god-given grandeur of life and the gift of having a fine mind. And yet people fill it with horrors from courthouses, gossip, empty politics and other things found in the newspapers and at the post office or street corner. “We should treat our minds, that is, ourselves, as innocent and igneous children, whose guardians we are, and be careful what objects and what subjects we thrust on their attention.” (Thoreau) Essentially, as people get so wrapped up in news and events outside of themselves and increasingly need higher drama to stimulate their hunger—a hunger that feeds on empty food and leaves the person wholly malnourished of character and being—then increasingly people become hollow “shells” (a common term in the essay) without any meat (which is the only part a human can actually use and be nourished by). Thoreau even sees the danger in people becoming absolute busy-bodies—paying little or no attention to the gift of life god has bestowed upon them or the gift of mind or of spirit or of the awesome gift of the sun rising. “You may depend on it, that the poor fellow who walks away with the greatest number of letters proud of his extensive correspondence has not heard from himself this long while.” Amen brother Thoreau!

          The last thing Thoreau tackles is the effect the press has had on politics and he sees the newspapers’ power rooted in the fact that people are so low in their choices for occupying their time and minds, and that they have reduced their contemplations and information collection to brief shallow blurbs in a newspaper. This shallowness of presentation gives people a delusional sense of knowing and power and it creates a system in which politicians are reduced to presenting simple “nuggets” that can be easy placed in newspapers with little or no depth of information. “The poor president, with what preserving his popularity and doing his duty, is completely bewildered.” (Thoreau)

          I marveled when I read “Life Without Principle” for I see every point he brought up wholly rampant in my own time. Family, wisdom, the soul, and even living has taken a backseat to work when the opposite should be the truth: for we should see work as a way to live and love and learn in this life…for life is so short and so precious…to focus and put primary value on commerce and trade over the dignity and grace of man is a faulty value that will bring much misery (as it already has). His cry for people to become more wise and selective concerning what they allow to occupy and enter their minds also is startlingly appropriate for today: do we want television, movies, newspapers, and other mass media engines to be the sole inhabitants of America’s minds? Of what great value is it to spend time following others’ horrors in court? Of what great value is it to spend time following a movie stars love life? One can surely say entertainment, however, at what point should we ask, even of our entertainment, to be of some value beyond the ability to keep us away from our thoughts? And as for allowing the news agencies the power of our entire political system…should we give them so much power? Should we not spend so much with them and in doing so being able to spend more time with our own mind and the mind of our leaders? Versus being overworked, gossiping, busybodies, so utterly empty that we only want a shell and not the chore of picking out the meat?

          These are strong and challenging questions for Thoreau saw that these American tendencies would produce a shallow and empty populace. It is harsh to read today for I found everything he wrote about to not only be still in existence but to be rampant in my time…and judging by the increasingly senseless violent crime and amorality I also see the fruit of his worry ripening today. So, for this holiday weekend it is my request that as Sailors and Patrons (and for this explorer too) we should see that the Champagne Life is both an inside phenomenon and an outside one: meaning that as we strive to become enlightened our actions not only serve our inner selves they serve the people and the world around us. Essentially, inner peace helps instigate outer peace. Inner wisdom helps to produce outer wisdom. With all that said it is my earnest plead (and Thoreau’s grand lesson) both to you and to myself personally, to spend a little more time (or a lot) appreciating the grandeur of life in all its simplicity and mystery, being more selective in my occupations, and more probing in my views of the world around.

          Have a great Fourth of July Weekend! Revel in your freedom. See you on Tuesday, July 5 th.

 

 

The Falun Gong: Birth of a Martyr Religion Part II

 

 

         Yesterday I wrote about how fascinating it was that in my lifetime a brand-new world religion is being born. As someone who loves history and has been studying history for some time and with much ardor, I will say that watching Falun Gong or Falun Dafa (the term used more commonly today) helps me have some insight on the birth of other world religions. It is my belief my dearest Sailors and Patrons that one should take up the study of Falun Dafa (Gong) for it is now all over the world and over a 100 million strong and is actively striving to grow. Today I want to explore some of the finer details regarding the beliefs and practices of the Falun Dafa and discuss the oppression and affects of the oppression on the Falun Dafa, and finally, talk about the perspective of observer of the rise of a new world religion.

          “Truth, Compassion, and Forbearance” that is the slogan for Falun Dafa. Sometimes it is “Truth, Benevolence, and Tolerance” but either way the trine of truth, love or compassion or kindness, and forbearance or tolerance are the core of the Falun Dafa’s practice. The roots of Falun Dafa stem from Buddhism and Taoism as well as the mind body fitness discipline Tai Chi. The founder Li Hongzhi studied with a succession of masters from both Buddhist and Taoist traditions and came up with his own philosophical blend and physical form and theories surrounding Tai Chi. It is interesting to note that on the Falun Dafa sites sometimes bible verses are quoted particularly Revelations and are used to prove certain prophesies of the Falun Dafa. Li Hongzhi (the founder) formed Falun Dafa absolutely with the intention to save the world (from itself). In one startling interview in 1996 he talks about alien invasion and the fact that aliens are working to take over humans—specifically to live in our bodies—because the human body is the most perfect and luxurious form in the universe. However, when one reads his talks and essays and sifts through all of the Falun Dafa sites, really moral character building is the root. The key that will save us from not only aliens but from a human-induced destruction is if humanity becomes more morally dignified—that we adopt and embody truth, compassion, and tolerance. Temperance is also stressed as is general good health and fitness, which is where the Tai Chi like exercises comes into play.

          Now, as most people know, China is very unhappy with the explosion of the Falun Dafa. Very—very—unhappy. They have decided to pick oppressive, threatening, and deadly tactics regarding their effort to squelch the Falun Gong/ Dafa. They have even tried to get the U.S. to cooperate with them on this mission under the logic that the Falun Dafa is not a peaceful religion rather a dangerous cult that should be stopped at all costs. And for China “at all costs” has not only got them a new section on the Amnesty International site it has also transformed the Falun Dafa into a martyr religion. And making the Falun Dafa a martyr religion gives it more energy, more people, and more staying power than any other element. China is doing their very best at replaying history for the events are playing out so similarly to Rome and Christianity I strongly feel that if one observes what is going on today then one will have keen insight as to what it was like during the Roman persecution of the Christians. The images are horrific as well as staggering in their numbers. As would be expected, all of the Falun Dafa sites carry images and stories of brutality that make one queasy, and before one thinks this is all staged propaganda many news agencies from the West as well as watch dog groups such as Amnesty International have photo evidence and documentation of the profound brutality and oppression the Falun Dafa face in China. Currently, Falun Dafa faithful are all over New York City in an effort to raise awareness of the Chinese oppression and cruelty as well as the beauty and benefits of the Falun Dafa. And before one thinks this is a shady tactic—boldly showing their oppression and martyrdom know that martyrdom was one of the backbones of forming Christianity and the Christian worldview—one only has to stroll through a few art museums to see their martyr propaganda. It is interesting to note that originally in 1992 when the Falun Gong was founded China embraced the Falun Gong as a good thing—several government officers were official adherents. However, as the numbers continued to rise and people began to gather in large numbers to practice both the Tai Chi like moves as well as listen to lectures regarding the moral/ spiritual beliefs of the Falun Gong way, China abruptly changed its mind and outlawed the practice as being a dangerous cult.

          Anyone who has studied Roman or Christian history will see immediately the parallels between the birth of this religion and the birth of Christianity. It is not my intention to infer or claim that these two religions are the same or to somehow lessen Christianity. It is my intention, however, to point out the similarity of circumstances from which these two religions came to be. From a Roman perspective Christianity was a strange and dangerous cult and the Romans were no gentler in their dealing with Christians than the Chinese with the Falun Gong. I always wondered what an educated citizen of Rome or Greece thought of Christianity while it was in the stage of becoming and now I see some insight as I observe the Falun Dafa. In truth, I find many of the ideas fine and good and could see how the spread of Falun Dafa could bring some benevolent influence, however, the more far out stuff as in the case with aliens taking over our bodies I find both frightening and unbelievable and I struggle with thinking that perhaps we should take a sober and close look at this brand spanking new religion. And with all that said I could most definitely see that if I were Roman at the time of the dawn of Christianity most likely I would have the same reaction, and looking at the fact that Christianity is now the largest religion in the world coming in at 2.1 billion (with Islam in at second at 1.3 billion) it is this writer’s opinion that we all should take a good study in Falun Dafa.

 

 

 

The Falun Gong: Birth of a Martyr Religion

 

 

         This I love to think about from time to time: that in our time the birth of a new religion is taking place. Wanting I suppose to know what it felt like to be on earth when the other biggies were being formed it is a surprise boon that in my time a new world religion would be formed. This religion is Falun Gong or Falun Dafa (which is its most recent and common name). I love to think about the Falun Gong because in all honesty I cannot wholly pin down an emotion regarding this new religion. Also because China is trying to stop them so fervently and so violently this new religion carries a certain spark or energy that would not be so present if this religion was allowed to slowly grow in peace. The Chinese government is justifying their “rehabilitations” (which involves often-deadly torture), imprisonments, and just plain old torture (without the guise of it being a rehabilitation) by claiming it is a dangerous cult. Also, they have some good, almost effective anti-Falun Dafa propaganda explaining their legal right to outlaw and “rehabilitate” Falun Dafa followers. I believe something this profound: the birth of a religion…a true blue martyr religion no less…should be at the very least known about by everyone. This new religion opens a lot of questions and concepts that may cause one to re-look at one's own beliefs and one's own faith in the light of this brand new set of beliefs and this brand new call to faith.

         The Falun Gong or Falun Dafa was founded by Mr. Li Hongzhi in 1992. He said he went into training at four and throughout his life he worked with a series of great masters. By his adolescence he claims to have managed supernatural powers through his training. By all counts Li Hongzhi was kind, and very humble—even Mr. Hongzhi himself refers to himself “as just an ordinary man”. However, he also claims that he has great supernatural powers and is here to save mankind. He believes aliens are working to take over the world and that through science and technology (in which aliens are responsible) their goal is to get humans to clone other humans. He claims that heaven will not grant cloned humans souls in which case aliens then can enter with ease. He also talks about the fall of man and the loss of morality on earth and that his primary goal is to return a certain moral dignity to man in order to save mankind. Now, before all this sounds terrifically weird and “cult-like” (which is a loaded term I will deal with later), both his supernatural abilities and his alien theories are no more far out than angels, demons, Satan, virgin births, burning bushes, stone tablets being carved by god, water being turned into wine, raising the dead, and the list goes on and on. Good old Søren Kierkegaard points out a more curious aspect of faith and the tricky part of believing in the supernatural aspects of Christianity in the classic “Fear and Trembling”. Essentially, if today you were to catch or if anyone was to catch a father about to murder his son because god told him to, would you think he was super holy…so holy he would sacrifice his son for god? Or, would you dial 911 and be relieved when the cops came and took the crazy away? However, Abraham and his almost bout with murder is repeated over and over. I even see this grisly tale in children’s books as testaments both of Abraham’s faith and god’s love. It is not my point to challenge the authenticity of Judaism or any religion for that matter, however, it is important to see the parallels between the Falun Dafa and the birth of the other world regions for there are some striking resemblances. And I believe if one too quickly writes off this new religion as simply a weird, cultish fad than one is cutting themselves off from a truly big world event that I believe will have an increasing impact on our world. To give you an idea of why a thinking person should think and know about his phenomenon: the estimate for followers of Falun Dafa is now around one hundred million, and by all counts the religion is still growing—growing all over the world—in just over a decade. And one becomes hard pressed to call something with that many followers a “cult”. For really any religion can earn that name if it is both a threat to the government and still in small numbers…think Rome and the birth of Christianity…the Romans too saw Christianity as a terrible cult that would destroy the status quo. Ironically, in the case of Christianity, it would be Christianity that would preserve the Roman Empire up to this very day.

         That is all I have room for today. Tomorrow I will talk more about the actual practice and beliefs of the Falun Dafa as well as deepen my discussion regarding the birth of a religion and oppression.

 

 

 

The Big Trouble with Rules: Part V

 

 

         Today marks the final installment of my self-improvement series pivoting around the futility of seeing or making change as simply a matter of changing one’s inner constitution. Just imposing a new rule which you must now follow will in most cases only bring a battle-like lifestyle. This battle-like lifestyle is almost impossible to maintain and the people who can maintain it often find that they have become wholly detached from life and their whole mind and being is focused and consumed with their inner constitution and the enormous project of upholding that inner constitution. While reading a friend’s law schoolbook “Legal Theory, Political Theory, and Deconstruction: Against Rhadamanthus” by Matthew H. Kramer, I came across an elegant and convincing argument regarding the big trouble with rules or structures of rules (i.e. a constitution). The two primary problems with rules are that A. if one focuses solely on the law or rule then one is unable to see events as they actually are in reality. Rules are created from novel events that in reality will never be reproduced. To solely focus on a rule is akin to keeping one’s head in the past and never addressing or recognizing the reality of the present; B. to see one’s inner constitution as something as solid and stable is completely erroneous. Rules or laws are as slippery as can be and that is because every event is novel and therefore the rule must somehow be compromised or molded to fit the novel event at hand. Also a rule in the face of a novel event must constantly be re-interpreted in order to be found applicable and therefore enforceable. The problem is that every event is unique in life which means that every time you apply a rule you are actually re-interpreting the rule and deciding if it is applicable. Both re-interpretation and deciding are flexible and subjective activities therefore there is nothing concrete or objective about rules.

         So okay…okay…I’m asking you to dump making amendments to your inner constitution every time to want to embark on a little self-improvement but what does one do instead?

         The past four columns have both outlined the logic behind the problem with rules and therefore the problem with wholly depending on them. Also I wrote about the negative aspect of self-improvement and that is the battle-like lifestyle that almost always ensues when one commences any type of deprivation or change. My favorite method for self-improvement side steps all that and more importantly instigates transformation, which in reality is the only way true change can take place. For if you simply try to add a new rule to your life you still are faced with the same emotiona,l feeling person that perhaps made some unhealthy decisions in the past to compensate for negative or still-need-growth mind states and trying to use a rule as your only enforcement or strength will prove futile. One must work through their emotional, feeling states and develop more positive mind states if one really wants to transform for when someone seeks and adopts more positive mind states then better, healthier decisions will naturally arise. This not only removes the battle quality but it sidesteps the rule paradox and one is still incredibly present in their lives…more so than ever for one really becomes a fully participating decision maker.

         In all logical honesty I have almost written myself into a real box: for changing one’s emotional and mental states sounds a little like quitting smoking and going to the gym—hence one is really only “making a new rule”. However, I do have a way to gently transform ones mental states and to immediately become a positive decision maker—even before one has fully transformed into their “dream person”.

         Dream person: I have been asking you all to use your imaginations and create a highly—highly—detailed picture/s of your dream person. I’ve also asked you to include everything surrounding the life of your dream person. How does your dream person dress, eat, exercise, and sleep? What types of activities does your dream personal like to do? What does your dream person do for a living? What type of house and town or city does your dream person live in? What type of love life, family life, and social life does your dream person have? What type of car, objects, or even furniture does your dream person possess? Again, it is my utter insistence to build this dream person in your mind. Really—really—create a whole universe in your mind in which you as your dream person are the center. I cannot stress the importance to you enough regarding the importance of this exercise for it is the entrance to total transformation. This I believe absolutely: that everything in this world began in the imagination. The car, the plane, and even the water dam all were originated in a person’s mind…in someone’s imagination. Growing fields of grain had to have been imagined by a weary gatherer; a cart with wheels had to have been imagined by an exhausted tradesman; a cure for polio had to have been imagined by a saddened and compassionate scientist.

         So one makes this picture—this universe—of their dream person. Then I will tell you this: never ever let go of this picture. Surely, it will evolve and refine itself as you evolve and refine yourself, but do not let any person or event take away your dream self. This is important because next I will explain how one can use this picture to change their life. Essentially, the trick is to use your “dream person” as your decision maker…literally. Let me explain. If you struggle with your weight it is safe to assume your dream person is quite fit. When you are faced with food in anyway or you find yourself thinking (or in many cases obsessing) about food immediately conjure up your dream person and really put your mind and spirit into him or her. What would he do? What would he think at this moment? Then follow the decision that your dream person would make. However, say your original goal in mind was to lose weight know that your weight problem is really just the biggest physical manifestation of a lot of decisions you made based on negative mental states. This is the same for any negative or unhealthy states: meaning if you are a workaholic then you are running away from or avoiding your life, people, and your self; these avoidance behaviors are very often rooted in old fears and conditionings and yet most of us still continue to make our daily decisions on these tired old “tapes” running through our psyche. With all that said, use your dream self to make the most if not all of your decisions. Does your dream self eat dinner with his or her family? Does your dream self exercise everyday? Does your dream self say “no”? Does your dream self take things personally or does your dream self feel centered and above others’ negativity? Would your dream self take that job? Would your dream self walk away from that fight? Would your dream self forgive that friend? Would your dream self keep that friend?

         Use that dream self as your decision maker and in time you will become your dream self. Again, use that dream self as your decision maker and in time your will become your dream self. All we are and really all our life is is the fruit of our decisions. Using our dream self to make our decisions will eventually transform us into our dream self.

         Stop fighting with yourself. Stop piling up more rules to break and get anguished over. Both activities will not help you change and evolve and really that is the root of any negative lifestyle or unhappy, unhealthy life circumstance. By using your imagination you can seek and develop true positive change at a holistic level versus a micro level: meaning just losing weight will not really bring total transformation for unless you pull out the root of the situation in no time at all the trouble will grow back. Facing oneself and transformation is difficult, however, by using the picture and the wisdom of your dream self—your higher self—you are able to immediately become an empowered decision maker. And in time all those new decisions based on your dream or higher self will produce wholly new fruit.

 

 

The Big Trouble with Rules: Part IV

 

         Today marks the fourth installment of my series regarding self-improvement or imposing lifestyle changes and the difficulty of basing or approaching change on amending one’s inner constitution or personal set of rules, ie: quitting smoking means you add a new rule to your inner constitution stating that you can not smoke…that if you smoke you have broken a personal law…it is now against the rules to smoke. In the previous columns I wrote that approaching any change this way inevitably turns your life in a battle in which you are always in a state of resistance or resisting. This battle state for most cannot be sustained for long, and for those who can sustain it the price is a life well lived for very often a certain level of manic focus is necessary for a person to continue a fighting or battle stance regarding what it is they are trying to resist (or adopt). This type of fervor is very often seen in 12 step programs and some religious groups and more often than not the whole of the person’s life becomes singularly focused on the lifestyle change battle. This, in my opinion is simply a transference from one detachment mechanism (ie: drugs, booze, or food or even work) to another which means no real healing or transformation has occurred which still makes a person vulnerable to negative states and addictions. In addition to the problems of making life a battle by trying to uphold an inner constitution (particularly in the event of wanting to change), the very concept of rules or structures of rules is inherently flawed: meaning that trying to depend on change through a change in one’s inner constitution or inner rulebook is like trying to depend on landfill in an earthquake…with the double misfortune that most people misinterpret their inner constitution as solid and impervious as bedrock. Thinking about self-improvement and certainly wanting personally to improve I came upon a wholly different approach to change. In addition, I also came upon a wonderful book that beautifully illustrates the big trouble with rules (Legal Theory, Political Theory, and Deconstruction: Against Rhadamanthus, by Matthew H. Kramer). On Friday, I presented the first (of two) major problem with rules: that focusing on rules prevents one from being able to observe and prioritize individual events (as they actually are) over structures of rules (one’s inner constitution). Also on Friday I assigned to all of my beloved Sailors and Patrons to really form a clear and detailed mental image of who their ideal self is…and I mean detailed…like how does your ideal self dress, love, eat, sleep, decorate their home, do for a living…everything you can possibly do to build a whole ideal person in your mind and a whole world in which your ideal person lives.

         The second major trouble with rules is the actual flexible reality of rules. “[R]ules and patterns cannot have the final say regarding their own continuation in a specific manner, because any instructions they might lay down would forever be subject to interpretation and would hence stand in need of further instructions (which would stand likewise in need of further instructions, and so forth).” (Kramer, p. 18) Essentially, that inner rulebook—the one that you are leaning on and depending on and telling yourself is strong and solid—is as subjective and as flexible as cooked spaghetti. Life is a rolling continuation of novel events. Rules or patterns of rules (as in the case of law or an inner constitution) are based on a reaction or adjustment after a specific event. The problem is that never again will that specific event (the one the original law or rule was based on) will really ever occur. Hence, one constantly has to re-adjust and mold their rules to whatever current event that unfolds. Making this rule quality more complicated is that rarely do people recognize when they are actually adjusting or molding their rules to moment—more often than not people blind themselves to their own subjective interpretations and continue to insist that they are upholding an objective and bedrock-like law or rule or inner constitution. When you add this “forever subject to interpretation” quality to the other major problem with rules “If one is focusing on the structures of rules and systematized differences that govern events within a patterned activity such as discourse, one will be led to accord priority to those structures over the individual events” (Kramer, p. 17) you do not have much to lean on or base something as profound as self-change or transformation. Instead, when trying to live by upholding a set of personal laws or an inner constitution then you are leaning on an illusion. In truth, structures of rules either keep you from truly seeing and understanding actual events as they are and/ or they are absolutely subjective and in need of perpetual interpretation which means one’s rules are no more solid or objective than one’s feelings or one’s emotional response to one’s life. And this brings us to my last point: that to really bring transformation into one’s life one must chuck the delusional strength of an inner constitution and strive to change one’s feelings or one’s emotional response to one’s life. The idea being that by changing your feelings or emotional responses you are actually enacting genuine change versus enacting a battle between your same feeling, emotional self and a newly imposed law.

         That is all I have room for today. Tomorrow will be my final installment regarding the big trouble with rules. Remember to work on your inner pictures regarding your dream self for you will need those highly developed pictures to approach transformation and sincere self-improvement.

 

 

 

The Big Problem with Rules: Part III

 

 

          Today marks my third entry of what has become a rather large, multi-part essay on self-improvement and the pitfalls that lie therein. Please, if you have not already read parts I and II before reading on do so as it will make today’s column far more informative. As we discussed on Wednesday and Thursday making positive changes in life can bring on a big negative: attempting change can essentially turn your inner (and sometimes outer) life into a battle. And while fighting can be tolerated at first—even inspiring—over the long haul it will cause either desertion or detachment. Desertion meaning that one becomes so burned out with life being such a struggle…that life is too short to be craving something all the time. Detachment meaning that one becomes such a good self-improvement soldier that they wholly depart from the land of the living—they get so wrapped up in the “change battle” that work, loved ones, and even the simple pleasure of being alive becomes little more than background noise. In fact, this last problem with self-improvement tactics is ironically both the most insidious and in many cases the most encouraged by people wanting another person to change. Most twelve-step groups as well as many spiritual/ religious traditions encourage this type of single focus fight in the battle to get over any type of (seemingly) negative lifestyle choices. The major problem with this singularity of mind is that it prohibits one from really engaging in life. And I assure you living a detached life will bring on more pain and more woes than not being able to resist a bon bon. Sometimes, however, the stakes are profoundly higher and the argument has always been that detachment from life is surely better that an addiction to cocaine. And know this: anytime you are in battle you are detached from the intricate wheel of life. I personally would argue that using a single focus battle method (which is always a product of fighting to uphold a “personal constitution” or inner set of rules) is encouraging the same negative behavior: meaning cocaine is great if you want to detach from life and so is adopting a quitting cocaine mania. Consequently, the way to truly walk away from any habit is to completely CHANGE yourself wholly and NOT just your inner constitution or rule book.

         First off…let’s finally get to it…the big trouble with rules…. As mentioned in Parts I and II, a most curious book lent me the logical framework from which I could hang my newest idea or method for change. It is a law book entitled: “Legal Theory, Political Theory, and Deconstruction: Against Rhadamanthus” by Matthew H. Kramer. Essentially, I will say there are two primary problems with rules. The first problem is that if one focuses one’s attention on rules or structures of rules then they are no longer seeing or able to see the actual event as it really is. They force a person into a hyper-subjective state in which they close off there minds and/ or perceptions of an event and place a higher allegiance to their inner constitution: “If one is focusing on the structures of rules and systematized differences that govern events within a patterned activity such as discourse one will be led to accord priority to those structures over the individual events.” (Kramer, p.17) But how does this problem affect one who is trying to work out more? After some research I will tell you that two of the main reasons people abandon a workout routine is either boredom or burnout. Too often people jumping into a new program over-exert themselves leading to soreness and many times injuries which enviably puts them back on the couch in front of the T.V. and leaves them more pessimistic about exercise and their abilities than ever. Boredom is also another common reason for burnout. I have a dear friend who constantly complained how much she hated going to the gym. I asked her why she went then, and she responded that she “had too”. Finally, after hearing her complain all evening about how much she hated her workouts at the gym I begged her to quit. I then suggested that nothing that caused this much grief could ever be healthy or good for her. This time my arguments worked and she called me later that week completely excited that she quit. She felt liberated. She realized how much her attitude of “had to” was oppressing and negatively affecting her. Also she realized that abandoning her “must go to the gym law” of her inner constitution in no way ruined her earnest want to get in shape. Now, she has taken up a martial art and is experimenting with a few other classes. Getting fit has become a fun adventure and no longer a law. She is finally exercising almost daily whereas before she could really only manage to “force” herself to the gym two or three times a week. Also without the gym-guilt hanging over her head she finds herself going for long runs and walks more than ever—before when it was assigned by her trainer from the gym she would instantly feel too upset or tired to run or walk. Without the fighting the negative law of “had to do” she found and enjoyed what she “wanted to do”. If she did not see to break or abandon her inner law of “I must go to the gym every day (which she never was able…causing potent, self-defeating waves of guilt)” and instead, focused on her inner law and not the reality of the events before her (ie: she hated the gym so much that she was barely exercising at all and when she did go to the gym the only high she felt was that she upheld her inner law which I assure you is not a very potent high), then she most likely would have found herself feeling not only guilty, but defeated, upset, and still quite out of shape. Focusing on rules or one’s inner constitution can prohibit one from truly reading correctly events as they are…as they are actually happening and impacting your life.

          That is all I have room for today. On Monday I will be discussing the second major problem with rules in that they are far more flexible and open than one imagines causing all sorts of slippery slides into subjectivity and relativity while projecting a sort of delusional sense of rigid objectivity. Also, next week I will be wholly explaining my method for self-change that works to side-step or at least lesson the oppressive and very often futile affects of trying to improve oneself by revamping their inner constitution versus revamping their actual person. Over the weekend it is my suggestion that you work on phase one of my self-improvement plan: dream your life. Daydream this weekend…really…really get into it. I want you, my beloved Sailors and Patrons, to spend a goodly amount of time over the weekend building a powerful and completely detailed vision or picture of who and what your ideal person and life is. Do not hold back in any way. Your imagination is actually one of your greatest tools for growth and making positive life transformations.

           Have a great weekend! See you on Monday.

 

 

The Big Problem with Rules: Use Your Imagination

 

         As I wrote about yesterday, I have recently celebrated a birthday and as is my personal custom I celebrate my birthday as a New Year’s celebration and tend to make all sorts of earnest and ambitious promises to myself regarding self-improvement. I also argued that the problem with making life changes is that invariably it turns life into a battle and either one eventually gives up because they are just plain old tired of fighting or one continues to fight only to miss out on life…to miss out on being fully present to enjoy the rotations of sun up bird sing, sun down child dreams. Thinking about this and wanting to find a way to eat a little less, make myself get to bed on time, and say goodbye (once again…ugh!) to smoking…not to mention my minor personal “wish list” of having always a handsome and orderly house, keeping up on all my phone calls and other correspondence, and facing all of my little piled up phobias and fears one by one…I came up with a whole new way to instigate change. However, my “whole new way” was a little weird…and perhaps a little simple…and definitely not the rigid puritanical approach most people thrive on during the commencement stage of any type of healthy lifestyle change. I too understood the high of feeling morally mighty…but I also knew the downside of that high was a fall from grace and a large, very large pile of French fries. In truth, I believe that trying to make a mental (or otherwise) list of “do’s” and “don’ts”, “shoulds” and “must nots” will not work. It not only will not work it will take you wholly out of the moment—wholly out of being present in your life—as you chase a contrived set of rules. Then luck came and I found precisely what I needed to absolutely back my newest thinking regarding how one should best approach change, and this book is: “Legal Theory, Political Theory, and Deconstruction: Against Rhadamanthus”. In this borrowed book from an old friend who minored in law I found the exact logic I needed to fully state that rules are futile and if you are going to quit smoking or eat more whole grains or work out everyday or spend more time with your children than you must avoid approaching it as a citizen following a newly minted set of laws (with the punishment always being self-recrimination).

         Okay, so what is this radical new plan? (And I will parenthetically begin by saying, “yes, I currently am a user of this plan and that yes, it is working like a dream…a battle-free dream.”) First you must use your imagination. The imagination is one of the most under-tapped and under-valued assets a human being possesses. I cannot stress to you enough that the key to solving any problem, both at a personal and world level, is through the human imagination.

         Change is a profound thing. Change is a difficult thing. Embarking on a bold (or quiet) new change is a difficult thing regardless of the actual nature of the change. Consequently, if one tries to change with the usual, logical approach then one will find much difficulty. The key then is to be more as an “actor” than as your ordinary self attempting to do something that is not ordinary for your self (which always causes trouble). Using your imagination think of your dream self…the absolutely idealized perfect self. What do you look like? How do you dress? How rich are you? What does your house look like? What do you do for a living? What kind of person are you? Who is your lover or spouse or are you single? Dream your perfect self and the life your perfect self leads. Really, really get detailed with your vision. What kinds of things does your dream self like to do…like to talk about? How does your dream self decorate his or her home? Does your dream self live in a foreign country? Does your dream self do good deeds? Does your dream self have an exciting hobby like archeology in war zones? The key here is DREAM. You must have a full picture of your ideal or dream self before you can start my plan. However, I promise you this exercise is a lot of fun, and I heartily suggest you spend a good amount of time with step one: dream up yourself a killer life.

         That is all I have room for today, tomorrow I will be continuing my discussion on rules and their inherent troubles, and my plan for effective self-improvement that side-steps the cycle of inner constitution building and then its inevitable inner self-recrimination. Before I go I want to stress to you one more time the absolute importance of your imagination. I assure you that you have one for far more profound and powerful reasons beyond escape or fleeting sensual pleasure (which almost always leads to a major “let-down” once the fantasy ceases). Please, use your imagination today my beloved Sailors and Patrons. Spend some time alone and genuinely daydream about a life and person you most cherish and desire. Do Not Limit Yourself In Any Way! In your imagination absolutely anything is possible…so please take advantage of this quality…I assure you the more intense and detailed your dream…your inner mental picture…the more easy and profound your ability to transform will be.

 

 

The Big Problem with Rules: an Introduction

 

 

         First off I want to boldly claim that this past Saturday was my birthday and for me (due to a deep-seated sense of self-importance or intense independence no doubt) I view the date of my birthday as the beginning of a new year for technically it really does mark the beginning of a new year for me and it is then that I promise to embark on all sorts of profoundly positive new changes. Personally, I heartily suggest this personal sense of date keeping as I have found over the years that my birthday resolutions always stick around a bit longer and some of them even seem to stay whereas rarely do my “New Years” resolutions survive the week in which they were born. I am not sure why this is so, but I do sense that being more accurate with one’s year counting (considering that the date of your birthday really is the first day of your first year…for if you stick to January first then you might be robbed of a few to several months….) has something to do with the increased effectiveness. With all of that said and out in the open I will say that this year I came to realize that I was now the oldest I have ever been and considering the augustness of that fact I decided to adopt a wholly new tactic on how to actually embody all of my new “lifestyles”…like getting more than four to five hours of sleep a night…and not considering seconds and thirds at every meal…and definitely most definitely return to being a non-smoker (I was a non-smoker for some time, but somewhere over the course of this past year I found my “oh just for tonights” merging into a sort of half-believing state of being a smoker again). So, in short I had some serious and tricky changes to adopt…this is not even considering the other lifestyle changes I found myself only really dreaming that would come true: a pristinely clean and orderly home, letter writing to old friends, and always donning inspired fashion….

         Now normally these sorts of life changes begin with a list (mental or otherwise) with all sorts of rules and regulations, and normally one commences a period of battle between what one wants to do and what one should do. This battle continues and continues until either one concedes that they can no longer tolerate the battle or until the battle becomes so part of their daily life that they just sort of become a mercenary in the war on imperfection. The problem is that both are not only wholly satisfactory, both can become so life consuming that regardless of the scores of Champagne Life moments and opportunities one very often is consumed with “don’t”, “must not”, and “should”, and after awhile one can become completely disconnected with life and the business of living which is surely one of the more deadly whirlpools one can sink in on their search for the Champagne Life.

         This time, however, I have a plan…a marvelous plan that I believe can and will side step this terrible battle-like cycle that ensues whenever someone wants to embark on a little (or a lot) of self-improvement…. Furthermore, as I was formulating and already practicing this new technique for lifestyle overhaul I came upon a most curious teaching that I found not only relevant but absolutely validating for my newly minted path or effort in becoming the me I always dreamed of. The book is entitled: “Legal Theory, Political Theory, and Deconstruction—Against Rhadamanthus” by Matthew H. Kramer. The book was owned by a gent friend of mine who minored in law while in graduate school. I had seen it in his book case for years and finally I grabbed it, stole it, and low and behold I found what (perhaps) I had been looking for my whole life: a solid argument against the actual effectiveness of rules…or at the very least the shaky paradoxical stance that rules have in relation to events. And this would be just the right logical framework in which my wholly new tactic regarding change could hang. And this tactic could quickly be reasoned as thus: build it, hold it, refer to it, and then “it” becomes it. Heady stuff to be sure…however…in reality nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, the technique in which I will be thoroughly outlining along with its bold, and saucy logical framework is so simple that it could be easy laughed off. Though know this: I have been successfully embodying my new “lifestyle” for around a week and I will say that not only has it embodied more promising details than ever imagined it has been absolutely effortless and without the usual inner battle. Absolutely battle free.

         So, it is my hearty suggestion that you return tomorrow (particularly if you too want to change your life or your person a bit) as I will be thoroughly laying out a great way to happily foster change…and a great logical argument involving “Structure/ Event Antinomies” (or the big problem with rules).

 

 

Grace While The Idiots Rule

 

 

          Really as one gets to know the ancient Chinese oracle the I Ching or Book of Changes one begins to realize a larger theme within its awesome text. The big circle or biggest theme I would say is how one is to become absolutely wise and enlightened. However, another absolutely constant theme is how a wise man or a “superior man” (as referred to in the text) is to survive the times when inferior men are running the show? The I Ching was created when China was in a great time of turmoil. When war between princes, warlords, and nobles was a constant and the ruling classes were extremely corrupt and often cruel to the people. The I Ching in many ways is a call to persevere during less than enlightened times; and furthermore, how one is to rise up within and survive a time when the inferior are ruling.

          Today, I want to talk about the twenty-second hexagram “Grace” or Pi. Grace is absolutely intended for the superior to heed while working through a quagmire of inferior men. Grace is a funny hexagram—one I have been contemplating for some time—for I still find a great deal of mystery within its lines. It is said in my translation: “Confucius felt very uncomfortable when once, on consulting the oracle, he obtained the hexagram of Grace” (I use the classic Wilhelm/ Baynes translation, Princeton University Press). The idea that Confucius did not like this hexagram—that he did not like being told that now was his time to employ Grace (versus war or other bold or “important” actions)—I found absolutely intriguing. One of the reasons I find this interesting is that the I Ching was written as a way to become wholly enlightened and at one with the Tao—this is no small matter—and while Grace on the surface may seen unimportant or perhaps even trite it is included therefore supremely important. But why…but how…for not even wise and noble Confucius felt comfortable with this admonition?

          The primary image attached to the hexagram Grace is “fire at the foot of the mountain which lights up the beauty and grandeur of the mountain.” Grace in this sense is the uniting of something lesser and greater in order to bring great beauty and not cruelty or harshness. The lesser fire at the base of the great mountain brings beauty by illumination and framing the beauty of the mountain and this act brings importance and dignity to the fire. This is the picture of ideal or perfect grace. True grace and beauty comes from the lesser framing the greater—without grotesquely decorating the greater—without actually changing the mountain. Grace is this sense is a true call for harmony and dignity.

          The rub begins, however, with application: for as Confucius surely knew this type of Grace is rarely achievable for too often the lesser (the fire) is not so happy to frame the inherent beauty of the greater (the mountain), and wants to assert itself as the primary power. In turn, many mountains weaken their positions by over adornment and artifice making them weakened and no longer the image of heavenly grace and perfection. The reality of Grace is really “Grace while the idiots rule”. It is a call to study and learn discipline in small matters—seeking to unite lesser and greater elements with the lesser framing the greater and not ruining the greater—for now is not really a time when the superior man will be effective against the host of inferior rulers. In time, however, a man with Grace will eventually gain influence and rise through the ranks of the profane. And in the end the superior man will succeed by catching the favor of a very powerful superior man thus the inferior finally lose their sway at court.

          Grace is an act of contemplation and not action. Grace is theoretical and idealistic and lives in the world of art. Grace is not to be used for extraordinary things: it warns that Grace is not a strong enough effort in times of great importance. And yet, Grace must be employed. Beauty and harmony are a part of life that must be considered—but sparingly and with understanding of its place—otherwise one who puts too much emphasis on Grace becomes vulgar and foolish.

          I still contemplate this hexagram and I sense something quite great is underneath its quiet, bide-your-time surface. I think of Confucius being disturbed by it…and I think of true beauty coming from framing the greater with the lesser…giving both their proper dignity and importance. I believe (at first round) it is a call to understand the importance of keeping one’s material appearances from home to car to person subtle, harmonious, beautiful…with grace. I also believe that this Grace must also extend to one’s speech and movements for in the end the superior man finally wins over the inferior at court by catching the respect and eye of the princess and she with her ladies in waiting take your case to her husband therefore garnering you great favor and influence.

          There is also one more idea or call to Grace that I find in succeeding rounds with this hexagram and that is the insistence that Grace is contemplation and this contemplation ultimately leads to the “understanding of time and its changing demands” and “Through contemplation of the forms existing in human society it becomes possible to shape the world”. It becomes possible to shape the world…. This is a sharp turn from making sure your house and speech are harmonious…and to be told that Grace is not the way to act during extraordinary times. I believe this is a call to understand that we ultimately “dream” our world and that while the world can be harsh and cruel one must continue to not only keep their homes and speech in a state of Grace but continue to contemplate a world of peace, beauty and harmony for ultimately it is how the heavens and the earth unite. In short, Grace is all about strolling through hell with dignity, harmony, and optimism…for in the end know superior man you will win…and you might win for having Grace.

 

 

 

Lunch with a Stranger (8/6/04 No. 30)

 

 

            Today I had lunch with a stranger.   He had done a fine favor for the magazine, and so Dr. Timothy Smith and I took him out to lunch.   Timothy had known him casually, however, for me he was a complete unknown.   I was running late that morning, and had many other things on my mind as I hurried to dress and meet him.   When he entered the car it struck me.   The moment caught me off guard even…I truly had no idea who this person sitting shot-gun in my car was.   The ride to the restaurant was quiet, and each person threw out the best melting-arrows they could.

            Normally, when I encounter strangers it is surrounded by some sort of structure like work, school, church, a club…something.   However, this lunch was about saying hello and thank you…but it is a curious thing to say hello and thank you to someone whom you do not know.

            We were seated quickly, and everyone's eyes seemed immensely engrossed with their (blessed) menus.   Timothy and I chatted a little, and slowly the three of us began stabbing at various conversation topics.   In one of the prattle gaps I found myself wholly noticing the stranger sitting next to me and marveling how odd it can be to find your self sitting next to and dining with a person who is completely new.   He was an absolute mystery.   Meeting people in structured events (and even a date is somewhat structured—Mother Nature offers a pretty good game plan—for both “yea” and “nay”) denotes at least one interest one knows of, but in this case except for me knowing he was kind, I knew nothing else.   And different from a plane ride next to a stranger—a thank you/ hello lunch was intended for social discourse—I could not put on my headphones and nap any time I pleased.

            Eventually, real conversation came.   We had kindled the sparks well.   And my shyness (which can reach near panic levels) wore nicely off.

            What struck me later was how meeting someone for the first time can allow one to, in a way, meet ourselves for the first time.   At lunch I found myself telling things about my life that I had not really told others.   But the stories I told were answers to the questions asked and the direction the loom comb was going.   And this idea to me is very exciting.   I find it exciting, because very often when one decides they want to search for the Champagne Life it stems from a sense that the direction their current lives are heading is in some way unsatisfactory.   And the idea that—without being fake or putting on any kind of false persona—when I lunched with a stranger the yarns I provided for our group tapestry at the table were wholly new, which offers many clues as to the plastic nature of being.   Yes, the little threads I wove today at lunch were my history, but history is selective, and each person we meet will draw out a whole new tapestry.   For we are always helping each other create ourselves.   So perhaps, if one finds oneself completely unhappy with the life, past included, they have woven then meeting new people with varied perspectives can help one realize the many facets of oneself.   And in doing so, perhaps one can begin to let go of the tapestries or threads that no longer serve us.

            This is not a case for dumping your friends when you are unhappy with your life and wish to seek change.   (Although, in some cases, leaving toxic relationships can be the best thing in the world…but that is a whole other topic!)   It is a case, though, that who we perceive as “I” and what we perceive as our past is immanently relative.   Before one can set sail (to reach the Champagne Life…no doubt) they must release the mooring lines…and realizing that our past and even our very selves are not really set in stone can be a good place to work the knot.

 

Living as the Sun Shines

 

         Today I want to talk about the Shambhala Warrior practice of “The Dawn of the Great Eastern Sun”. The Shambhala traditions stems from a legendary kingdom found in epics and myths throughout Asia. It is not unlike the legends of King Arthur and his round table. As a practice the Shambhala is unique in that while it carries much of the same essences of many religious traditions it is wholly secular. It is a practice that can be embraced by atheist, Christian, or Jew. It is really a knight’s code of honor, with the warrior aspect being wholly metaphorical. The long time Buddhist teacher Chogyan Trungpa was a great teacher and believer in bringing the ancient Shambhala teachings and ideas to our modern world. After years of being a religious teacher he came to realize how burned out and cynical people had become regarding organized religion—and rightfully so—for he also came to see that organized religion very often deserved much of its unkind press. The Shambhala teachings offer a solid, profound ground for all people to learn from, find inspiration in, and practice in order to first build a sane, dignified self but also help create a sane, dignified world.

         The practice of “The Dawn of the Great Eastern Sun” is defined perfectly by Chogyam Trungpa in his seminal book “Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior” (this is an absolute must buy for anyone even considering living the Champagne Life): “The Dawn of the Great Eastern Sun is based on actual experience. It is not a concept. You realize that you can uplift yourself, that you can appreciate your existence as a human being. Whether you are a gas station attendant or the president of your country doesn’t really matter. When you experience the goodness of being alive, you can respect who and what you are.”

         It is very important to hang on to or pay attention to the word practice when you contemplate The Dawn of the Great Eastern Sun. It is not a pleasant idea to consider or to carry around with you throughout your day—hoping it will cheer you up or occupy your mind on the train home. Practice means to apply yourself physically, emotionally, and intellectually to this worldview over and over with the idea that in time it will become who you are. This is the way of the warrior—this is how warriors survive and prepare for battle—there is not time to think in combat one must have practiced enough so that fighting becomes fluid and automatic. This same is behind the concept of being a Shambhala Warrior: one must practice daily and with much effort for when “battles arise” (whether physical, emotional, interpersonal or even intellectual) then he or she is prepared to handle the situation with sanity, wisdom, and dignity.

         How does one “practice” The Dawn of the Great Eastern Sun”? While there are many and more detailed practices or wisdoms inherent in the way of the Great Eastern Sun (versus the way of the Setting Sun—the polar opposite of the Great Eastern Sun—and the current vision of many people of the world today) the root or overall tenant that one must work to grasp (and this does take much work and much discipline) is that there is an innate beauty and radiance in every human…and that life is fundamentally precious, brilliant, and profoundly joyous. The Great Eastern Sun is a call to change your heart and eyes and ears to see above day-to-day struggles, to see above people’s faults, and to see life as the greatest treasure a human can hold. Too often people just operate on whatever beliefs that have been put on them since childhood this belief may be that they are not very valuable or that some other race or sex is not very valuable. It might be a belief that material success is the highest mark of human dignity and achievement. To make a belief system such as the Great Eastern Sun a practice means to be in control of one’s beliefs—to begin to willfully foster and hold a belief versus the usual unconscious way in which people hold and then act on a belief. Essentially, the core practice of the Dawn of the Great Eastern Sun (which is a core practice for the sacred warrior) is to genuinely foster the belief that life—LIFE—should be celebrated. It should be enjoyed and experienced without fear—fear that ultimately leads one to the vision of the setting sun. Again, here is a quote from Chogyam Trungpa: “The setting-sun point of view is based on fear. We are constantly afraid of ourselves. We feel that we can’t actually hold ourselves upright. We are so ashamed of ourselves, who we are, what we are. We are ashamed of our jobs, our finances, our parental upbringing, our education, and our psychological shortcomings.”

         So, my wish or hope for all of you, my beloved Sailors and Patrons, is to try to genuinely practice appreciating yourself and appreciating the world. It is a fundamental and simple seed of great dignity and of great sanity. Take the setting-sun judge off-line this weekend—and see that the fact that you are alive is enough to prove your ultimate sacredness and brilliance.

         Have a great weekend! See you Monday.

 

Interview with a Better Drinker: Paul Donaldson Part II

 

 

         Today brings part II of my interview with Paul Donaldson, The Better Drink’s West Coast Correspondent. Paul is an executive for a home building company as well as a wine grower. He lives in northern California with his wife and three small children. Definitely (if you have not already) go back a step and read Part I before you read today’s column. We return to the interview with a question regarding Paul’s sense of passion for the unknown and how this love and curiosity helps drive his success and his taste for new challenging ventures.

Jenn—Do you think fostering a lust or passion for unknowns engenders a sort of excellence that perhaps would not be achieved otherwise? I mean we are searching for the Champagne Life here…and this explorer smells a little life lesson?

Paul—Yeah, to be inquisitive and maybe “other centered” really allows for great exploration when I encounter people. So, I do find that in life…for sure. I seek that shared experience with someone else and want to learn how he or she bettered their lives and how I am better in my life.

Jenn—With so many interests and projects how do you find balance in your life?

Paul—I guess by always questioning my priorities, and then by looking at signs of things pulling my priorities what are the kinds of things in my life am I allowing to pull on my values or priorities because my priorities are an extension of my values. I mean I’d say at this point in my life, because nobody knows what tomorrow will hold, my priorities and values seem pretty strait forward.

Jenn—I like to ask all who I interview this surely well worn question: what do you, Paul, think the meaning of life is?

Paul—I think it’s always to be in search of the meaning of life…. And that means to be inhaling it all.

Jenn—Well that is quite an answer, and I am proud to call you a fellow Better Drinker. I suppose I want to end this interview with on last question: if you were to leave your life now and run off to join the circus what job would you want and why? Think about it….

Paul—I would want to be in a small circus where I could be the ticket taker and then the clown that interacts with the people in between all of the acts.

Jenn—And why?

Paul—So I could see the anticipation of their faces coming in and be a part of them experiencing the fulfillment of that anticipation.

Jenn—I have to do it Paul…but why? Why do you feel so attracted to anticipation? Not only were you wanting to see the first stage of anticipation by collecting tickets, you then wanted to take anticipation full-circle and see it satiated in the audience firsthand by being a clown in the audience? Answer this and I promise it’s over.

Paul—(he laughs) Why do I feel so attracted to anticipation? It’s because in all of life I’m definitely a hopeful person…even with dark or difficult situations I see hope. Now, with the clown—I mean you put me there—you put me in the circus—so now I get to see the really joyful upside lived out. And that turns my crank (he laughs again). Honk. Honk.

         Well that concludes my interview with Paul Donaldson. You can read his interview of Liz Dueland of this current issue. I truly enjoyed my talk with Paul (as well as the evening…I made him dinner as well), and found that he really was living the Better Drinker lifestyle of exploration, joy, self-challenge, and personal value. The strange thing about Paul, however, is how humble, funny, and completely approachable he is, and I found both inspired and at ease in his company. As I write the ending to this interview I am struck by the genuine importance of building personal character, and I suppose my exercise (or challenge) for you, my beloved Sailors and Patrons…joining me on my search for the sweet golden shores of the Champagne Life…is to take a little moment today and have a friend or spouse interview you. What do you think the meaning of life is? What job at the circus would you want? How do you find balance in your life? What key elements do you believe make up who you are and what drives you? These types of questions can not only help you see where your rudder currently is they can also get you motivated and thinking about the dream you…the you that you aspire to. I believe every person has most definitely a terribly wonderful house waiting for them in the Champagne Life, and I believe that exercises like having someone interview you offer key hints as to how one personally is going to navigate their journey. For there are many roads to the Champagne Life…which means that one of the challenges is discovering which route one should take.

 

 

Interview with a Better Drinker: Paul Donaldson Part I

 

         Paul Donaldson is the magazine’s West Coast Correspondent. He lives in Northern California with his wife and three small children. He is not only an executive for a home building company but also a successful wine grower. Last night I had a chance to not only interview him but also serve him dinner and talk about all points South, North, East, and West…because, in truth, while Paul is officially called our “West Coast Correspondent” he is one of the most dynamic people I have ever met. One would think that someone so successful would be (at the very least) intimidating or difficult to approach, however, nothing could be further from the truth; and when I look back over my evening with Paul one of the key residues one has regarding an evening with Mr. Donaldson is laughter…lots and lots of laughter…and I will say that not only is Paul impressively successful he is supremely warm, humble, and very, very funny.

Jenn—Hey Paul it’s nice to finally have you for a little chat…first off tell me one thing that you think I should know about yourself….

Paul—That you don’t already know…. Well, tell me what you want to know…(he laughs)…I’ve put on a blank. I don’t know, maybe it’s that what you see is what I really try to be with anybody I try to meet or anywhere I try to go.

Jenn—If you are trying to be what I see…then what is it that is a little hidden?

Paul—Maybe the more silly, playful side of me.

Jenn—I know you grow Pinot grapes. Do you think being involved in the wine making process affects you when you drink wine?

Paul—Oh yeah.

Jenn—How?

Paul—I want to know much more about where it came from. I just want to know more…. I want to know who made it. It has made me much more aware what I’m taking in also or what I’m exposing myself to…I won’t buy the jug stuff that’s you know crap or low quality…but if you look around you can find stuff that’s great you just really need to know who made it and where it came from. (special note: I then teased Paul a bit and told him to read a column I wrote about a wonderful jug wine experience…inferring that perhaps he had become a bit of a wine snob…and he quickly pointed out a local jug wine venture in his wine region neighborhood and that good jug wine can be found. However, he insisted it was still crucial to look for quality always in wine.)

Jenn—How do you quilt being a house building executive, a wine grower, and now a writer for The Better Drink? I mean how do you make sense of yourself in this kind of soup?

Paul—I guess back to your first question (What is one thing I should know about you?)…I like to feel a little uncomfortable…that is something you should know about me. I probably appear like someone who likes to be comfortable…likes to be predictable…. So…the quilt…I didn’t know anything about grape growing. It was completely new, completely uncomfortable, and that is why I went into it. So, with the vineyard I was unknowing; so I had to learn something completely new to me…I mean farming? (he laughs) For a city boy?

Jenn—What about writing for The Better Drink? How has this new unknown settled with you?

Paul—Oh, that was at first really uncomfortable, and so, it’s new, fun and different and definitely off any beaten path. For me it is another exploration. And obviously anybody by reading any of my interviews one would know I have no professional training. But I am up for the journey…as long as you’ll still have me. And then if you dump me then I’ll have to go right for The Worst Drink.

Jenn—Well, yes, I’ll have you and no, I thing you’re wrong regarding your writing. In fact, I am amazed by the high level you are able to take these “unknowns”. Do you think fostering a lust or passion for unknowns engenders a sort of excellence that would not be achieved otherwise? I mean we are searching for the Champagne Life here…and this explorer smells a little life lesson….

         That is all for today. Please come back to tomorrow and read Part II of my interview with Paul. I also want to thank Paul, once again, for taking the time out and really allowing himself to be grilled. Also, if you have not already, definitely check out Paul’s interview with Liz Dueland in this current issue of the magazine.

 

Oh That Aphrodite….

         Over the course of the past couple of years I have become increasingly a Homeric Hymn fan. For the most part it was the Hellenistic period of Greece that drove this girl wild, but lately I have been turning my time-machine dial five or six hundred odd years back and have been thoroughly enjoying some of their lighthearted prose. The period attributed to these “Homeric Hymns” (scholars all generally agree that while many of the poems in which I am referring to are called “Homeric” they were not really “written” by Homer himself rather by many now long-forgotten poets of the Archaic period). The Archaic period in Greece (and simultaneously the Legendary Period for Rome) runs between the years 800 to 500 B.C. (the 9 th and 6 th centuries). And let me tell you this was a rather hot time for Greece. It was the time of Homer, the time of the first Olympic Games (753 B.C.), Romulus founds the city of Rome (although still a pretty backwater town), and saucy Sappho, with her sumptuous eye for the ladies, lights up the poetry scene (600 B.C.). Essentially, the Archaic Period of Greece was one heck of a time both of transmigration (the first waves of Greeks would be settling down in Italy), theater, philosophy, war, and culture. It was also (due to all of these massive changes) a time of insecurity and pining for “ancient ol’Greece and poets such as Homer strove to create nationalistic epics in order to bring a sprawling people back to their mother roots.

         The Homeric Hymns from which I speak of are not the heavy fare of Homer’s epic cries for a nation to come together—nay—these are light, entertaining tales of gods having a good time. I love them because they are so completely entertaining and oddly modern. One instantly feels a connection to people that lived nearly three thousand years ago, and somehow I find that immensely comforting and fascinating. It is as if the peoples of each period leave a message in a bottle (of sorts) and the message says, “We were here. And we had fun. And we were cool. And we managed to get through our tribulations and find a little time for joy. So take heart modern peoples and know that you will be “were here” one day too.”

         Wanting to give a good sweet taste of these surely honey poems I will re-tell you one of the narratives found in a Hymn entitled simply “To Aphrodite”. Most likely this poem (as well as the others) was read at the opening of some type of festival or community event.

         We begin in hearing that only three beings in the whole of the Universe can resist the stir and sway of “Aphrodite the golden” (not even the birds and wild beasts can resist). The three are ladies: Athena, Artemis, and Hestia (Hestia was a surprise…I forgot she was a virgin…she is Zeus’ daughter and goddess of the hearth). Otherwise, even Zeus gets thrown around by Aphrodite…even to the extent of falling prey to mortal love. This loving mortals business really gets on Zeus’ and the other gods’ nerves (particularly fuming Hera). However, finally (and this is what the tale is really about) lovely Aphrodite gets a taste of her own medicine and finds herself completely enamored by a mortal male. He is a cattle herder and of noble class (remember in that time period agriculture was the center of the economy).

         Not able to resist the hottie cowboy the goddess comes down to her nearest temple and gets supremely dolled up. She then goes to the cowboy when he is alone in his house. When he answers the door he is awestruck by her appearance and asks if she is a goddess or nymph. She (having mega-toned down her god-like appearance so he does not grow crazy or blind) says thank you but “no”, and proceeds to tell him a pretty elaborate lie as to who she is and why she was there at his door. The lie is that while she was at a massive festival where rich maidens were to marry rich cowboys Hermes swept her away and delivered her to his doorstep with the instruction that they should marry. She then offers a huge dowry and says she will no doubt impress his noble parents once she gets a chance to meet them. This being enough to entice the cowboy, he agrees that they should be married and quickly asks her to go to bed with him. They make wild passionate love, and she then lulls him to sleep. Before taking off she awakes him and reveals her total goddess self. He is nearly blinded and completely frightened for the punishment for sleeping with a goddess (if you are a mortal) is impotence. She assures him he will keep his manhood and then bemoans that she has gotten herself knocked-up by a mortal and that as long as he keeps his mouth shut about the whole affair she will deliver him the boy once he is five and all will be peachy. She is comically embarrassed and upset that now she cannot make fun of all the gods and goddesses she has managed to couple with a mortal. It is also funny to note that the male does make some comment about her lying about wanting to marry him just to get him into bed…she just sort of sighs and tells him to mellow out. Brilliant…absolutely brilliant…oh, that Aphrodite….

 

 

The Best You Can

 

 

 

         Around one and a half or perhaps two years ago I read a book entitled: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book had two subtitles: “A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” and “A Toltec Wisdom Book”. It is a beautiful and spare (little even) book, however, I found myself arguing with Mr. Ruiz throughout…. But this inner arguing is not always a sign of a faulty teacher—the Dalai Lama also can instill a similar fighting spirit within me—and so I have come to see that certain lessons whether true or not press my buttons (so to speak) and this button pressing quality should not necessarily represent high or low validation scores for the actual teaching.

         For the most part I did more or less breeze through Mr. Ruiz’s book with a general sense of both understanding and accordance, however, when I hit the final fourth “agreement” (in which Mr. Ruiz implores us all to make a lifetime/ lifesaving practice of) lots of trouble and inner mind brawling took place between me and my teacher Don Miguel Ruiz. What made the situation doubly difficult is that this fourth, this final agreement was supposed to be the sort of integral “glue” that would hold his whole “agreement” system together. The fourth agreement was “To Do The Best You Can…Always”. Well, needless to say I agreed with myself after finishing the book to tuck it away for a year or so, reread the final section…the “do the best you can section” and see how I feel about it over time. So, yesterday afternoon I re-read the “do the best you can section” and I will say that not only did I continue to find myself arguing with Mr. Ruiz, I also found myself more than just a little confused as to what exactly doing the best you can is. I even went on a long walk in terrible heat simply to meditate on this and really—truly—try to grasp and perhaps find the wisdom in his teaching…. For in truth, I had actually seen a lecture by Don Miguel Ruiz (that is what prompted me to purchase his book) and I found his person and tone to be utterly pleasing in a sort of “boy you are super calming and wise” sort of way. So, it was a kind of let down or perhaps even heartbreak that not only could I not get myself on board with his brilliant (no doubt) agreement system when it came to the final (pivotal) agreement, To Do The Best You Can, I not only didn’t really agree with him I actually didn’t really completely understand his argument.

         What made this whole agreement system and not agreeing to the very gentle and wise Miguel’s fourth agreement (or at least not comprehending his teaching) was that I did not wholly understand why I was taking such issue with the idea of doing the best you can as being a sort of spiritual practice that if practiced will virtually solve all your problems…period…I walked around a lot not liking this…I showered and got dressed for a little dinner party not understanding this…and by the time my dinner company arrived and we were sipping some good American Northwestern sparklers and eating pistachios and walnuts I realized I both did not like this theory of making doing the best you can a spiritual practice (and that this spiritual practice will solve all of your problems), and I did not wholly comprehend this teaching, and so finally, I polled my guests what they thought and both really felt that “doing the best you can” is a relative and slippery thing and often frustrating for bosses and spouses…though often doable for parents…loving, un-controlling parents (that is).

         And then some illumination came: for people who try or want or need to control other people “doing the best you can” is a dangerous quality to see exhibited in others. People who need to control other people want people to “do what I want you to do exactly as I want you to do”. People who do not care (or bow down to) what controlling people want do the best they can. And with this line of reasoning I see a road in which a person can practice traveling upon that truly would foster immense self worth and self-authority…a.k.a. become rulers of their own destiny. And that I wholly understand and wholly believe to be true and profoundly valuable if one truly wants to live the Champagne Life: for Champagne Lifers are no lackeys. They will not and do not fall prey to control freaks that cannot and have not found personal value and peace.

         As I finish this column I do have to laugh (at myself). For in the process of reading, resting (for nearly two years), re-reading, thinking, walking, and then finally discussing I finally found (at the very least) some break in my mental dimness regarding what Mr. Ruiz was getting at when he ardently espoused that one should make a daily practice of Doing The Best You Can. I laugh because for all of my “misunderstanding”, in truth, it was the practice of me genuinely doing the best I could that brought me to not only a better ground of comprehension but now I feel I have a great new mental anchor or tool to use as I seek out the Champagne Life: Do the best you can for that is all one ever can do. It was nice brawling with you Don Miguel Ruiz…and for all who are interested in hearing out a highly respected Native American (Toltec) shaman than definitely check out his book.

 

 

Fear and the Warrior (1/4/05 Vol. 3 No.24)

 

 

            Carlos Castaneda is an anthropologist who studied the religious rituals and practices of the Yaqui Indians through an adept named Don Juan.   Don Juan was a powerful sorcerer, healer, and wise man.   Carlos was allowed deep inside the Yaqui world as no Westerner had by being accepted as an apprentice by Don Juan.   This was a great thing of honor, but also for Mr. Castaneda a life-altering experience.   Don Juan spoke of not only being a sorcerer and healer, but more importantly being a one who sees.   A person who can see is a special man (or woman) of knowledge and this was ultimately Don Juan’s goal for Carlos.   A goal that involved a great deal of hallucinogenic drugs such as peyote and a great deal of letting go.   Both the drugs and the very real dissolving of the ordinary world proved to be too much for Mr. Castaneda and during his apprenticeship he removed himself from Mexico in order to run from the experience.   Carlos wrote about his experiences with Don Juan and found fame in his writings.   However, the deeper story is that Carlos found that the teachings had already changed him to the point of no return and Carlos, once again, found himself back in Northwestern Mexico seeking out more instruction from Don Juan.   It is this period that is recorded in the book A Separate Reality:   Further Conversations with Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda, and it is from this book that I shall be discussing fear—which was a topic of much discussion throughout the book.

            Carlos Castaneda would go on to write a series of books on his experiences with Don Juan forming one of the most intimate and in-depth looks into the way of the Yaqui healer or wise man.   A Separate Reality is not unlike a great ball of yarn in which only over time can the threads be pulled out and understood.   Essentially, in no way could I write all of the lessons or even one of the lessons fully, however, my hope is to simply pull out a single thread and share enough of the qualities for you to at least begin to think about what Don Juan is trying to teach or express.   I am excited to explore the way of the Yaquis this year and shall be revisiting the teachings of Don Juan throughout 2005, but back to the thread…fear…and more specifically “sham fear” versus the fear of the warrior.

               Fear immediately plays a role in Carlos’ return to Mexico.   He was terrified of the drugs and even more terrified by how the teachings of Don Juan were altering his view of reality.   However, Don Juan saw Carlos’ “fear” in a wholly different light.   Every time Carlos would complain of extreme fear Don Juan would laugh or sometimes angrily snap that Carlos was not afraid that Carlos was in fact, experiencing what Don Juan called “sham fear”.   Both Carlos and I (as I read) were having a difficult time understanding the idea of “sham fear”.   Mr. Castaneda was sweating, suffocating, shivering, balking, and going numb to the point of speechlessness—all great signs of panic.   However, his teacher Don Juan would always yell at him and usually laugh brightly and loudly that Carlos was most definitely not truly afraid…again, Carlos was simply exhibiting “sham fear.”

            Finally, out of great frustration Carlos pursues aggressively with Don Juan regarding how come Don Juan does not believe Carlos’ fear.   And in a beautiful and elegant argument Don Juan explains to Carlos that what he was calling and perceiving as fear was actually frustration and anger that things were not as he wanted them.   That for Carlos the drugs and the new glimpses into reality—one quite apart from his Western teachings—rattled his core beliefs and what he was experiencing was ticked off core beliefs not genuine “shit your pants fear”.   Don Juan further went on to explain that this type of fear was not the fear of the warrior.   This type of fear was a sham fear that had more to do with clinging to ignorance and hubris.   Essentially this type of fear was just the ego feeling upset.   Don Juan explains that a warrior shits his pants because he is genuinely facing death—not because his worldviews are being kicked around.

            For Don Juan the process of becoming a warrior was indeed the only life work of man.   That as one pressed to become a person of knowledge that with this accrued wisdom came great perils.   It was essential then for survival to learn the way of the warrior.   A warrior stood above a sorcerer, indeed the way of the warrior was the impeccable way of being.   And fear for the warrior was necessary.   Courage, Don Juan explained, was only useful—possible—in the mundane world.   However, for the enlightened only fear would make survival possible.   True fear was something a man of knowledge wholly embraced and knew was not a sign of weakness rather a sign of great wisdom.   Death is always present and as one strips away one’s arrogances and preconceived notions regarding the true nature of reality one begins to genuinely face forces of great danger and significance.   Fear would give the warrior the wisdom of preparation, caution, and agility necessary to deal with the gravity of the situation.   Basically, there really were things that man should fear—fear desperately—however only the truly wise realize what this danger is.   

 

A Noble Drama…or This Fine Mess…or the History Behind the Drama Queen (3/4/05 Vol 4 No. 25)

 

 

         Drama…. Do you see your life as dramatic? Do you thrive on sharp twists and turns? Does a sweaty palm tell you that you are ‘right on track’? Mark Girouard is one of my favorite writers. He is considered to be Britain’s leading architectural historian. I was completely floored when I read his masterpiece (you must run to this book at your first chance) Life in the English Country House. Currently, I have been savoring another of his books Life in the French Country House and as expected this book is a complete wonder of writing, insight, and scholarship. I am relieved that he is a prolific writer and I shall be pacing myself (as I do with William Makepeace Thackeray’s work) conservatively so that I shall have his work to enjoy over the course of a lifetime…yes, his books really are that good. Life in the French Country House commences with a thorough treatment of the French nobility both from an historical view as well as a more personal, sociological one. If you are to understand their houses you must understand their makers. Two things I found notable regarding the French noble: they had a markedly different system than the English and they valued a life of high romance and drama as true marks of being noble as being set apart from the great unwashed.

         For the French nobility retaining a steep separation from themselves and the peasantry was essential. In fact, the French held onto feudalism much longer and with much more ceremony than the English. One of the ways the French nobility removed themselves from the rest of the population was in their outlook on life and sense of living. As the many frescos, paintings, and tapestries show, for the French nobility high romance and drama were the tone in which they set their values. Grand quasi-historical romances such as Tristan and his love for King Mark’s wife Iseult were depicted on the walls of many medieval châteaux. Love affairs, intrigue, betrayal, and passion were celebrated and emulated within the noble class. For them a life of high drama was a sign or ‘proof’ of their superior blood. Gaston-Phébus, Comte de Foix was a powerful and notorious fourteenth century count who impressed his peers and retained his power through lavishness, glamour, and his style of living. The count himself was quoted as saying, “I have delighted in three things—fighting, love and hunting.” Mr. Girouard goes on to tell us that the Comte de Foix kept four mistresses with their many bastard children in four towers of his home and was fond of surrounding himself with the finest knights of his time. Social aggrandizement was not just fun for the French nobility it denoted supremacy and often fueled the needed support to retain power, and for the French nobility social superiority meant high drama and romance.

         All this came sharply to mind when I found myself dropping in on the newest reality show on the E network: The Gastineau Girls (a reality drama that follows the trials and tribulations of a mother/ daughter would-be high society tag-team). What came to mind or rather struck me was Momma Gastineau’s constant refrain, “We don’t have to invent dramas…our life is drama.” And it is important to note that she is quite passionate as she says this and she says this often. The funny thing was that after watching two back-to-back installments I really could not find the drama. Yes, I did enjoy watching them, but it was not for their drama it was more for watching them (not unlike my love for zoos). For while they explained their lives as wildly dramatic, and insisted to us the audience that indeed their lives were dramatic what I watched was a couple of good-looking ladies…a mother and a daughter…shopping, dating, and lightly bickering. And to be honest, I found both their worldviews and daily moving-abouts to be charmingly middle-class. Yet, they insisted on insisting that their lives were the stuff of King Arthur…and now having the keen historical insights from Mr. Girouard’s Life in the French Country House I came to see (perhaps) why these ladies wanted to see themselves and present themselves as highly, romantically dramatic, and that what began as a noble worldview and a noble morality has now over the course of time trickled down to ex-wives of notorious football players.

         At around four this morning I found myself awake with this idea…with Ms. Gastineau constantly telling me how dramatic her life was and how one could clearly see how wholesomely plain it was: for she was not the Roman Emperor’s sister that Virgil immortalized (and nearly led to her execution) in which we find a lady of some moral courage…the Emperor’s sister managed to risk all for countless orgies and affairs right under her brother’s and husband’s noses. And one must note when I say orgies I mean several men and just her…clearly this was a lady that rose to the dramatic occasion…and a woman who was not pestered by what some would consider boring bourgeois morality.

         However, it was not a randy sister that awoke my mind this morning…it was the other, granddaddy of reality shows…Cops. Now, here were people with really, truly dramatic lives. I kept on thinking of one my favorite episodes in which there was a call for some sort of domestic violence. It was a watery lukewarm winter day in Los Angeles and we arrive (along with two handsome, fit young cops) at a very trashed, little stucco home. It appeared that a white, middle aged husband and wife along with a ‘buddy’ of the husband’s decided to spend the afternoon drinking beer and smoking crack cocaine. Somewhere in all the revelry the wife got upset with the ‘buddy’ and cracked him over the head with a piece of cinder block found in the backyard (where I believe they were threatening to commence a BBQ…a small detail that I still cherish). After the angry wife attacked the ‘buddy’ the husband then jumped in and attacked the wife. The two handsome cops marveled at the state of the house as they shared notes in the kitchen regarding whom they think should be arrested. The wife was in plastic cuffs in the backyard (bleeding a little around the nose and mouth), the husband was in plastic cuffs in the frontyard (bleeding a little around his knuckles), and the ‘buddy’ was bleeding a lot while sitting on the back bumper of the ambulance with a large compress on this busted open head. This to me was not only drama but also a prime example of a romantic and dramatic morality and worldview.

         I have to blush when I think of my own self-image and my own cherishing of what I perceive as personal dramas in my life. I would be lying if I posed myself apart from the Gastineau girls, for I too have perceived my life often as being somehow romantic and the stuff of high drama. However, I would say that this worldview, seeing one’s life as charged and dramatic is a way to set one’s life and self apart from the often frightening and dreary aspects of life…and I just can’t help thinking that when I do find the sweet shores of the Champagne Life it will be filled with great romance and adventure…at least dearest patrons and sailors, I hope so!

 

 

Emily Post….   Warrior Goddess? (8/4/04 No. 28)

 

 

                I just spent a goodly amount of my evening gliding along merrily with Emily Post.   I own a gorgeous 1960, copyrighted edition in deep blue and gold foil.   The pages are acid-free cotton rag and as creamy as the contents.   Etiquette is a book that should be devoured by all.   Besides it being one of the dreamier books ever written I believe a subtler message surrounds the exactitude in detail throughout the book.   You see, as one reads the book one begins to feel that courtesy is only courtesy when sincerity and being polite is not a vanity, but rather a dignity—a dignity towards oneself and for others.

                It is funny to read her “battle cry” for manners, knowing that it was an audience in the 1960's she was addressing, because one is struck by the similarities between then and now.   “In the present day of rush and hurry, a few of us allow too little time for home example.   To the over-busy or the gaily fashionable, ‘home' might just as well be a railroad station and ‘family' passengers who see each other only for a few hurried minutes before taking trains in opposite directions.”   (Etiquette, Emily Post, 1960)   Emily Post goes on to argue that people should slow down, have nice dinners with their families, have friends over for tea and conversation, and take on the general practice of considering human society.   Emily Post held no allusions regarding what her name came to symbolize, and the society in which she pleaded her case.   As many of my friends have teased me for my beloved copy of Etiquette—she too understood the common threat and misunderstanding her cause often aroused.

                Good taste and good manners are not snobby.   In truth, good manners and good taste prevent one from standing above others.   Rather, the whole point of etiquette is to make others comfortable and secure.   Making sure you have a fresh cake of soap, fresh towels, and nicely appointed sleeping quarters are about considering someone.   Greeting the arriving guests at the door is about making people feel loved and welcome—and for strangers it can more quickly put them at ease.   I personally cringe when I arrive at a dinner and either the host or hostess is watching television—or worse they contrive a guest to answer the door—a big no no for those interested.   It is not idealism or snobbery that makes me cringe at this breach in manners.   It is that it makes me as guest feel more as interloper, particularly so, if my relationship with the hosts is new.   Yet even with old friends it is still important, I believe, to foster genuine warmth and consideration…perhaps even more so.

                I am not blind or naïve to the times in which I live.   Thank you cards, thoughtful dinner seating, and afternoon tea (whether formal or informal) are becoming increasingly scarce.   Yet, it is my suggestion today that in the face of all the world's chaos that tightening up one's focus on one's personal interactions (family and society at large included), and building habits of graciousness can bring great luxury and splendor to one's life.   And quickly I must note that this luxury and splendor I speak of has no bearing on one's bank account.   This boon comes from a soft smile in a weary traveler's face when you show them their guest room—which is pleasant, and has a bouquet of fresh flowers.   This boon comes from a new friend's voice and manner quite at ease—even at a dinner consisting primarily of old friends (a truly complicated feat—but with a few ancient codes can be done).

                And so to all my beloved patrons and sailors it is my hearty plea that while we all traverse this fine globe searching for the Champagne Life that developing one's sense of taste and manner will bring rewards beyond a good reputation.   Learning thoughtfulness can spill out into living thoughtfully which surely is the only ground from which one can tread the Champagne Life.

 

Have We Really Made Our Bed?

And

Do We Really Have To Sleep In It? (12/13/04 Vol. 3 No.13)

 

            While nursing the beginnings of a rather marvelous Holiday cold I found myself staying up all night reading Jack W. Germond's new book Fat Man Fed Up-How American Politics Went Bad .   It's a great book and one I think would be a good gift, and it is that very thinking that wholly supports Mr. Germond's grief.   The book is unusual in that it stays remarkably to its intention:   a warm, yet studied breakdown of the American political process.   The fact that I found myself thinking,   "Gee, I think so and so would like this book (with the thought that so and so would be very entertaining to listen too-after a few cocktails-what they thought of the American political scene)," proved oddly that in many ways politics have become entertainment.   I believe Mr. Germond is right on when he argues that due to the over-influence of television and polls candidates have become increasingly isolated and over-sanitized in order to win.   It is this current necessity of distance that precludes any real portrayal of the politician in which a person can form a reasonable assessment.ie:   make an informed choice at the ballot.

            Mr. Germond breaks down everything from polls, the power of the "skeleton in the closet", and television coverage and woven throughout is a larger dialogue regarding public apathy and appalling voter turn out.   He is, however, more compassionate than the name of the book might suggest:   compassionate towards voter apathy and compassionate towards the politicians themselves.   He is very consistent and quick to point out that Presidents and presidential hopefuls are rarely as evil or as good as the press and popular convention may have them, and that voters are not showing up because of the growing emptiness in campaigns.   For me it was this compassion that offered some clue to how perhaps American can find a higher ground regarding how we pick our leaders.   The book does end with a bold and immediate claim that while he should now offer some solutions after his comprehensive lampooning of the American campaign, he admits that he doesn't really have one, and in the very last line of the book he tells us ultimately we get what we deserve.   But it is this thinking that I strongly believe will be our national redemption:   taking responsibility.

            Taking responsibility is one of those lines or statements that is highly relative, however, I would say that taking time to becoming informed would be our nation's "road to recovery".   As Mr. Germond clearly points out that too often careers of genuinely gifted leaders are destroyed by a simple miss-spoken line (or as he refers to it as:   "a gotcha!"), or are destroyed from over-trumped up polls.   If we as Americans closely followed the debates beyond our nightly-news sound bite then we would come to see through all of the hazy inferences that can have, if spun enough, powerful consequences.

            Personally, I take the Buddhist's thinking regarding politics:   that enlightened societies produce enlightened leaders and that deluded societies produce deluded leaders.   The Buddhist argument then is that the individual must first work to enlighten oneself, and if everybody worked to enlighten themselves then a community of enlightened people would chose and support a wise and qualified leader.   This thinking, however, is difficult to sell because the enormous patience required and with a war raging and debts rising it seems a bit callous to suggest that we should all turn our attention toward personal growth then at some later date work on the world outside of ourselves.   I think though Fat Man Fed Up does offer a more subtle version:   see through the floor show, read more, and work to support candidates that actually have real ideas and solutions versus tight slogans and squeaky-clean images.

            Fat Man Fed Up-How American Politics Went Bad is a book I would highly recommend to anyone who is finding himself or herself increasingly jaded, and absolutely necessary for anyone who is naïve.   It would be fruitless to live the Champagne Life in a world of stale beer, and understanding how our leaders are actually granted power today is a responsibility we all should shoulder.  

 

 

A Road I Refuse to Travel

 

         Yesterday I was struck by an odd question, “Do more people die at night or at day?” Not really knowing where to begin to find the answer I commenced my research with the Internet. This seemed particularly right being that I write a column for the Internet. Quickly, however, I realized that punching in the question, “Do more people die at night or at day?” will bring you into very dark electric waters. The first page of Yahoo was a loose collection of various death tolls from wars or disasters. This was only slightly lightened up by a very energetic and excited page dedicated to Hell with really good feverish writing regarding the absolute existence of Hell. The author wove in bible verses and scientific facts more fearlessly and with more artistic interpretation than I have seen in a long time. By the third page my stomach felt weak. There were many suicide pages. And finally, this explorer, found one of her first real-live cyclopses on her perilous journey searching for the Champagne Life: it was a quasi-scientific site dedicated to explaining to people that We Were All Doomed. The curator of the site had collected several essays and scientific papers on themes such as the social implosion of Africa, over population, global warming, bio terrorism, and many other weak-in-the-knees-ideas. It was an ironic moment for me because in this site I had essentially found my evil twin for as he was doing everything in his power to insist you should not get out of bed I was putting in eighty hours a week under the premise that we should all most definitely awake mightily. I am no Pollyanna; I understand the world around me as well as anyone; however, I have come to believe that for all the dark there is light, and that the theater of life is a comedy no matter how convincing the villains are. So, in an effort to rebel—fully completely reject the doomsayers—I have decided to list a few things on this planet that have brought me much joy. And it is my hope that some of these things you will try out yourself and most importantly, all of these things will get your mind rolling around the things in life that give (or have given) you great happiness.

         Believe it or not this “high-brow” literary gal actually has a fondness for a little guilty pleasure from time to time…. One of my favorite things to do, so favorite that I do it very, very seldomly, is to run out and get some terrible Dunkin Donuts and listen to Howard Stern. Once, I actually had to flip over a profoundly sincere anthology of poetry because it felt too wrong to be laughing over a man who could “sing” songs with farts as I downed several rainbow-sprinkled lovelies.

         A long time ago a very wise boy who was quite handsome and desperately poor took me out on a heavenly date. It was early in the evening at summer and the dusk was warm and sweetly bright. He picked me up and was dressed finely. He then drove me to a park and walked me to a grand old Sycamore tree. He then informed me that this was one of the most wonderful trees he had ever seen and that he wanted me to see it. We walked around and studied and sat underneath the tree the whole of the evening. And it truly was the most wonderful tree in the world. The bark appeared as lovely and ornate as a Gustav Climpt painting. I traced the ornate puzzle pieces with my fingertips. The branches were low and long—they were better than mothers’ arms—you could wrap your arms around them tightly and the limbs filled your entire torso. We did not eat or see a movie or hear a song or even take a drink of water and yet when he dropped me off I went to bed completely satiated. Now whenever I see a Sycamore tree I feel utterly happy. What a wise man.

         Just a few days ago I was awoken by the sounds of geese coming home. I immediately leapt out of bed and struggled to see the arrow as it passed overhead. I actually pressed my cheek against the glass. No luck, but their “hello, hello, hello, we’re back, did you miss us” was enough to make me feel completely spring-rainly happy.

         One day I was completely bored with my life and completely bored with myself so I decided to pretend I was someone else. I pretended I was a charming gay man who wrote and designed beautiful coffee table books. That day, I (as the charming gay man) was working on a book about scones. A friend came over and completely—tacitly understood—so my friend also became a charming gay man. My friend's new persona was a physician’s assistant who had a reckless fondness for vintage BMWs. It was heavenly to have a day off from being me. My friend agreed.

         The surprise joy of siblings…. When I was perfectly new to the city I found myself out with perfectly new people. One gent was a little nervous from all of the newness and drank himself out of even being cab-able. So me and another new gent had to drag him back to my place. We had to walk by a beautiful almost cathedral in my neighborhood and I simply would not let him vomit in front of the church. So we kept swearing at him and kicking him lightly to keep him from puking. When we got him back to my place we draped him over my toilet where he puked several times and then passed out over the toilet. I took his cell phone out of his pocket and called what I hoped was a friend of his (for I did not know him very well). It turned out to be his brother. His brother came to pick him up. He coolly walked in my house checked out his moaning, vomit covered brother who was still draped over my toilet and then joined me and my other guest in the kitchen. “Hey, are these paintings yours?” he asked me. I answered “yes”. He then said, “Cool. You got a smoke?” I then gave him a cigarette and a beer and he leisurely smoked and drank and chatted about art—and then—finally saved his brother. That moment still cracks me up…oh the surprise joy of siblings. They will pick you up in the middle of the night when you are covered in vomit.

         Surely, there is enough to find pain and fear in, so for today, my beloved Sailors and Patrons, it is my suggestion that you contemplate what it is that gives you happiness and mirth. It is I believe a road of rebellion that when traveled can vanquish even the best of the hairy ogres.

 

 

Cards for the Weekend

 

         Socrates was a big proponent of divination, and so, dear readers, am I. His reasoning was thus: A man can find and marry a beautiful woman with every fine quality imaginable—this is Reason. However, a man cannot know whether or not he will have a happy life and marriage with said woman—this is Fate (an only the gods know situation). Socrates strongly believed that man should employ both tactics—reason and divination—if one wants to live a successful and productive life. Conversely, however, as Socrates warned against the conceit of acting on pure reason, he had a similar warning regarding divination. Socrates had sharp words for those who use divination when reason should be employed. In other words, do not bother the gods with things you can handle on your own.

Today, for my column I have decided to act as High Priestess and do a little divination for everyone. I am going to use the Tarot cards for my reading. And while I in no way claim the title of Adept, I will say that I have been reading cards for over ten years and within that time I believe I have at least gained some insight. The Tarot consists of 78 cards. Twenty-two of them are called the Major Arcana cards. The remaining 56 are the Minor Arcana cards. The Major Arcana cards are both numbered (0-21) and titled: the Fool, the Empress, the Lovers, Death, etc. These cards are essentially the major life lessons that one must undergo in order to attain complete enlightenment. In a reading they usually signify the deeper significance to any one event. The Minor Arcana are much like normal playing cards. Like playing cards they are divided into four suits: Wands (clubs), Cups (Hearts), Swords (Spades) and Pentacles (Diamonds). And like playing cards each suit has court cards: King, Queen, Knight, and with the Tarot there is an additional card: the Page, which is the card for children, unmarried women (usually under 30) and for communication (letters, telephones calls visits etc…).

         While the history of the Tarot is still quite obscure a few things are known about it. It originated thousands of years ago and is directly related to a system of theosophy known as the Quabbalah (yes, that Quabblalah—Madonna’s Quabbalah). The Quabbalah is the name of the Jewish oral tradition or esoteric doctrine. Many people also believe that the Tarot perhaps has shared roots with the I-Ching or Book of Changes, which is the ancient Chinese oracle. The first known decks that are in their current form emerged in Italy around the fourteenth century and were used in a game called Tarocci. In fact, today Italian playing cards still use the symbols of Wands, Cups, Swords, and Pentacles verses the clubs, hearts, spades, and diamonds of American playing cards. The French word for Tarocci is Tarot and there we get the Tarot cards.

         My question: “What lesson or advice do all who read my column on the weekend of June 3 - 5, 2005 need?”

         The answer: The Empress, The Five of Cups, The King of Pentacles, and The Chariot.

         This clearly is a weekend where “the elephant in the room” must be dealt with. Normally, The Empress is a card that symbolizes immense household happiness and comfort, however, sitting right next to her is The Five of Cups. The Five of Cups is a card of sadness, vain regrets, and disappointment. The card also suggests that one is having difficulties seeing other opportunities or paths to happiness because their focus on the negative is both strong and captivating. When you put The Empress and The Five of Cups together you have a situation where someone is though trying their best to pretend to be happy through maybe good food, drink, or even a night with friends is not. Essentially, one will not be able to avoid or run away from their problems this weekend no matter how hard they try.

         However, the cards were always meant to help one find enlightenment and peace and to be able to work through any situation and within these cards lies both the problem and the solution. I say “the elephant in the room” because I get a sense from these cards that everything on the outside looks great…The Empress…but on the inside something dark is looming. But right after The Five of Cups is The King of Pentacles and here we get our first clue on how to finally deal with something or some issue or some past experience we have been unable to confront and solve. The King of Pentacles is a man of action, tenacity, and prudence. He is stubborn, but he does not spend much time debating or worrying. This king realizes the importance of right action and will take necessary steps to solve a problem—versus other kings that might simply contemplate or think about a problem—this king will always deal with a problem.

         The next card is The Chariot and it is a major arcana which means here is where one of the main issues is. The Chariot ultimately is a card for supreme success, but a special kind of success that usually requires letting go and taking on a wholly different path, however, the wonderful thing about a reading when The Chariot appears is that this new path will absolutely prove successful. But the point is: to begin this new path one must necessarily deal with and let go of one’s past—including one’s past regrets and disappointments. Again, once you finally deal with “the elephant in the room” then finally true success, true victory will be yours.

         Ultimately, I will say that the weekend cards are simple, but by no means easy. The Empress is our warning card: do not hide from your problems with sensory pleasure whether it is food, wine or anything else that is lovely and fine and can keep you from wholly facing your “elephants” or demons. The Five of Cups is our “reality-check” card: whatever you have been avoiding or running from is as big as ever and this is a time when it really should finally be dealt with for it is clear that it will be felt and that it will not just fade away on its own. The King of Pentacles is our “how to” card: essentially, if we are simply to confront the issue with a sense of tenacity and prudence then all will be fine. The King of Pentacles is a very strong king and rarely can he be swayed or thrown…so know if you do confront some long lingering issue this weekend that you will have the calm and strength to do so. And finally The Chariot is the outcome (if we finally deal with our elephant): and this outcome is fantastic, absolute victory, but a victory that may not be known until we finally let go of our past. That is the curious part about The Chariot in that we must “clear our decks” and completely let go until we can enjoy the supreme success of The Chariot…and I stress supreme success…this is a very powerful card.

         So, I suppose this truly is a weekend to clean out your garage in order to make room for the car you thought you could never afford or deserve. But know—just know—you absolutely will have enough inner and outer strength to achieve this exercise.

         Have a great weekend! See you on Monday.

 

Macaroni and Gravy

 

 

         The other day I had something I do not often have: bottled spaghetti sauce. And I will say I was stunned. It tasted just like thickened salt water…and it was supposed to be a “premium” brand…and yet I found I could not use enough black pepper or grated Parmesan to make the mess taste good. This was news to me for very often I wondered about all those bottled sauces that take up nearly a whole isle in the pasta section, and being a vegetarian, I will say I was on more than intimate terms with the pasta isle, however, being an impassioned cook I would say the bottled sauce was some exotic mystery to me. Of course I have had (I am quite sure) gallons of the stuff over the course of my life, but for the most part both in my kitchen and my mother’s, spaghetti sauce was something that was made, not heated up.

         If you are a bottle goer know now that you have really been missing out on a simple and gorgeous experience: “Macaroni and Gravy” and know that this explorer cares deeply for her beloved Sailors and Patrons and wants today to not only share two of her simple recipes, but the idea that one should really let go of the boy-band equivalent of the pasta and red sauce experience (the bottled red sauce), and from now on, only eat pure jazz. For truly, with just over a half-hours effort you will find yourself realizing (as I had just a few days ago) that bottled sauce is as empty as a pop song…sure, pop songs are light and easy and good to drive or work-out to, however, when it comes to nourishing your body and your soul one should really aim a little higher, a littler richer. So, with all that said…here are two of my favorite red sauces. They go well with just about any type of pasta and are very, very easy to prepare.

Red Sauce with Balsamic

1 28 oz. can Ground Peeled Italian tomatoes

1 med-small onion chopped

3-4 cloves fresh garlic chopped

2 ts. Dried basil or 2 T. chopped fresh basil

2 ts. Dried parsley or 2 T. chopped fresh parsley

3 T. olive oil

1 T. balsamic vinegar (special note: there are a lot of
choices in your supermarket for balsamic vinegar. This is not a time
to go cheap. Really invest in a good one as the taste is
profoundly different between the vinegars. It will last a
long time in your kitchen so try to splurge a little with this ingredient.)

salt and pepper

         In a good-sized saucepot or Dutch oven heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and generously salt. Sauté for around ten minutes or until onions are golden and very tender. Add garlic and cook until the scent of the garlic is strong (do not over cook garlic…normally it should only be cooked until the perfume is released). Add the basil and parsley, then generously pepper and stir well. Then add the balsamic vinegar and stir until all of the vinegar has evaporated. Then add tomatoes. Stir thoroughly, cover and simmer gently for thirty minutes to (really whenever) an hour. Remember to stir the sauce occasionally as it simmers. Gradually adjust salt as it cooks…normally I start tasting it near the end in order to get a better idea how much extra salt the sauce needs. Note: if the sauce is too thick add water by the Tablespoons until it is your desired consistency. Makes enough for 1 lb. of pasta.

Red Sauce with Hot Red Pepper

1 28 oz. can Ground Peeled Italian tomatoes

2/3 c. chopped onion

1/3 c. finely diced carrot

1/3 c. finely diced celery

5 cloves garlic chopped

2 T. olive oil

1 T. butter

1 T. dried parsley

1 ½ ts. Oregano

1 ts. Sage

1 ts. Paprika

1/8 ts. Nutmeg

And start with 1 ts. (or ½ ts. If you are really nervous) Crushed red pepper flakes.
Keep on adding until desired heat, but know that this sauce should be spicy!

Salt and Pepper

         Heat butter and olive oil in large saucepot or Dutch oven over med-high heat. Add vegetables and generously salt. Sauté for ten to fifteen minutes or until the vegetables are seriously tender and beginning to brown a little. Add garlic and cook for just a few seconds. Add all of the herbs including the red pepper flakes and cook for around thirty seconds. Then add the tomatoes and thoroughly stir. Pepper the sauce (black pepper) and cover. Simmer, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes. Check the red pepper and salt level for the sauce and re-adjust. Simmer for another 15 minutes and once again, check the red pepper and salt level and re-adjust. Simmer at least five minutes more if you needed to add more salt or red pepper. Otherwise it is ready to go…this sauce can sit and purr on your stove for some time. Note: this sauce may be too thick…again, add water by the tablespoons until desired consistency is achieved. Makes enough for 1 lb. of pasta.

 

 

 

Little Screen Review: VH1’s “Kept”

 

         Last night VH1 debuted a new reality show under their newest creation: Celebrealty. The idea behind Celebreality is that people really enjoy watching celebrities period. We simply like to watch them…watch them eat…watch them cry…watch them breathe. It is cynical to be sure, but I must admit true. The promos for these new celebrity reality shows are dark, and tongue in cheek regarding America’s relationship with stars…B-list or not. The new show I watched last night was “Kept”. “Kept” was heavily written about and promoted nearly a year before last night’s debut. It is a curious concept show to be sure. Model and extremely famous rock star ex-girlfriend (of Rolling Stones’ Mick Jagger), Jerry Hall, is looking for a gigolo to truck around her world and the planet at large.

         The premise behind “Kept” is odd to be sure: Jerry Hall imports 12 American men to compete in England for her affection. The prize is you get to be Jerry Hall’s pet (of sorts) and you get to (as quoted from the VH1 website) join Jerry and “live a life of luxury” attend “star-studded events” and “rock ‘n roll parties” and enjoy “socializing with her friends and family in London”. This is a weird, ambiguous prize to be sure, and I found myself really appreciating the good ‘ol days when things like cars and vacations were the high point of game show booty. The gents are young—dramatically younger than Ms. Hall (though Ms. Hall looks unbelievable)—and a prize of hanging out with her friends and family seems like more of a challenge for a young, twenty-something gent than a genuine prize.

         While Jerry Hall was shockingly stunning (she looks younger than she did ten years ago), and I genuinely found myself liking her, the gents were a little goonish. There was just something so unmistakably sleazy about these guys who are fighting to be a lap dog all for some good hors d’oeuvres and maybe a little travel. “Star-studded” events does sound intriguing, however, one suspects that being Ms. Hall’s boy pet (a position won no less from a television show) is not really the first impression one wants to make with people regardless of their star status or just how “studded” the event is. In truth, even though their was something a little off about these boys I could not help but feel a little sorry for them. It made me sad seeing these young men who could do anything and be anything in this world competing for a chance to be a pretty nothing. And what began for me as a night of hoped for lighthearted pleasure quickly turned into a pathos-filled hour of lost boys fighting for a clearly hardened (or career minded) woman. There was some excited talk about female power and finally the “girls having a go” at the oldest profession, however, what I found was a middle-aged woman who seemed a little nervous and (most likely bewildered as to why she got herself into this mess in the first place) uncomfortable. And she should be because it is weird. I understand life can be lonely and a little pretty nothing can be a drink of water in a desert, but to raise it to such a celebration without any contemplation as to “how did I get to the place in life where I am now shopping for human pets to hang out with versus seeking genuine affection”.

          However, the point really is entertainment and while I had been awaiting some real light-hearted amusement what I got was a grim social study of human relations. So, with that said I will say CATCH EVERY EPISODE. I know I am, and I believe I will find days of fantastic conversation regarding this most curious enterprise brought to us by the devils at VH1: “Kept”. (Episode 2 airs Thursday, June 2 at 9 p.m. EST)

 

 

Humbled by the Venom Master

 

         I would like to say I had a marvelous holiday weekend, however, in truth, my Monday was so marred by conflict that I find myself more relieved than anything to face my work week. Friday came in with a good honest exhaustion making for a rather pleasant night of a little good food and wine and barebones fraternity. Saturday was finally sunny, and a little deck-side party was had at my house with good snacks, killer sparklers, and very good conversations. Sunday was heavenly as it was the day of the Indianapolis 500 which I have to admit more than stirred me—I believe I nearly fainted because I found myself not breathing I was so enraptured by the whole affair—and now talks of catching a race in Montreal are on the table. The cars…the drivers (who are no doubt the most good looking sportsters on earth)…the outfits…the raceway…in short, I was in heaven as I literally sat clutching my sides in utter excitement as the whole event unfolded. So, for Sunday I will say I hummed highly with race dreams on my mind and this lasted until bedtime with my last thought being that I now have a new dream: to one day own my own racing team…The Better Drink racing team…The Better Drink racing team! So, Monday…Monday opened up sunny, and I found myself feeling a little like it was December 26 (The Better Drink racing team…oh, I can see my racing team zip-up uniform now…). It was sunny and I enjoyed my coffee al fresco and planning a sort of very slow day ending with some gourmet vegetarian sausages on the barbeque (do not laugh at me my beloved meat eating sailors and patrons…you would be amazed by the exciting new food science regarding faux meat…absolutely space age). Then—and if it were a movie surely the theme from Jaws would have come on—the call came. And my whole day took a decidedly different turn—and within twenty minutes I went from reading cookbooks and sipping coffee on my back deck to walking laps in my neighborhood Target store in an attempt to cool down my temper. For nothing cools the giddy ego of a wannabe Zen master as the surprise attack of the Venom master…and in my case the Venom master came in the form as a lady real estate monger…whose utter genius is pushing every one of my finely hidden fury buttons, and this peace loving Buddhist found herself hanging on to her tongue with all her might for fear of a real ghetto-quality shouting match in front of her house. However, in an odd twist, as I wrestled with my formidable, middle aged she-Venom master, I found myself consciously trying to observe the situation and see what I can both learn and report on the experience of intense anger—anger aimed towards another person—big time wanting to bring in a lawyer anger. Here are both my findings and the ways I managed to go from wanting to scream at her to just wanting to peacefully walk away. I found five secret “kung fu” moves one can do to quell a Venom master…however, even with these moves I will say the greatest thing a Venom master does is humble an aspirant. You can go along thinking you are completely together and enlightened…and then Wham!..you realize just how far you still have to go to earn your Yoda ears.

         Move one: The Pacing Lion. When you are first attacked by the Venom master know that he or she thrives on destroying your ability to reason and will only gain power if you move on pure negative-aggressive energy. When you feel that you, want to say, march outside and cuss someone out then know you are not operating with all your mental powers and immediately leave the situation. For me I found taking several laps around my local Target store invaluable. The Garden/ Patio center was particularly helpful and for a brief moment while lounging in one of their massive gazebo set-ups I felt like I was on some fantastic lake house having a great time.

          Move two: The Soaring Eagle. After you feel you no longer have the capability of turning your life into an episode of Cops then shift your mindset. See yourself as an explorer searching for the Champagne Life. I find this move alone worked in completely shifting the moment from victim anxiety to heroic effort. It was also a great way to diffuse some of the emotional fall-out from intense anger, which put me in the perfect form for the next move.

         Move three: The Crow. Just as the crow will take the wheat and leave the shaft somewhere in the toy department I found myself separating the material issues from the emotional issues regarding the conflict with my Venom master. In truth, there really was a difference: there was the real problem at hand, and there was the way the problem was being handled. In separating my Venom master’s personality from the actual material problem I found my blood pressure greatly dropping along with her significance. Soon enough, I was thinking of solutions more than wanting to tell her what kind of person I thought she was.

         Move four: The Ancient Turtle. Back at home and a little deeper into the evening I found why it is the Venom master and not the biting master or the stinging master. If it were all about a bite or a sting then relatively quickly the pain would cease and one can move on, however, the genius and power of the Venom master is the venom. After the bite from this master one becomes infected with venom that will last and last and it is actually the venom and not the initial bite that can bring an aspirant down. So, even though I had cooled down and had found some solutions to the actual problem I found myself still twitching with anger-causing venom. Now is the time for the Ancient Turtle. I found that finding a quiet place and meditating to be invaluable. In my meditation I asked the universe to not only help me with my anger, but also to help me know what lesson this Venom master is trying to teach me. And in this meditation I held strong onto the idea that in reality this Venom master has come into my life as a loving soul—a wholly wise and compassionate teacher—and in casting her as teacher and me as humble student I found a real crack in my anger.

          Move five: The English Fox. After my meditation I had found that while my anger was almost wholly gone…my spirits were low and I was saddened and exhausted by the day. I returned to my deck. The night was a good deep blue, and I sat with a friend with the earnest hope of salvaging my Monday. The final move in battling a Venom master is a rejuvenating move—a raise in positive vibration. I cast my Venom master in a Shakespearean comedy. Yes, a grand buffoon-filled, comedy with all the parties involved cast in silly costumes with even sillier accents and mishaps. And as I played the bumbling hero and cast my Venom master as the lesson-giving villain, a softness came into my heart and mind’s eye. For I had finally with this last move, vanquished my Venom master and now the only worry I have is when I face her again it will be difficult not laughing for now I see her not as foe, but as a brilliant comic character whose only real job is making the play interesting and exciting. Who really wants to see a bunch of pretty heroes happy as clams whiling away a sunny afternoon? For in truth, plays only get exciting when the Venom master appears.

 

 

Remembrance Weekend

 

         Memorial Day and more accurately Memorial Weekend is upon us, and to be honest I have always had some difficulty in understanding this American phenomenon. If Memorial Day is supposed to be a day of honoring all those who have served our country—who have died—who have come home—then why is it a day of barbeques, big sales at shopping malls, and drinking beer (or sparkling wine depending on your crowd and tastes)?

         War for me has always been the point in which human misery, human frailty, and human cruelty has reached its apex. Soldiers in my heart are the ones who are left to deal with this crisis of humanity that was built by all of us and yet they die they lose limbs they leave their families. Surely they are a part of our world, soldiers, and in that light, are part of the human psyche that eventually builds up to war; however, it always seemed to me that the solider shoulders the bulk of the hell that we all collectively caused. And yes, I believe we all collectively cause war. The moment we feel hate we begin war. The moment we feel greed or vanity we begin war. War is the final outcome of human weakness, and soldiers fight this war and die for all of our difficulties in seeking peace, love and security…which in truth, can only really—truly be found when we learn how not to hate, how not to be greedy, and how not to be vain. With this logic, I have come to see the soldier as a noble bearer of man’s failure. They pay our bill so we do not have to.

         Thinking of a soldier as the bearer of my inability to cease hating and to get over my fears, which very often are the root of hate, greed, and vanity (truly the root source of all wars), makes me realize the enormous importance—responsibility—one has in genuinely trying to seek finer human qualities. All of our fear, greed, hatred and vanities eventually leads to the death of our young sons and daughters and the death of other lands’ sons and daughters, and it is my conviction that until we all collectively take responsibility for our wars then we will continue to sacrifice our youth who are surely too young to have instigated the eventual avalanche of violence. War begins the moment we hate.

         Learning how to live without fear, without hate, without vanity or greed is some journey. A massive heroic undertaking to be sure, and I believe I have enough compassion and wisdom to know that we humans are a long way from perfection. However, though the journey to rid this earth of war is long and complicated, I believe we can do a better job in appreciating all of the men and women who carry our collective human failings. We can all stop seeing war as being everyone else’s fault therefore not recognizing our responsibility and the importance of showing support and gratitude for the men and women who gave and are currently giving their lives for us. By seeing war as a product outside of ourselves we are able to distance ourselves from the soldiers who do not have the luxury of distancing themselves from the harsh, violent reality of war. All wars will end and never begin when we end them in our hearts. In the mean time, it is my suggestion that we take a little pause and truly thank the men and woman who genuinely are fighting our battles and dying our deaths. If we were all to actually feel the depth of service these men and women of the military render then I believe it becomes increasingly difficult not to seek the changes—the inner, personal changes—that are required to bring about a world of peace, which is the ultimate love and support a society can give to its military.

         I suppose I am going to be throwing some veggie burgers on my barbeque and yes, I will be sipping something fizzy, but deep in my heart I will feel a little tug, a little oddness in it all. Memorial Day is really a strange day—and I suppose I will always feel a little weird about making a party day out of what I see as such an august time. So, I suppose the compromise I shall strike with my conscience is to take a mourning moment on Memorial Day and really pray for all the soldiers currently in battle and for all who have gone before them. And then I will pray for myself that I will be less fearful, less hateful, less greedy, and less vain—which I believe is the ultimate thanks and support I can give to a soldier.

 

 

Film In Review

 

 

         Today feels a little like Christmas for this editor as a much anticipated event has finally arrived: the release of The Better Drink’s first Film In Review column (found in our Art & Literature section). One thing that is absolutely apparent when one checks out our first Summer ‘04 issue and the current Summer ‘05 issue is how much the magazine has evolved over the course of one year. For me this new column, Film in Review, represents a huge amount of growth for the magazine. There is just something so special and satisfying when one takes something from dream to reality and today marks that pivotal moment of idea to actual product.

         The Better Drink I believe is strong in that it was created with a spirit of independence and a want to make something wholly fresh, and I believe our movie review offers a slightly different approach to film reviewing. Andreas Matern, who is one of our original supporters and staff writers, wrote our first movie review. His only instruction from me was “keep it between 200-500 words…otherwise do what you want”, and one can instantly see that Andreas has no need to kiss anyone’s behind. The idea of having a review that does not necessarily need to end up being copy on some DVD box in the future is exciting and refreshing. Andreas has been a long time movie maniac, and I chose him because to know him is to know that he takes a bad movie (or a good one) personally. Andreas also has a much needed skill (for a movie reviewer) of not caring what other people think, and after reading his review of Episode III: Revenge of the Sith one can immediately see that this reviewer takes his movies seriously and is not going to sugar coat his opinions for anyone. This I like, and while I know that not always will I agree with my reviewers, as an editor, it is my role to stay out of their way and give them total free reign if the magazine’s new review section is to have any weight.

         The other cool thing about The Better Drink’s new Film in Review column is our approach to reviewing a new DVD release. For this review we had Shawn and Janet Fallo, a husband and wife writing team, review the DVD. Shawn and Janet have a little boy and anyone with small kids knows the reality of weekend movie rentals being the primary source of entertainment. With that said finding a movie that both Mr. & Mrs. would enjoy can be some feat. Shawn and Janet review the newly released DVD Meet the Fockers, and it is funny and enlightening to read their different perspectives. I loved having them review because they are not professional writers or film critics. Mr. and Mrs. Fallo are a really cool professional couple in which time is precious and wasting an evening on a terrible movie really means something. I believe we all will be able to relate to not only needing to find a movie that pleases both the ladies and the gents, but also wanting to find a movie that doesn’t make us angry for wasting an evening on a disaster…hopefully Shawn and Janet will help us with both those goals.

         Finally, the third part of the new column Film in Review is the “closet classic” review. Nowadays there are so many…so many movies available for rent that it is often overwhelming when one departs from the new release section of their video store and moves into the main body of the rental shop. Titles after titles that hint at some promise—that allude to great entertainment—and yet how does one really pick one over the other when one is basing their selection on a DVD or video cover? Hopefully, my “closet classic” review/ recommendation will help us all in finding lost gems. In time I hope this section becomes a great forum or resource for people to discover and learn about movies, though perhaps forgotten, are nonetheless amazing and are worth a revival. A dear old friend of mine, Eric Lewis, writes our first “closet classic” piece about an old sixties cold war epic The Shoes of the Fisherman. I was excited when he sent me his submission because it was everything I had hoped for the “closet classic” review: it was a movie I had never heard of and after reading his review/ recommendation I was excited to check it out.

         Many would argue that in our culture movies are the most powerful and pervasive art form and with this I heartily agree. Movies are unique in that just about every sector of society from senior citizens to children to even the very poor takes part in the experience of movies. One of the prime directives of The Better Drink is to open up a forum-like atmosphere dedicated to this heady experience we call life, and having a column dedicated to the potent and world affecting medium—film—I believe is an integral path for exploration. I am very proud of my reviewers. I believe they all did a terrific job, and I am eternally grateful for all of their hard work. Every one of my reviewers have busy and full lives, and yet they took a little time out to share their thoughts and opinions regarding this big beast we call the movies.

         So, with all that said please check out The Better Drink’s newest column Film in Review, and it is my hope that some pleasure and insight will be had. Here is the link (once again, the Film in Review column can be found in the Art & Literature section of the magazine).

 

 

A Reading For Wednesday

 

 

         Socrates was a big proponent of divination, and so, dear readers, am I. His reasoning was thus: A man can find and marry a beautiful woman with every fine quality imaginable—this is Reason. However, a man cannot know whether or not he will have a happy life and marriage with said woman—this is Fate (an only the gods know situation). Socrates strongly believed that man should employ both tactics—reason and divination—if one wants to live a successful and productive life. Conversely, however, as Socrates warned against the conceit of acting on pure reason, he had a similar warning regarding divination. Socrates had sharp words for those who use divination when reason should be employed. In other words, do not bother the gods with things you can handle on your own.

Today, for my column I have decided to act as High Priestess and do a little divination for everyone. I am going to use the Tarot cards for my reading. And while I in no way claim the title of Adept, I will say that I have been reading cards for over ten years and within that time I believe I have at least gained some insight. The Tarot consists of 78 cards. Twenty-two of them are called the Major Arcana cards. The remaining 56 are the Minor Arcana cards. The Major Arcana cards are both numbered (0-21) and titled: the Fool, the Empress, the Lovers, Death, etc. These cards are essentially the major life lessons that one must undergo in order to attain complete enlightenment. In a reading they usually signify the deeper significance to any one event. The Minor Arcana are much like normal playing cards. Like playing cards they are divided into four suits: Wands (clubs), Cups (Hearts), Swords (Spades) and Pentacles (Diamonds). And like playing cards each suit has court cards: King, Queen, Knight, and with the Tarot there is an additional card: the Page, which is the card for children, unmarried women (usually under 30) and for communication (letters, telephones calls visits etc…).

         While the history of the Tarot is still quite obscure a few things are known about it. It originated thousands of years ago and is directly related to a system of theosophy known as the Quabbalah (yes, that Quabblalah—Madonna’s Quabbalah). The Quabbalah is the name of the Jewish oral tradition or esoteric doctrine. Many people also believe that the Tarot perhaps has shared roots with the I-Ching or Book of Changes, which is the ancient Chinese oracle. The first known decks that are in their current form emerged in Italy around the fourteenth century and were used in a game called Tarocci. In fact, today Italian playing cards still use the symbols of Wands, Cups, Swords, and Pentacles verses the clubs, hearts, spades, and diamonds of American playing cards. The French word for Tarocci is Tarot and there we get the Tarot cards.

         My question: “What lesson or advice do all who read my column on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 need?”

         The answer: The Ace of Cups, The Knight of Swords, The Queen of Swords, and Strength

         Well, I will say right off the bat that love is in the air; however, judging by the players today is most definitely a day of “truth or consequences”.

         The first card pulled is The Ace of Cups. Essentially, this is a card for overflowing, true blue, intoxicating, unconditional love. It is most definitely a powerful card, and while there are many cards in the deck that can signify love this is the only card without any qualifier, which gives it a broader scope than say a love card that represents lovers, or friends, or even a family. The Ace of Cups represents love in its most pure and perfect form, and I assure that on days when this card comes up a good dose of emotional warmth is coming your way.

         With all that said about love there are some curious cards that follow after this blissful card, namely, The Knight of Swords and The Queen of Swords. All of the sword family carry one major trait: honesty and (well…to be honest…) suspicion. The sword family is very cautious and intelligent and shrewd. The worst thing one can do to a member of the sword family is lie. Rarely, will a member of the sword family take anything you say without some sort of deduction, and never can a member of the sword family be fooled. So, not only are they not good to lie to they are never to be fooled. The two members that are present today are the knight and the queen. The Knight of Swords is a somewhat argumentative idealist and will leave a situation if he feels in anyway lied to or treated insincerely. His main “flaw” is that his heart can appear fleeting, as he will leave absolutely if he feels the situation not to his liking or standards. However, The Knight of Swords will not lie to you, and nor will he speak or act in anyway insincere. With The Ace of Cups right above him one senses that today know that the people who will tell you the truth and who demand the truth of you are the “real deal”, and one should take care not to lose the support of one’s non-flatterers for their heart genuinely is true.

         The Queen of Swords is unique in that she is the only single queen in the deck for traditionally The Queen of Swords is a widow. Romantically speaking there is really only one way to her heart: and that is her mind. She is shrewd, powerful, and above all honest. She is a terrific counselor and can be trusted with anything—including a person’s heart—including a person’s life. She is not as fleeting or idealistic as the Knight of Swords for she is older and profoundly more experienced. Her widowhood signifies her independence and her experience with tragedy (so note her widowhood is wholly symbolic and that many Queens of Swords are wives…I am quite sure many husbands know this to be true). She is not an easy queen to have as a friend, wife or lover; however, she is a true friend, wife, and lover and can and will use her sword to ferret out the truth of the situation. She, like the knight, cannot be lied to for her ability to perceive any dishonestly is pristine. However, she is warmer than the knight in one key way in that she has an enormous sense of humor whereas often the idealistic knight has difficulty lightening up. All in all the people to love and trust are the ones who may not be so easy, but who will never lie to us or allow us to lie to them.

         The last card I believe sows up the reading and really brings to light the situation: the major arcana Strength. Being that it is the only major arcana its message is to be seen as the leading or most important card—the one meant to temper and affect the meanings of the other cards. Strength does not really mean “strength” in the literal sense. The Strength card represents controlling one’s material reality—having the ability to master the fabric of the universe to one’s liking or will. Strength represents not only profound power, but also a profound wisdom in that man does indeed have the ability to create whatever reality they choose. Seeing Strength round up The Ace of Cups, The Knight of Swords, and the Queen of Swords tells me that today is a good day to remember—truly know—that we are all masters of our lives. However, the true sage understands that it is really love that we are working with and forming—it is really love that makes up the power from which we use to build—and today this pure source of love is powerfully present. But this love, this potent life-forming energy is not coming to us in the form of ease or flattery it is coming to use through the people who challenge us to be honest with ourselves and others and to live up to our finest ideals.

 

 

Stop To-doing

 

         A few years ago I read this really snappy and terribly helpful self-help book, and while unfortunately the title of the book and its author elude me now the lessons I learned within the pages do not. It was written by a life coach (a new societal craze and profession), and while at first I really thought it would be a good laugh (for I still sort of wince at the idea of a “life coach”—I found having a soccer coach in high school to have been trying enough) the book turned out to be a fantastic read loaded with all sorts of profound and practical wisdoms. And while sadly I am unable to remember the author’s name or the book title (nor can I find it—for half of my home is packed to move) I will say that it was wonderful, and when I un-pack I will share another of her wondrous pearls and give you the title information.

         The little great wisdom today I want to talk about is her insistence on getting rid of the To-do list. Yes, an absolutely buttoned-up, clearly type-A life coach spends a whole chapter on ditching The List. Shocking, but true. And although I cannot recollect her name right now I can immediately call up her picture, and I will tell you that one needs to only gloss over her image to realize that this woman absolutely has her life in order. I almost needed sunglasses as I read her book for her clarity and glowing sense that life could be far more together than one previously imagined was blazingly bright.

         Her argument against the To-do list can be broken down into three main points: flexibility, the importance of developing habitual wisdom, and removing the “life is a race” mentality.

         Flexibility she argues is truly the mark of a champion—a life champion. One of the big problems she found in helping her compulsive “listers” was that they tended to nurture both a myopic worldview and a false sense of control. In truth, life whether personally or in the work place is filled with many unexpected crises and events. If one is only seeing their day within the boundaries of their To-do list, then they might not pick up on a more pressing problem: a problem that they did not plan on dealing with and did not foresee when they formed their list. Listers tend to have difficulty being flexible with life, and very often are unable to sense or see when they need to change the course of their day. This is not a good habit or way of living, as true success often comes from a broad and encompassing world view: basically if you are focusing on your list you are not paying attention to what is actually going on around you, and you might be missing some key or more pressing issues that deserve your time and attention. By removing the list one shifts their mindset and bases their daily activities on what is actually important rather than what one predicted to be important. This list-free world view will in time teach one a profound ability to not only be flexible but to be aware.

         The second reason one should get rid of their list is that as long as one uses the “crutch” of the list for their compass then they will not fully force their minds to develop habitual wisdom. If, you are facing life with flexibility and awareness and acting on what is important at hand and not trying to hold onto what you insist should be or you thought would be important then you begin to develop wisdom. And the more you allow this sense of wisdom to develop then eventually this wisdom becomes habitual. Habitual wisdom is not unlike muscle memory. Anyone who has taken a dance class or has played a sport knows that the moment one “thinks” about what they are doing is the moment they mess up. One practices and practices their moves so that when they are on the stage or on the field they are able to “just do it” and not think about it. The same goes for habitual wisdom. If you take away your list you will begin to develop an inner knowing of prioritization. As you move through your day more and more you will simply just know what it is you should be doing, and operating on this deeper, instinctual level is far more wise and effective than hanging on to a list that was made beforehand. The To-do list is really an big wish for control; surely an illusion; in truth, we do not really know what the day will bring; and if we can get rid of that false control then a real sense of life mastery will be allowed to flourish. Essentially, the To-do list short circuits our ability to learn how to develop sharp instincts, how to trust those instincts, and then how to act on those instincts regarding what one should be doing to most effectively use their day.

         The last major argument against the To-do list is the idea that as long as someone reduces their day to a list then they perpetuate the idea or mentality that “life is a race”. In truth, life is not a race. Life just is. We can sculpt and perceive our lives anyway we want. To-do lists really are stress producers not stress reducers. For they are based on an illusion: that one can wholly control the world around them. The only thing a person can control is one’s perceptions of the world around them. Living your daily life off a list creates a perpetual sense of “got to”, “have to”, and “should”. However, living in a sort of future-based hypnosis prevents one’s mind from truly seeing and experiencing the moment and it constantly engenders a sense of urgency and risk of failure; for really there is only so much time in one day and many things that were wholly unforeseen will take up that time you had so boldly promised yourself to fill with items on you list, hence, making the To-do list is absolutely an exercise in futility. And what this life coach found was that To-do listers become extremely stressed out and wholly ineffectual as they constantly try to support and insist on a futile schematic.

         So, for today my dearest Sailors and Patrons it is my suggestion that you all experiment with letting go of those lists. Now, I know that telling a lister to not make a list is rather like ripping a security blanket away from a small child…but then again shouldn’t that analogy say it all?

 

 

Our Internal Happy Meter

 

         Recently, a friend of mine told me about a book he was reading with the suggestion that I could maybe talk about it in my column (which know dearest Sailors and Patrons is something that I heartily welcome…for this explorer genuinely needs all the help she can get). The book is called: “Conscious Loving—The Journey to Co-Commitment—A Way to Be Fully Together Without Giving Up Yourself” by Drs. Gay Hendricks & Kathlyn Hendricks. Within the pages are insights after insights, however, one observation made by the couple-counselor duo after years of practice I found wholly profound, revolutionary, and something that not only brought a new perspective towards people but a seriously great tool towards achieving happiness.

         What the doctors came to see was that people have a “happy meter” (of sorts). For thousands of years the struggle of survival had chiseled a worldview based on hardship and suffering. Essentially, life was hard. This worldview and material struggle caused a certain reaction to form in the human psyche regarding moments of joy. Times of joy were such a striking break for man that while they were absolutely wonderful a deep sense of dread would ensue after the moment of joy. For hardship and struggle were, though negative feelings, comfortable; whereas joy and happiness, though extremely positive and pleasureful, were uncomfortable in that they were new, surely fleeting, and untrustworthy (in that they were too foreign to be trusted).

         As man evolved and life became more balanced between raw survival and leisure the doctors theorize that our collective psyches are still stuck in the cave man worldview of serious fight or flight and still are not able to trust or relax in happy states with struggle and hardship being more comfortable and therefore subconsciously pursued and held on to. Time and time again they would observe that in times of celebration or joy a person would seemingly suddenly “turn on a dime” and find themselves almost overwhelmed with negativity and sometimes anxiety, and within that moment would begin to mentally talk themselves out of their happiness (and usually bringing others down with them). Suddenly, the wonderful dinner party that was so fun becomes a time of worry: perhaps the people did not like the food; or pleasant conversation can be perceived by a person, racing to find negativity, as being suddenly offensive. The doctors discovered that people seem to have a certain level of happiness that they can handle, and once that peak of joy is reached than they will quickly scramble to bring their happiness level down. This can be a problem, especially when one’s meter is set rather low, but it can also be a hint towards a way to live a seriously happy life: for the doctors have also found that patients of theirs can learn how to set their happy meters seriously high, and some people can manage to dump the meter altogether allowing their psyches to lavishly enjoy life without any fear or mistrust of the happy state.

         In one example taken from the book a female patient was talking about a special Christmas arranged for her mother. Friends and family had flown in from all over the country to gather around and celebrate Christmas with her mother. It was meant to honor her mother especially. The day was described by the patient as filled with joy and merriment, and her mother appeared to have been deeply touched by the outpouring of love. Then as if “a switch was turned on” her mother then worked “to do everything possible to reject it”…the mother could not handle the outpouring of love towards her and worked to lower the positive energy level of the party. Quickly, what began as a wonderful family Christmas became a tense event as the mother suddenly began to point out all the shortcomings of everyone around her—of everyone that had traveled thousands of miles just to be by her side for Christmas. In another example, a couple was in counseling and experiencing a breakthrough moment. A huge outpouring of love was expressed by the couple as they reached a new understanding regarding their relationship, however, almost as soon as the room filled with positivity the husband then blurts out to his wife that she “smelled funny”. Instantly, his wife became deflated and they returned to their comfortable argument pattern.

         For me personally I found this human observation to ring outrageously true: so much so that I was amazed that I had never noticed it before. The idea that people have a certain amount of happiness that they can take before they need to retreat to a comfortable personal level of negativity was to me revolutionary. And I found that, as I looked at my own self this to be unbelievably true. I saw that very often in moments of utter happiness my heart would turn and “run for the hills of negativity” and I would find myself almost seeking the bad in the situation and denying the good.

         What makes these doctors kind souls and not just smart is that they offer a solution to this ingenious observation, and I will say from personal experience, that already their suggestions work in raising one’s happy meter. The first step is to become emotionally aware. Meaning that before one can really work on one’s happy meter that one needs to be aware how it is one is feeling at any giving situation. Once one can learn to become keenly aware of their rolling emotional states then one can quickly begin to feel the phenomenon of the happy meter. It’s strange, but I found I could really sense when my ability to accept joy was being peaked and my want to “take it down a notch” would kick on. At the moment you feel this almost irresistible urge to retreat from feeling good you are to rest. Yes, rest. This means that instead of allowing yourself to begin the self-talk that can change your perspective from positive to negative, you just rest in the moment trying to keep a sort of neutral inner voice. I have found that when I begin to exercise negative self-talk that just paying attention to my breath and really staying in the moment is not only enough to stop the inner happy killer, but to keep me in a sort of sustained neutral to good state. Over time one’s mind will adjust and their happy meter will rise—allowing for longer sustained periods of joy—and less negative self-talk. For really the meter was only formed out of habit with people choosing what is comfortable and familiar over what is necessarily positive or negative.

         So, to all my beloved Sailors and Patrons, today it is my suggestion that when you find a want or urge to deflate a positive moment resist the impulse to engage in negative self-talk and instead choose to simply rest in the moment. For surely people strolling the golden shores of The Champagne Life have chucked their happy meters out all together. Surely.

 

Eureka! A Super Cheap Sparkler…That You Can Drink!

 

         In a column many moons ago I wrote about an absolutely ghoulish night in which I tossed and turned, was constantly awoken by my wrestles geriatric dog, and I was suffering from hot flashes and nightmares that were no doubt brought on by my choice of seriously cheap wine. You see, since The Better Drink began many of my (though fantastic at life) friends who had not managed material security, were a little wary of my choice of magazine themes: sparkling wine. In fact, I did have to endure some ribbing (which in truth was fair considering the amounts of cheap beer I have been known to swill with my friends privately) regarding me living or espousing to live some sort of “high brow” life. I took their comments seriously and agreed: living The Champagne Life must absolutely be open to all levels of society, for truly amazing humans walk on all roads of prosperity. I also felt, however, that sparkling wine still was a strong enough experience—an active metaphor of a truly sparkling life—that even people on a beer budget should try to weave a few poppity corks into their lives. Hence, the major cheap wine experiments began. And know this, my dearest Sailors and Patrons, that this fearless explorer has tried many terrifyingly cheap wines…and to be honest, up until last night, only trauma has been found.

         But dreamers with faith, I believe always find victory, and in this case, my core belief was wholly proved true: I had finally found a cheap bottle of sparkling wine that not only did not cause serious pain after consumption it tasted great…and not just one-glass great, which is doable for just about any beverage that is cold. No, this stuff was enjoyed until the end of the bottle. And being that it is not yet six AM, and I am able to “tell my tell” one can see that its landing was as gentle as any heady champagne.

         The wine I speak of heralds from Australia and costs $7.99. Now, I realize that still a 12 pack can be had at that price, and that I am still working on finding a perfect intoxication/ dollar ratio, however, at $7.99 per bottle (and if you drink the whole bottle yourself) than a pretty fun buzz can be had for the price of a six pack of imported or micro-brewery beer. Wanting to be honest and wanting to be thoroughly scientific in my “research” I decided that in order to properly report on this wine I really had to test it in the fashion in which I predict it will be consumed: basically I did not exercise temperance when I consumed this wine, and my friend and I decided that in order to really test this wine’s metal we needed to drink a lot of it. So, we each drank one whole bottle. We both found that it tasted as good from start to finish, which is nearly impossible for any wine let alone one in this price range. However, with this little sparkler from Down Under no weird acid-reflex type reactions occurred. Also, the buzz was light and kind: no fights broke out (which can happen with some cheap wines) and no one started to hallucinate (which can also happen with some cheap wines).

         In addition to buzz considerations we also tried this wine out with several types of music and we found that it couldn’t really hold up to country western, but Indie rock, jazz, and house music worked well. And I think at one point show tunes might have been played…without much dizziness or discomfort…though I might have just dreamed that we listened to show tunes. This is a broad range of music, and rarely can one find any beverage that can take on the likes of The Birthday Party, John Coltrane (even the experimental stuff), and the sound track of Mary Poppins (my newest musical obsession).

         I did not consider any type of food paring when dealing with this wine because in truth when I find myself swilling beer and listening to Metallica “food paring” roughly translates into “what do I have in my kitchen that will keep me from having the bed spins”. We did have some homemade Puerto Rican bean soup along with some bread and brie, and it did taste great, although in all honesty by that time in our evening Doritos with canned bean dip would have been just as awesome.

         The name of this wine is a little difficult to pen down…they just sort of call it “Sparkling Brut” then in really little letters it says “Australia De Bortoli”. Below it says “Sparkling Wine of Australia”. On the back of the bottle there is a little more assistance regarding what this wine is and it reads: “Sparkling Wine”, “South Eastern Australia”, “750ml. Produce of Australia Alc 11.0% by Vol”, “Produced by: De Bortoli Wines PTY LTD”. And in tiny print on the bottom: “Wines under the dB label are blended from fruit grown in selected Riverina vineyards and made at the De Bortoli family’s Bilbul winery. This sparkling wine displays herbaceous aroma, fresh fruit flavours and a creamy palate with a crisp, clean finish. The ideal wine for any occasion.”

         Well…all I can say is bravo to the De Bortoli family…for having a little heart for those of us who are searching for not only The Champagne Life, but also quarters in our couch cushions.

         Have a great weekend! See you on Monday.

 

Come Join The Better Drink Party

 

 

         I want to, once again, print in my column The Better Drink Submission Guidelines. It is a great way for you all to get to know the magazine and the reasoning behind our curious blend of sparkling wine, personal essays, fine art and literature. One of the ideals behind the founding of this magazine was that Dr. Timothy Smith and I wanted to open up a forum of life and living with sparkling wine being the metaphor for living a celebrated life—regardless. It is a happy time with the magazine as I have found myself looking back over the first year of The Better Drink. I cannot express to you enough the honor it has been encouraging, editing, and publishing the work of several people who were not only not professional writers—who were also extremely busy professionals that at first proclaimed “Jenn, I am not a good writer!”, and then only to find that inside of them was not only a person who could write, who could express themselves richly, but also a person who found great joy in expressing some of the deeper aspects of their life and of living.

         When I think of The Better Drink I believe it is this very quality—the sharing of stories from people coming from all walks of life who may or may not be professional writers (or aspiring professional writers) that makes this magazine shine with an authenticity and heart rarely captured in a publication. I suppose every editor has a vision—a specific creative agenda for the ship in which they captain, and for me keeping a sense of truth and the generosity of one human sharing their heart with another is at the core of what I want to present. This is not to say the writing of the finest caliber is not at the top of my list, for surely anyone who has worked with me will know that I am quite demanding in that respect. However, I am demanding because the people I have chosen, or who have chosen me, I ask to write because regardless of their worries I can sense that within them is something rich and fine, and as editor it is my job to pull that gold out of their sand. And in the end, for all who have at the very least just slightly considered submitting something to The Better Drink, every person I know who has gone through the nerve-wracking, time consuming process of writing something for the magazine has come away feeling a sense of great joy and accomplishment. Absolutely, I see that I have one of the finer jobs in the world!

         So please, read through these guidelines. Complete submission guidelines are in the magazine telling you how to submit your piece or proposal to me. Below, though, is the description and requirements of each of the columns open for submission. I really implore you all today to read through these and consider joining The Better Drink party.

Categories Open for Submission

         Feature —Length 5,000 to 10,000 words. We will (unlike other categories) accept a feature based on proposal. However, the piece must be fully completed within three months of acceptance. We are interested in articles revolving around sparkling wine, champagne, or truly inspiring people. The stories may be personal, contemporary, historical, or even philosophical—we are really looking for work that embodies the spirit of the magazine. We have pretty open minds at The Better Drink so be creative. Pays $100.00. Paid upon publishing.

         Passion Forum —Length 750 to 1,500 words. Passion Forum is a section dedicated to a person who has found a true passion in their life. We here at The Better Drink both admire and celebrate individuals that have found a true love and self-generated excitement in their life…and for those of us who have not yet found that special something, we think the writers of Passion Forum can inspire us and others to continue searching. Passion Forum must be written in first person, and the author must be writing about their own passion—whether it is knitting, stamp collecting, or growing hot, very hot peppers! Note: for accepted pieces we will be requesting a photo of you, and the photo must be submitted electronically. Pays $35.00. Paid upon publication.

         HelloGoodbye —Length 1,000 to 4,000 words. HelloGoodbye is our “full circle” section. By printing side-by-side first person accounts of a union formed and a union lost we hope to illuminate the beauty of being within both sides. It is our belief that people can grow and shine in times of both gain and loss. The loss or gain, however, does not have to be always profound, we welcome lighthearted and humorous stories as well. The point is people come and go in our lives and The Better Drink wants to celebrate life with all its ups and downs. Pays $40.00 for either Hello or Goodbye. Paid upon publication. Note: while photos are not required for HelloGoodbye, we really love them. Please note in your submission if you will be providing any photos or art that would add depth to your piece.

         Under the Goldlight— true tales of drinking champagne –Length 1,000—5,000 words. Under the Goldlight is really just what is says…true tales of drinking champagne…or sparkling wine. What we want is a first person account of something that happened to you while having champagne. It can be a “…boy what a night I had” type of thing or a “best moment ever”. Your tale can be funny, sad, ironic, or embarrassing. The only key is that somehow sparkling wine needs to be involved. Pays $40.00. Paid upon publication. Note: we will only accept stories for this column of writers 21 or older. The experience may be about when you were 16; however, we don’t want to publish it unless you are now over 21.

         Life Before Ten —Length 750—5,000 words. Life Before Ten is our newest “first person” column. It will be debuting in our Summer Issue (out May 15). We would like a real-life, first person account of something memorable that happened to you before you were ten years old. We believe that one’s childhood is an integral part of one’s adulthood. Taking a look at that time can be funny, sad, or even frightening. The Better Drink strives to celebrate life and the human spirit. We are always searching for new angles to help express and perhaps even foster personal growth. Opening up a forum of childhood memories we believe could be a welcome and enriching…not to mention entertaining…experience for our readers. Pays $35.00. Paid upon publication.

         Poetry— Any length. Any style. Just mail us your best. You may submit up to six poems, however, only two poems will be finally accepted. (Note: two poems is the minimum submission.) Pays $20.00. Paid upon publication.

         Fiction —Length 1,000 to 10,000 words. We are open to just about all genres (except no pornography or any piece with explicit violence). Pays $50.00. Paid upon publication.

         The Marcia Reed Virtual Gallery — The Marcia Reed Virtual Gallery will be a presentation of an artist’s work with a special emphasis on the emerging artist. It is so rare that people ever get to see the art of their times—not to mention regional and still-to-be-represented artists. The Better Drink wants to open up the opportunity for both artists and our readers to share the unique experience of contemporary art. The Virtual Gallery is open to all artists of any age, style, or experience. Presently, we are only able to show visual art: photography, sculpture, painting, drawing etc…. Both galleries and individual artists are welcome to submit, and while we will not directly sell work in our magazine we will provide links and contacts for readers and other interested parties to the accepted artist and/or gallery. The submission guidelines are as follows:

         Page 1—Please write a one to two paragraph biography. For accepted artists we will be requesting a photo that must be sent electronically. (It can be included on your CD of slides.)

         Page 2—Write your statement of purpose (In non-lingo: tell us what your work is about and why you did it.) The statement of purpose should be one to two paragraphs…however, if you have a real manifesto, please feel free to submit…we really do not have any concrete word limit.

         A CD of your slides—we ask for a minimum of twelve slides and a maximum of twenty-five. Typically the show size is twelve. (Note: you can have your traditional slides transferred to CD by just about any local photo shop.) Please send enough postage (including return envelope) so we can return your CD.

Final Reminders

--All pieces must have appropriate envelopes and return postage.

--Do not send us your original anything!!! While we are very careful--things do get lost--so please make copies!!!

--All writing must be typed, double-spaced, and sent hard copy via traditional mail.

--State submission category outside of envelope.

--All submissions must have a brief cover letter, and please tell us in cover letter if your writing can be sent electronically.

Additional Note:

         We have a Holiday Issue that comes out November 15, 2005, and we would love holiday related material! If you are interested please include on your cover letter that your piece is holiday themed. Likewise, we also have a Vacation Issue that will be released July 15, 2005, and we would love vacation related material. Please note on your cover letter if your piece, whether fiction or real-life, is vacation related.

 

Living On Purpose

 

         Well hello to my dearest Sailors and Patrons…it is a new chapter in our heady excursions…searching for the Champagne Life, and even though we’ve all just boarded the ship today, I can see there is some storm in the channel from which I’ve launched. No smooth send off today: for today I want to go right for the rough waters and talk directly about living on purpose. For new explorers just joining, welcome, and know that you have boarded a ship in which the explorer is genuinely searching for an uncommon life of happiness, passion, and value, and while I humbly admit these things only seem to appear in fits and starts in my own life I still feel a great swell of optimism that one day whether through the sage words of Shakespeare or the quiet lessons of Dogen a moment of great understanding will swell big enough to push my weary vessel upon the sweet, golden shores of the Champagne Life. As always I heartily encourage and recommend that you all participate and feel free to “drop me a line” with further comments and suggestions for travel.

         These days my biggest preoccupation is the idea of living one’s life on purpose. For I have come to believe that it is not all that important to find the meaning of life rather the crucial exercise is to finds one's purpose in life. Understanding a sort of grand meaning is still a passive role whereas acting or living on purpose is active, and I believe it is here where we find the subtle difference and it is here, passive versus active, that we can see the importance of one over the other. Living on purpose…I will say right off that I believe living one's life with a guiding purpose that affects everything we do from romantic courtships to how we eat, play, and dress is a wise course to take, and one I believe that will produce many, many miracles. Living with a sense of purpose is one of the greatest dignities afforded a person. It can produce a sense of empowerment, passion, and wonder. Besides producing grand mental and existential states living one's life with an active and genuine relation to purpose I believe is the only way to experience continuous positive results from a material perspective: in this I mean only if, I believe, one is truly living on purpose can great and meaningful relationships occur, jobs, or even material abundance. Surely, you can find friends, spouses, jobs, and even riches without living with a strong sense of purpose, however, very often little joy comes or sustains with gain not derived from a keen sense of value and purpose, and beyond the absence of lasting joy very often material gains from actions that do not parallel one's heart and soul do not last and the friends, lovers, and jobs seem to be short lasting—impermanent.

         While this subject surely is vast (and will be a platform for many explorations to come) today I want to share what I have come to believe, as being the three major qualities that one should consider when commencing a life on purpose.

         The first quality is service. I wholly disagree with the life premise of “find what you like to do then pursue that”. This I think is faulty in that what one “likes” is very often like a fault line existence in that “like” and “dislike” are too often volatile plates on which to build one’s life course. The subtle mental shift in living life on purpose is to “find how you can best serve the universe, then pursue that”. Operating under the premise that what you are doing is in service to the world will bring a level of passion and dignity that will very often outshine even the toughest of passages. Meeting with a major stumbling block on the road to pursuing something one simply “likes” is rarely met with courage and drive. However, when one has a Joan d’Arc level of purpose then nothing—nothing can sway you. Furthermore those sharp blows found often in life are rarely as painful or debilitating if one feels strongly that what they are doing is of great importance to the universe. The joy of passion and dignity will far outweigh any direct lack of abundance or support.

         The second quality is imagination. To live on purpose means to create a potent mental picture of what one absolutely conceives to be their goal. If your goal is to help reduce child abuse then the very first step is to imagine yourself achieving your goal, and so during the difficult times of study and effort (things required to gain the knowledge of pursuing your mission) one can hang onto the picture of a world with less child abuse and you being instrumental in that coming to fruition. This is so important: nothing will ever be achieved unless it is first conceived. We were born with big imaginations for a reason. It is our first step towards forming our material reality. If you have paused on your dreaming, get right back to it. Dream your life and build a picture of you achieving your ultimate goals. That picture will guide and mold your actions and your decisions.

         The third quality is faith. There truly is a bizarre magical quality to faith. The famous little “engine that could” is not faulty wisdom; indeed it is the truest wisdom of all. After one shifts their thinking to how they can best serve the world and then forms a picture in their mind of success, then the final and most crucial step is operating with the mindset that one's mission, one's mental picture will absolutely, positively happen. And I will tell you this right now—without any doubt whatsoever—if you operate under the state or condition of complete faith then absolutely your dream will become reality.

         Certainly, these are skeletal-like ideas that only barely touch on the awesome idea of living on purpose. However, I believe (as I have been attempting to cultivate them myself in my own life) these three qualities are a good beginning, and it is my hope that during this new chapter of adventuring that the idea of living on purpose will be more thoroughly explored.

 

 

 

 

The Better Drink Turns One

 

         Welcome to another new issue of The Better Drink. Summer 2005 marks our one-year anniversary, and we could not be more pleased. This magazine genuinely has been a labor of love and I have many, many people to thank who have been integral to the process, growth, and continuation of this brave adventure I call “the magazine”. Oh, how many people have heard me say that phrase “the magazine” over the course of this past year. As the editor I had one mission and that was to make each new issue better than the last and with this issue I believe I have achieved my goal. The contributors of this issue all deserve mansions and yachts for their hard work and incredible writing…and instead of big cars and Rolex watches they get paltry checks and calls from me asking where their rough draft is. I still am so utterly honored by the dedication and brilliance of my staff and by the many other contributors I convince to write for the magazine. I owe you all some of my cooking and lots of my wine! Thank you. Thank you. One million times over.

         Our Sparkling Wine Section has grown a bit, and I am proud to present a brand new column: Industry News. The interview for this issue was done by none other than our illustrious Paul Donaldson who interviewed the ultimate Champagne Lifer Liz Dueland. Also I would like to thank Liz for taking time out from her incredibly packed schedule to do the interview. Personally, I was inspired by Liz’s energy and her immense sense of personal integrity…a true Better Drinker! Paul, you know you are awesome and I am really wondering when you are going to take over the world. The amazing father and son team Dr. James and Dr. Timothy Smith wrote an impressive feature for this issue: “War in Champagne”. Definitely check this one out. My two impeccable gents really put their hearts into this assignment and one will not find a better historical survey regarding the history of war in the Champagne Region.

         Our First Person section is, once again, amazing. Many of my original staffers contributed, and we all saw just how much they have grown as writers over this past year and how much I have improved as an editor. Suzie Sims-Fletcher wrote the “goodbye” of our “HelloGoodbye” column and it is amazing. She tackles the complex emotional relationship one has with their roommates…for roommates are not family, lovers, or even really friends and yet the bond is often as strong. J. Blake Gordon wrote the “hello” this time around and tackled an extremely delicate issue regarding beauty and attraction and love. I was so completely proud and surprised by Mr. Gordon’s bravery in his piece and his willingness to be honest both with us, the readers, and with himself. Anna Luciano is back giving us a great ride through her life, and we get to join her on a champagne drenched slumber party. I don’t know about anyone else, but nothing to me sounds like more fun. Fredrik Bergström is back with a grandly researched and finely tuned manifesto regarding architecture. I love Fred! He is intense, and sensitive, and really (with some convincing) gave us all a “Passion Forum” that will not soon be forgotten. Lastly, Dave Brown, my long time friend and most loyal staffer, has written The Better Drink’s newest column “Life Before Ten”. Dave takes us on a funny, deviant flash back to his youth. It is a great read, and I found this new addition to the First Person section really does place one back into ones little shoes.

         Our Art and Literature section is truly one of our best ever. Painter and gallery owner Heather Somershein shares with us a collection of her complex and beautiful works. She is a very busy woman, and I was amazed just how much time and enthusiasm she lent us in putting the show together. This is one art show not to miss so please check out Heather’s work in this issue’s “Marcia Reed Virtual Gallery”. Ian Detlefsen returns to The Better Drink with one of the darkest, funniest short stories I have read in a long time. Do not skip the fiction section of this issue…this sci-fi story is (I repeat) is not to be missed. You will be grossed out, intrigued and you will laugh hysterically…a rare combination to be sure! Poet Felipe Victor Martinez is also back with two of his poems. Felipe as a poet is of rare enthusiasm and dedication. I feel honored that he has shared a few of his newest poems with us and I heartily recommend you all read them.

         I would also like to thank all of my friends and family including the behind the scenes efforts of Felisha Foster in spreading the good news…The Better Drink. This past year has involved more time and work than I could have ever imagined when I decided to join forces with Dr. Timothy Smith. Making this issue was intense for Dr. Smith and I and we both feel that we have really only just begun with what we could achieve with The Better Drink. We are both still so incredibly stunned and honored by all of the great response and support we have received from friends, family, our writers, and especially our readers.

         Thanks Tim we’ve made it a whole year….

         Jennifer Barnick, Editor

P.S. And for you my beloved Sailors and Patrons our journey towards the Champagne Life will commence this Wednesday, May 18th...so pack your bags, kiss your best girl goodbye, and prepare to set sail!